Disclaimer: I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door or any of its affiliates. And much to my chagrin I do not write scripts for the show.

This time I will be making several installments so please review...

Operation: G.R.I.N.D.E.R.

Great

Renegade

Intoxicated-

Nearly

Destroys

Everyone

Ruthlessly

Missing in the Dark

(Opening scene: Numbuh 4 is walking toward Master 4's Dojo outside the Adult's Forbidden City.)

Numbuh 4: (sigh of relief) The Hidden Dojo! I should borrow Numbuh 2's jets more often… just hope next time he makes one that's more user-friendly.

(Looks back at a KND-plane with bent wings, a broken windshield and a badly dented fuselage.)

Numbuh 4: (inside the Dojo) Hello? Master 4? It's me, it's Numbuh 4 (wanders into the dojo); I just came by, I wanted to see how you… you… who… what…? …What happened?

(The Dojo is dark and strewn with debris)

(Numbuh 4 flips on his flashlight and wanders the Dojo, moving his flashlight across the floor)

(Numbuh 4 finds cracked bits of red and black armor from a teenager's uniform, a broken cheese knife of a cheese-ninja, bits of broken coffee mugs and old coffee grounds from coffee-rig workers and rings of soot and torched stone leading in a straight line toward two large circles at the entrance of the dojo.)

(A burnt piece of Master 4's uniform is on the floor near the entrance.)

Numbuh 4: Oh man! Master 4

(Scene change)

(Father is standing in a hospital waiting room, pacing back and forth. Sitting in chairs around him are about a dozen beat up teenagers, and cheese ninjas including Shogun Roquefort. Most of the teenagers have bandages and cracks in their armor; most of the adults have casts.)

(Cuppa Joe comes through the doors, one arm in a sling, the other arm helping him along on a crutch. A Doctor is walking behind him.)

Cuppa Joe: The surgery was a success, but there's a slight problem with the "adult-ifi-cation".

Father: (obvious annoyance) A… problem?

Cuppa Joe: (nervous) Ah… I think I'd better let the good doctor explain.

Doctor: Yes you see, um, Father, we've tended to his burns, they'll be fine.

As to his "adult-ifi-cation", well you see children can't drink coffee because their bodies naturally produce energy-rich molecules called "kid-o-zymes" which break coffee down. However, when the child develops into a teenager, these "kid-o-zymes" die out and the person can develop a taste for coffee.

The problem with your… uh, "son", is his body hasn't shed all of its "kid-o-zymes". It's very rare, but what's happening is that his few remaining "kid-o-zymes" are breaking down the coffee we've given him.

Given enough time he'll completely clean his system of all the coffee we've added.

(Father is simmering with anger. Fire is on his shoulders.)

Father: (working hard to compose himself) Well then Doctor. What do you suggest we do to keep the coffee IN his system?

Doctor: (shaken and intimidated) Well it's impossible for us to clear his body of the "kid-o-zymes", they're too small and too many. So I'm afraid the only thing to be done is to provide him with a continuous flow of coffee to counteract his body's defenses.

(Cuppa Joe begins to scratch his chin in thought.)

Father: (calmer but still impatient) Yes Doctor? Continue.

(Cuppa Joe is still pondering.)

Doctor: If we provide him with an IV drip and keep him here, he should build up a complete tolerance for coffee in a few months…

Father: (raging) MONTHS! Well Doctor, that is un-ACCEPTABLE! We need him adapted to coffee, completely ready and able within the next few hours.

(Cuppa Joe snaps his fingers.)

Doctor: (scared but still truthful) Well Father I don't mean to put a damper on your plans, but…

Cuppa Joe: I got it!

(Father and Doctor turn to Cuppa Joe.)

Cuppa Joe: You said we just gotta keep giving him coffee? Well my boys and I can make a suit that'll do just that. Why if we got started now we could have him ready in an hour or two.

Father: (calmly) Well then (turns impatient again) WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GET TO WORK!

(Cuppa Joe and Doctor snap to it and race away.)

(Scene change)

(Cuppa Joe, Coffee-rig workers and surgeons are all standing over a body on a table in the Operating Room.)

(Coffee-rig workers hand black pieces of clothing and armor to the surgeons. Workers also pass in an assortment of tubes and small bits of machinery. Several IV drips labeled "COFFEE" are set up around the table.)

(The head Doctor and Cuppa Joe step back from the table and remove their surgical masks. Looking very proud.)

(Father enters the room.)

Father: Well…?

Doctor: The operation was a complete success; his body is stable and completely Adult-ified.

(Doctor exits)

Cuppa Joe: (whispers in Father's ear.) He knows who you are and he'll obey any order, but there are a few things you may have to explain to him.

Father: Excellent! Stand him up.

(Cuppa Joe presses a remote control and the operating table inclines forward so that Master 4 is facing Father, face to face. Master 4 is dressed in a black suit with a mask over his whole face and a SCUBA mask-like coffee grinder over his mouth.)

(Master 4 starts a steady rhythmic grinding and slurping.)

Father: (politely) Hello. Do you know who I am?

Master 4: (slowly, in a deep, synthesized voice) Father.

Father: Yes. And do you know who you are?

Master 4: (hesitantly) I… don't recall. What would you have my name be, Father?

Father: Hmm… (looking at the black suit) Dark… (mask begins grinding coffee) Grinder. Yes, yes I think that name will suit you nicely – Dark Grinder. Well, now that we've established that, I have a special job for you my friend. If you're interested.

(Cuppa Joe presses another button and Dark Grinder's wrist and ankle restraints open.)

(Dark Grinder gracefully falls to one knee as he comes off the table.)

Dark Grinder: Ask what you wish, and I will see it done.

Father: Just what I wanted to hear.

(Father laughs evilly.)