Notes: Minor spoilers for Volume 13. This is just something that randomly popped in my head and I just had to write it because I really like the idea that Yujinn might be Phelios :P There is a possibility that it might have a second part.
They come at him sporadically. Random dreams that always linger when he opens his eyes. No. They are not dreams. They are memories. Visions from another life. Another time. When he was a king fighting a war. When he had a wife and a child. When he was in love with a vampire that wanted him dead.
Yujinn doesn't like dreaming. He doesn't like remembering. He doesn't like knowing that he was Phelios. Because when Ishtar brings home a kyawl kitten he feels it, and all it does is confuse him, bring forward more dreams, more visions. But he can't be sure of his suspicions, so he waits until the man he remembers appears one day, presenting himself as Ihstar's doctor. He recognizes Duzell when he sees him. Stares at him as he walks by, but the vampire king just merely glances. Duzell doesn't know the person he's searching is so close to him.
The dreams don't let him sleep anymore.
In them he sees Duzell, sword in hand, bleeding and tired, but still lively, itching to fight, to kill. He can't take it anymore, he needs to end it. The spell flows freely from his mouth, like a song, forever in his memory. Duzell always has the same surprised look on his face. He always asks the same thing, "why would you sacrifice yourself?" Yujinn remembers exactly why. Because with his death others will live, with his death the people he has to take care off will survive. Because Phelios couldn't take Duzell's life and not die himself. So he's happy to give his life. Even when Duzell vows revenge. He smiles, because it's alright.
Yujinn didn't actually expect Duzell's words to become a reality. Maybe Duzell only remembers who he was, but he, Yujinn, had a life before remembering. A life he wanted to share with the people close to him. A life he enjoyed until dreams changed it. He doesn't remember what triggered his memories, but ever after they did, his life changed. It's a life he's willing to sacrifice again.
He doesn't have any doubts when he approaches Duzell, and tells him he knows who he is. He just reaffirms his suspicions that the vampire king hasn't found him.
He shrugs away Duzell's threats of killing his cousins, because he knows in the end it's him. This way he gets Duzell to help him, and in the end he'll be free from it all. No more dreams. No more visions. Yujinn doesn't want to remember being Phelios. He doesn't want to remember who Phelios loved. Because he's not Phelios. Even if Phelios loved Duzell. They are just dreams. They are just memories. They are feelings he doesn't want or need. Because he knows things are different now as he watches Duzell and Ihstar. Because the past is the past, and now is all he has.
And Duzell still doesn't love him.