But Not Anymore

I'm updating up a storm. Enjoy it while you can.

This is the fourth in the Ponder Chronicles.


People think that I don't know anything.

But, hello, guys, I've been around for about a hundred and twelve years. And, granted, I was asleep for a most of them, but still.

My friends are changing so fast. They're… finding things to do without me. They're finding excuses to not be around me.

Sokka found pleasure in throwing boomerangs at trees, and sitting in the sand.

Katara thinks too much now, and collapses against Appa, like she did just about a week ago.

I don't know why I think this… but I think that she has been meeting someone.

A certain someone.

It makes me jealous.

So what if I've got a slight crush on Katara- I mean, come one, she's the one who freed me, and always understands me.

I used to be able to understand her… but not anymore.

I always used to get Sokka's moments of misplaced anger… but not anymore.

We've been stuck on this island for days. We're heading east- that's where a supplies are- but got caught in a storm.

The storm knocked some sense into me.

I don't want to save the world anymore.

Being the Avatar is too much. You're respected, and you're hated. People love you, and people wish you would die.

Your friends would die for you, when all you want is for them to live…

So forget about being the Avatar. I won't do it anymore!

But… still… I have to. It's my destiny. My destiny.

Why?

Why was I chosen? Why couldn't it be someone else? Why did it have to be me, Aang, the simple airbender at the temple?

A single raindrop hits me on the forehead.

So, it finally rains, does it?

Just when we were going to leave- the opportune moment.

Why do I have to be a living blue arrow, pointing everyone in the right direction?

I kick the ground, sending pebbles flying.

No.

Not anymore.

I won't.

I won't be the Avatar if it means my friends have to die!

I won't be the Avatar if it means I have to die!

I make a noise, a noise that rips from my chest.

NO! I WON'T DO IT!

"Aang?" Katara's voice says. "Are you okay?"

The realization hits me all at once.

"Yeah, I'm fine Katara."

I was chosen to save the world.

I have to, because I'm the Avatar.

I have to make this world for people to live without fear.

I have to purge this world of fire, with fire.

I have to stand brave above everyone else, defeat the Fire Nation, and save the world…

I didn't want to before.

But not anymore.

A voice is suddenly heard.

"Say something, Katara!"

Zuko!

What is he doing here?

I rush into the brush, ready to fight…

Only to find that no one is there.

Am I hallucinating?

I rub my forehead.

Someone was there, but not anymore.

What's happening to me?

What's going to happen to us?

The skies open up, and rain pour down on us.

Katara shrieks from surprise, a parcel in her arms, and rushes to keep it dry in her pack.

Sokka yells, jumping up from a nap under a tree.

Momo chatters angrily at the sky, while Appa groans disapprovingly.

"Well," Katara says, a slight sad smile on her face. "It looks like we'll have to wait out the storm…"

Bitterness erupts inside of me.

Maybe I don't want to wait this time.

I fall against a tree and sulk.

I didn't want to be the Avatar.

But not anymore.


What's next?

I dunno, possibly one more with Iroh, Appa, or the flying lemur.

Ooh, just got struck by inspiration. Perhaps I'll do the island they're stuck on next.

Review, for the conclusion is only weeks away…