Mostly dialogue, Raven ranting. Not exactly a wel written thing, more of a drabble thing.

Erm. Yeah.


"Come on Rae, you know you love me"

"I wouldn't push her on this one B,"

Beast Boy was saved by the alarm going off.

"Mumbo, bank, lets go."

Ten minutes later.

"Now where were we?"

"You were annoying the living hell out of me. So stop."

"Come on Raven. Just admit that you love me."

Raven snapped shut her book, she had to get this out of her system.

"Beast Boy. If you mean I love you like Kori and Dick love each other, thats a no."

Robin and Starfire blushed.

"Of course, since those two have the perfect fairy tale love, thats not saying much. Now, if you mean that I love you like I love Robin, like the twin I never had, down to the freaky mind reading thing, then no."

Robin had to smile at that.

"If you mean that I love you like I love Kori, no. Kori is my almost sister in law, my opposite compliment. So, no, I don't love you like I love Kori"

Raven needed twenty minutes to recover from the bone crushing hug she received.

"Ow. Erm. Oh, if you mean I love you like I love Victor, as a confidant, as someone who knows when to shut up, and as someone who I can consider a guidance counselor for when I'm more confused than usual, then, no."

Poor Beast Boy, getting shot down at every point.

"Now, if you mean I love you like a cat, well, lets just say no. Cats leave you alone, they don't beg for your attention, they know when you're pissed off and whether to comfort you or run the hell away. So, if you mean I love you like a cat, you are definitely wrong"

Beast Boy was hiding behind Cyborg at this point. Raven was starting to get scary.

"Now, if you mean that I love you like a dog, I'll have to say that you share some characteristics with them. You both crave constant attention, and are often loud. But, dogs eventually listen to commands, can comprehend monosyllabic words, and go away when you hit them on the nose with a newspaper. You, on the other hand, don't" A light bulb exploded.

Beast Boy had shrunk down, hiding behind the couch.

"Now, if you mean like a hamster, the things that seem faintly amusing when they are brought home, in fact, they might even be considered cute at some point. That is until you realize the disgusting things they eat, and the fact that you have to smell it. Not to mention the state of their living quarters, which is nauseating, and when they escape and get into your room and mess up your stuff..." Beast Boy squeaked, under a cushion at this point. Another light bulb blew up "And then they start gnawing on the bars of the cage at night and generally making a lot of noise that never ceases no matter what you do, until finally, you just wanna pick then up by their furry little butt and throw them against the wall with all your might. And then you take the book of Azar and start smacking its unconscious form until its little rodent heart stops beating, and you can throw it into the bay for Aqualad and his little friends to deal with, and drop kick its smelly living quarters down the stairs and for once in your life finally get some peace and quiet to read in-" Beast Boy's eyes were wide, Cyborg was holding back laughter,m and Robin now had his hand on Ravens shoulder.

"Raven, I think you're scaring him..."

"Oh, right. So, if you mean like a hamster, then, yes, I love you Beast Boy"

There were no longer any functioning light bulbs in the tower, but perhaps now Beast Boy would be quiet for long enough to let Raven read.


the hamster joke will become a running gag in any of my fics featuring Raven.

The hamster rant was inspired by me wanting to do that to my parakeet, but furry butt sounds better than feathered butt, so I made it hamster instead.