Ah! My Naruto

By Gmusick

Act III: Chapter 01 – Ah! Three Years Is a Lot of Time for Changes

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer.

The sun was shining down upon the city of Konoha in all of its bright glory. People were milling about. The shinobi of the village ran about fulfilling their various duties, while villagers enjoyed the peace with their family and friends. The birds sounded happier, the grass seemed greener, and the village looked a far cry from what it had been years ago. Buildings that were once nothing but rubble, were rebuilt, and not only that, but the entire populace seemed to have a vibrancy that was sorely missing three years ago.

To Jiraiya, everything made him feel like he was walking toward his meeting with a firing squad. If the news for a certain group of females went over like he thought it would, then this would be the last time he would be able to enjoy the scenery with all his limbs attached.

"Damn kid always causing trouble," he muttered.

It was the truth in his mind. The past three years had been something of a hellish tour of duty. It did little to fix his current problem, but he could not help but think that the Fourth had never given him the problems Naruto brought just by being in his immediate vicinity.

Closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose, Jiraiya knew he was stalling for time, but excuse him if he wanted to keep 'Jiraiya Jr.' attached just a little bit longer.

"Maybe one more peek at a hot spring before I tell them."

The more he thought about it, the better it sounded, and without a second thought about his last actions as a healthy, virile male of the human race, Jiraiya left to commit his favorite act of perversion.


Tsunade was relaxed, her posture straight, shoulders high, and hands clasped together in front of her face. It was the perfect intimidation position. Anko stood next to her, arms crossed in the flaps of her coat, and there was a look of well-conceived boredom on her face. Too bad for the bruised and beaten Jiraiya who sat in a chair directly in front of Tsunade's desk, looking as if he'd been stampeded by a mob of furious women protesters.

Far from the truth, but spying on Anko in the bath had been a life threatening blunder on his part he would make sure to never repeat. How the woman found him he didn't know, but after the mauling she gave him Jiraiya moved her up his list of women not to piss off unless the situation called for it. But that depended on what they were wearing.

"Now, tell me again, where is Naruto?." Tsunade's voice was deceptively calm, but after long years of friendship Jiraiya could hear the hidden undertones of anger clear in her voice as if she were shouting.

Jiraiya swallowed the lump in his throat,. knowing he was walking on very thin ice at the moment. Getting caught peeking in the bath was bad. But getting caught and then telling them why Naruto was not with him made this a lot more dangerous.

Tsunade's mood swings were legendary and if he played his cards right hopefully, Almighty willing, he would be able to father a child in the near future… hopefully.

"I don't know," he said.

"Hmm..." was all Tsunade said, making a small sweat break out on Jiraiya's forehead. "And how long has he been gone?" Tsunade asked in the same scary, calm voice.

"Six, maybe seven months. But you've got to believe me when I tell you I really did look for him. I would have kept trying but he hasn't left anything to track him by. It's like he's completely disappeared."

"Do you think the Akatsuki or Orochimaru have him?" Anko asked, speaking for the first time during the whole conversation.

Jiraiya shook his head. "I don't think so. I would have received some word from my contacts. The Akatsuki haven't made any major moves yet, and Orochimaru has been strangely silent lately."

"Hmm…"

Tsunade was making that sound again and he was breaking out in an even heavier sweat.

"And the last time you saw him was six or seven months ago. He could be anywhere by now,." Anko said, the first traces of anger entering her voice.

Jiraiya tried to throw some bravado in his voice. "I know he's okay. He is my student and I only train the best."

After listening to Jiraiya, Tsunade stood up from her desk and commanded him to follow her. Somewhat put off by the quick change in the interrogation tactics, Jiraiya automatically followed Tsunade as she walked out the office and then exited the office building. When they began heading into a strikingly familiar part of the village, Jiraiya suddenly felt like ice was being applied to his spine.

"Um… where are we going?" he asked

Tsunade glanced at Anko, and nodded her head for the woman to go on ahead of her. Turning to talk to Jiraiya she said, "I'm going home and you are going to tell the rest of the girls the same story, verbatim, that you told me."

In a spectacular sequence that lasted the barest of seconds, only shinobi of the highest caliber could follow what transpired. Jiraiya blurred a set of hand-seals, intent on laying an illusionary genjutsu to help him get away from Tsunade. But as he tried to vanish, Tsunade used a burst on speed Jiraiya he never knew she possessed and spun around, delivering the most eye-popping, throat-collapsing clothesline in the history of mankind.

Jiraiya's body hit the ground with enough force to create a crater that spread out from his prone position on the ground for several feet in all directions. The people of Konoha ran like their lives depended on it.

Tsunade calmly walked up and placed one heeled foot of Jiraiya's heaving chest. "I take it you will not try something like this again, will you?"

Shedding silent tears of anguish, Jiraiya shook his head and prayed that Naruto was getting just as much hell brought his way as he was getting.

"Now," Tsunade started while easily lifting Jiraiya to her shoulder. "Let's see what the others have to say."

Jiraiya became so unhinged he started crying like a little girl.


Naruto looked at his new companion and for what felt like the hundredth time since meeting her, wondered just how he always wound up in these kind of situations. Not to say it was bad, but he just wondered why it happened at such an alarming rate. He was never this good at meeting women when he was little and actually tried.

"B.B., I don't know what color has to do with anything."

The young, blonde-haired girl, clad in a pair of red loafers, red dress, and a bright red cloak matching the color of everything she wore, laughed. "Naruto-kun, I really think that fruit is spoiled."

Naruto looked at the apple, frowning at the strange coloring before taking a bite another bite. "I don't taste anything weird about it," he said, talking with a mouth full of food.

B.B. Hood shook her head in silent wonder. "That's because you have probably warped your taste buds from eating all that ramen."

"I doubt it. If fruit was ramen-flavored then there wouldn't be a problem."

B.B. Hood's pearls of laughter washed over him and Naruto took a moment to enjoy the peace while he was able to. Walking across the countryside, picking fights with unruly, renegade ninja, ronin, and his new favorite, minor demons in disguise, wasn't the best way to make friends, but his deeds were contributing to a good cause. It also helped him work through the eons worth of techniques he would idly sort through since the Kyuubi's presence merged with his.

The first timetheir minds merged was the episode where he locked himself into his room. That first time left an undeniable impression that he had not managed to shake off yet. The Kyuubi was shaped, molded into the figure of an animal, but his intellect was all too human. A genius of the highest degree, Naruto recalled the hours he spent conversing with the mammoth beast, wondering how something so smart could be so wicked. It hadn't made any excuses for its actions. The Kyuubi felt no remorse. It fought, and would again if it was unleashed. It was then that Naruto felt the full gravity of the mission that was placed upon him.

The second such instance was the Sasuke battle three years ago. He remembered being held upside down. Descending the mountain at an insane rate of speed, there was a sickening crunch, and then he felt nothing, his body just felt numb. Then the Kyuubi sneered at him, told him in no uncertain terms he was weak, and gave him a taste of what his power had been when he roamed the world. The thrill of so much power at his command, and the nearly overwhelming taint of the Kyuubi itself that was trying to suffocate the life out of him. caused Naruto to feel like he was fighting two battles at once, and it was his determination that pulled him through that time.

The third time was a little more muddled. He had not recalled the incident, but the Kyuubi was all too happy to rekindle his memory as to what happened. The all-consuming rage, the mindless need to destroy everything in his path. This time, his willpower alone had not been enough to hold of the Kyuubi from influencing his mind and actions, and Jiraiya had paid for it.

He came to in a small forest area, surrounded by daisies. Coincidently, that was also where he met B.B. Hood. After spending a couple days getting his bearings and health back in place, his plans were to bid her goodbye and try to find Jiraiya. With a quick glance to his new female sidekick one could guess things did not go exactly as planned.

With a shrug and a smile Naruto figured things could have been a lot worse. He knew she carried her own sort of darkness, but she was nice enough. She smiled, laughed, played practical jokes on their mutual, unsuspecting victims. All in all she was the perfect compliment to him, the king of pranks. If Naruto had not seen her in actual combat, he would have underestimated her and thought she was just a normal girl on her way to deliver cookies to her grandmother.

Naruto looked at the small camp the two of them set up. They were a couple of hours, at most, away from Konoha. He was excited about returning home for a number of reasons. Unconciously, his hand strayed to the pouch stitched into the underside of his shirt to one of the main reasons for him to get home.

There, wrapped in a paper package, was a full spread of nude photos from the Overlord Morrigan herself, in both bodies, Anko and her real form.

He remembered the day he left and the special surprise he got from the green-haired vixen.

Flashback

Naruto looked around the room, cataloging everything in his mind and it amazed him how lived in it looked in this one, short year. In his old home there was never any real need to make it look good. He had a bed, a small kitchen, a dresser for his clothes, and an old hand-me-down scroll rack he found in someone's garbage one day.

This room had none of that. Urd had everything he owned in his old home replaced during the year. The first few weeks he had felt like an alien in his own room. But that had not lasted long. It quickly became his refuge to get away from Urd and Morrigan when they started drinking.

And they drank a lot.

Taking a deep, cleansing breath, he went through a mental checklist in his mind, concluding there wasn't anything else he really needed.

"You forgetting something, aren't you?"

Naruto turned around and found Morrigan leaning against his doorframe. "I don't think so. I've packed all the instant ramen I could."

Morrigan smiled, and for some reason it made the hairs on Naruto's neck stand on end.

"I wanted to give you a present before you left. Just a little something to help you remember me on your trip."

She reached out and pressed a medium sized envelope into his hands. "Go ahead and look."

The gift did nothing to alleviate the tingling in the back of his neck. Slowing opening the envelope as if it were a time bomb waiting to go off, he was surprised to see pictures.

Looking up Morrigan could see how confused he was. "Look."

Naruto did look, and boy was it a sight.

She walked toward him and gave him a kiss on the lips, saying, "Those pictures will help you when things get rough."

Naruto was too stunned to notice the kiss, or her walking out his door looking like the cat that got the canary.

End Flashback

The pictures were always on his person after a small mishap where Jiraiya had tried to make copies of them for his own collection. The pervert hadn't stopped his continued attempts at stealing them until Naruto promised to tell Anko Jiraiya was planning to write a story about her imagined sexual exploits.

That had stopped him. Everyone knew Anko's borderline psychotic tendencies were nothing to scoff at.

Of course, she wasn't the only one to give him something before leaving. Urd's had been a pleasant surprise, one he looked at with just as much enthusiasm as Morrigan's unique gift.

But the most surprising was Tsunade.

Boy had she given him a wammie of a gift. He had no worldly idea she liked him or thought of him at all other than an annoyance. However, no matter how hard he brushed his teeth he could never compare it to the cleaning she gave him when she slipped her tongue into his mouth.

Lost in his daydream Naruto couldn't stop the dopey grin that came over his face.

"You're being a pervert again."

"Uh…"

B.B. Hood leered suggestively. "Want me to help you fix your problem," she asked, pointing to the burgeoning tent in his pants.

Naruto eeped, hiding the evidence of his arousal behind his hands. B.B.'s laughter was loud enough to fill the entire clearing, and long enough for his embarrassment to reach its full capacity.

This wasn't the first time something like this happened, and to his chagrin, the instances were becoming more and more routine. No matter how much training he did, or how much he tried to ignore the persistent dreams at night of females locked in his passionate embrace, his body still reacted to without his consent. It was irritating and pissed him off to no end.

He wasn't stupid, he knew something was happening to him. The fact that he wasn't the least bit tempted when it came to regular village women, or the average shinobi told him something was wrong. But Morrigan, Tsunade, Urd, and even Kurenai for some reason, all of them were women of power. Urd a Goddess, Morrigan was a Demonesses, and Tsunade? He didn't know the extent that he changed her but she was far from normal now. Reverting someone back thirty years of life was not something that happened on a regular basis. He had no idea why Kurenai cranked his motor. Maybe he should ask her when he got back home.

He was going through that latter stages of puberty, and it was hitting him hard. During the beginning of this trip his mind was focused intently on getting stronger. The visage of Haku towering over him in all his supposed immaculate glory was the fire that stoked him for the first year and a half. But Jiraiya spent as much time being perverted as he did training him and that left Naruto a lot of time with nobody but the psychotic fox and himself for company.

That was bad, because his thoughts would stray from him and he would remember something Morrigan wore, the way Urd looked reclining in his home, or something as inconsequential as Tsunade stretching and his blood would start boiling. His breaths coming up short and his clothes would feel too tight. His senses would become so sharp he could single out a blade of grass meters away from him.

But Naruto never gave in. He would mentally beat himself into submission, flinging himself into his training with even more ferocity. For months he battled with this 'affliction,' and after the incident, when he met the Demoness Lust, that had not helped his problem at all.

Kunoichi with powerful bloodlines caught his eye yes, but they never gave him a reason to pause. It seemed like he was attracted to those who carried a greater power. He knew he was onto something because of the various demonic and heavenly signatures that the women gave off that made it such a hard task to contain himself.

Maybe a little more information was needed to further clarify such a deduction. During this three year trip Naruto learned a lot. He knew he was a lot stronger and smarter, but what Naruto prided himself on was his ability to see beneath the underneath at a level Kakashi, Neji and all of the other eyeball-bloodline carriers wished they could.

After the battle against Sasuke in the valley it was like an internal light bulb had been turned on inside him. When he looked at people, there was always a haze of colors surrounding them. At first he feared his eyes were going bad, or Sasuke had placed some kind of hex on him, but even after having his eyes checked, and finding out they were just fine, the problem still continued.

It was vexing. Some people carried an aura that radiated so much peace and contentment it was almost impossible to look at them fully in the face, or approach them without getting a shiver of panic down his spine. Then there were others whose aura's were so black, Naruto felt his very soul would be devoured if he didn't watch his step. For so long he kept quiet, wondering just what was going on.

The first time he knew he was looking at something other than human was one year ago. Both he and Jiraiya were tired of sleeping on the hard dirt and decided to stop being cheap and get a hotel for a couple of days. Walking through one of the many villages they visited during the trip, Naruto really didn't think too much of the people. They ran into so many, most of them angry women chasing after Jiraiya, that they just became a single face in a kaleidoscope of many.

But that ground to a halt when they walked into the hotel they chose. Seated at one of the tables was a female demon. There weren't any black wings or a set of horns adorned on top of her head. She resembled a normal person, in a dress that looked grafted onto her skin, having a normal conversation. He didn't know how long he stood there, but his shock at recognizing the Demoness rooted him to the spot. And when the female demon looked at him, Naruto knew she recognized him.

It had to be on of the most bizarre moments Naruto ever remembered experiencing.

The Demoness never spoke, never approached him or attempted any contact. Just sat in her chair and resumed her previous actions after giving him a saucy wink. After that, the light bulb that had been turned on earlier was now turned into a megawatt headlight. The Kyuubi said that it was just one of the many gifts he would be given by utilizing his power. Naruto didn't know if he would call it a gift. It opened his eyes to something he sometimes thought he would be better off not knowing.

There was a silent war going on in this world. One Heaven and Hell were waging under the cover of regular people and the world as a whole had no idea they were being used.

'Soon, your enemies will outnumber your allies and what then? There are things happening behind the scenes you are not privy to.'

Those were Haku's words the last time he saw him three years ago and it was the honest truth. He had not known, and now that he did, he wondered to what extent were the two realms were controlling everything. There were just too many recent happenings for anything to be a coincidence, but until he found evidence grasping at theories was as futile as looking for a needle in a haystack.

"Now you're daydreaming. Are you ever going to talk to me today?"

Coming out of his internal thoughts, Naruto looked at his new friend. Was she here because of an assignment? Was her meeting him not by chance but programmed circumstance?

Naruto did not want to make a habit out of doubting every person he met. Despite her demonic nature, Morrigan was a prime example of going against the perceived nature of Heavens other half. Naruto really did not believe in either place before his life took the strange turn it did.

"Just thinking about stuff."

B.B. Hood said nothing, realizing her time for teasing him was gone in the face of his seriousness. "Are you okay?"

The small smile on Naruto's face wasn't one of his classics. "Yeah. Just realizing how far I've come in such a short time."

"From what you told me you weren't bad in the first place, merely untrained."

Naruto nodded. "True, but I guess now I have a focus I didn't have before. I feel like I've been living with blinders on my whole life and now I don't know what to do."

"You just do what comes natural to you. Thinking too much makes you second-guess yourself. I prefer to live in the moment."

Naruto really did smile then. "You know what, you're right. Thinking too much is for old fogies and people like Shikamaru." Walking over a giving the girl a quick hug, Naruto pulled back and said, "I'm ready to go now. Let's get home so I can let you meet all my friends."

B.B. Hood kissed him on the cheek, laughing as his face reddened. "You lead the way, sir."

"On to Konoha," the two youths shouted at the same time.


Jiraiya was old. He was approaching his mid fifties and looked rather good for his age, he thought. He was spry, though not as strong as he used to be, he could still wipe the floor with all but a handful people. His literary works were known worldwide by males starving for his knowledge of the carnal arts. He was a celebrity in some parts of the world, and his bank account was quite hefty. He'd seen more naked female flesh than most hot bath's saw in their lifetime.

With all that said, Jiraiya would give it all up if he could just get out of this house. The place was a hormonally unbalanced deathtrap.

"I say we castrate him."

Morrigan watched Jiraiya's face go white in fright. Too bad she wasn't laughing.

Tsunade shook her head. The idea was funny to think, but she wasn't angry enough to resort to such drastic measures yet. "Calm down. The first order of business would be to keep this to ourselves. If anyone finds out Naruto is running around on his own there will be problems. I had to almost literally pull the council's arm in order for them to let him leave on this trip of his."

There were a number of nods around the table agreeing with her decision. "Secondly, we need to wait."

Tsunade stopped anyone from interrupting with a headshake. "I know you want to run off and find him, but can you really do a better job than Jiraiya?. He said he was searching the last few months and that means two possibilities exist. Either he was captured or he really did manage to evade Jiraiya's senses."

"Just how much better did he get? I don't think I believe him capable of evading one of the sannin," Kurenai said, her face in a small frown.

Urd helped her see the one reason why such logic was wrong when regarding Naruto. "It's entirely possible. Naruto is a prankster, and that makes him able to evade even the best trackers. I remember seeing him being hounded by chuunin's, jounin's, and ANBU, and nobody caught him on a regular basis."

"Where would he go though? He hasn't been out the village proper except for a few missions outside the gates."

Reaching over and snagging an apple from the fruit bowl on the table, Urd bit into the fruit and took a swallow after chewing it in thought. "We've told you about Naruto's special circumstances. No doubt he would be a little curious to see the world."

Jiraiya, for once glad that the attention was not focused on him solely, ruminated over the strange mix of women that lived in his student's life. There was a beautiful platinum-haired Goddess, a sultry neon-green-haired Demoness, his former teammate was thirty years younger, as well as stronger and faster than he ever remembered her being in her prime, her black-haired apprentice talked about Naruto like he was her own little brother, and then there was the red-eyed kunochi.

How the hell Naruto ended up blessed with such feminine beauty caring for him Jiraiya didn't know. Maybe he should try that telephone thing. If a hottie like Urd came through for a squirt like Naruto, someone of his mighty stature should get the greatest woman ever given flesh.

It worked in theory that is.

No matter how many fake numbers he dialed he still couldn't get that Goddess Sex Line. Maybe Urd had pulled his leg.

Before he and Naruto left on their training trip, Tsunade had pulled him aside and told him everything. Like any other person told there were real angels and demons running around, he had not believed a word she said. Then the two of them began a magic act that Jiraiya could not begin to explain in known terms.

'Good to know that at fifty plus years old I'm still learning new things,' Jiraiya thought with a slight chuckle.

"Do you think he ran away because of what happened to Jiraiya-sama?" Shizune asked.

Tsunade shrugged her shoulders, "Probably. From what we know the change hasn't happened again or else we would have received word by now. Kind of hard not to notice a rampaging demon tearing through villages." Frowning when a new thought came to her, "I'm sure you have heard the rumors of a hero going around the country and lending aid whenever someone is in need. That could be him."

Morrigan snorted. "Sounds like something he would do."

"I thought that as well. The problem is if it is him, he helps, then takes off before anyone can really get a good description of him. I can say that he's still in the Fire Country."

Urd rolled her eyes. "Great help you've been so far Jiraiya. Why it's like you never lost him in the first place."

"Hey," Jiraiya tried to look genuinely hurt by her comments. "It's not like I did it on purpose. Sometimes it's hard to work when you got a bleeding wound in your stomach the size of someone's head."

Despite his earlier story of him being fatally wounded, Morrigan waved the mention of his away. "It comes with the territory. What is more troubling is Naruto's loss of control. We will need to find a solution for him… quickly," she strongly emphasized.

Shizune tilted her head, wondering at Morrigan's wording. "Wouldn't he just need to practice more self-control? Or since the fourth's seal is weakening won't we just need to reinforce the seal?"

Morrigan shook her head no, drawing interested expressions from everyone present at the table except for Urd who knew of the point she was going to make. "That is a good question but there are some problems with the implied solution. First of all, your Hokage was human. It was an admirable feat he accomplished stopping the Kyuubi, but he had only so much power to draw upon internally and the seal weakening was inevitable. Tsunade, if you would."

With a short nod, Tsunade rolled back the sleeves of her long shirt, taking off the hand guards that were strapped to her wrists to reveal seals on both her right and left hand.

"There are seals on her feet, hands, hips, and the base of her neck. Her Infuin: Kai (Shadow Seal: Release) is normally used to store the power she uses for her various healing techniques, mainly Sozo Saisei (Creation Rebirth), .which uses an abnormal amount of stored chakra to heal her wounds."

"The use of her seal changed when Naruto tried to heal her and ended up infusing her with the Kyuubi's own demonic chakra. Instead of her seal merely resembling a storage tank for chakra, it became a battery if you will. We had no idea what kind of change would occur, but since then it has become apparent that the Kyuubi's chakra has altered her DNA in order to use the power now within her."

"Our own seals were put in place because of the difficulty she was having in controlling the power. We put them on the critical points of her body in order to help control the direction and flow of power when she harnesses it."

Kurenai was able to grasp the concept, silently marveling at what her friends were capable of. "You said something about the Kyuubi's chakra changing her DNA. What are all the changes that took place?"

Tsunade took a deep breath, trying to decide just where to start. "That's a bit complicated to explain, just because we are still trying to figure out everything. I haven't aged since the age reduction. I still look like I did when I turned nineteen. From several blood tests I have found out that my cells are dividing like they are supposed to, carrying out the normal objectives, but my body doesn't show any of the degradation that happens as one should show when growing older."

"Then there are other changes like the strengthening of my bones, increased range of eyesight, tougher skin, greater chakra supply, glossier hair. My hypothesis is that during the time I was unconscious the Kyuubi's chakra swept through my system and made numerous changes to my body. The night of the attack, by the time I woke up, it was morning, and that was several hours later."

"As Morrigan said, the seal on my forehead was created to store any and all chakra I managed to absorb. It was meant to hold a certain amount and bleed off the excess so as not to overtax my body. A battery is a great analogy because that is what it is essentially now. The Kyuubi's chakra is stored there, circulating through my body at different speeds and intervals at all times. I would guess it is a little different than the seal created by the fourth in that it doesn't stop the foreign chakra from circulating through my body."

"I use the seals on my neck and hips as conduits, or circuits to help control the chakra. The feet and hands are the outlets, also used to control the chakra amount. The complexities of the network are a little much to get into, but it took some practice to find a balance. The chakra is extremely susceptible to any form of negative emotion, more specifically anger, rage, hatred and the like. The seals make it a lot easier to handle, but I really don't want to take the chance and find out what happens when I go over the edge."

Jiraiya agreed with her a hundred percent. An angry Tsunade was bad, but a hormonally imbalanced Tsunade with super-duper, freakish strength and speed was a nightmare come true.

"Can you do the same for Naruto?" Kurenai asked.

Urd answered her as she focused on some far away point. "We don't know. Helping Tsunade was easy because even when considering the source of the problem, we only had to contain and work on the chakra itself. Naruto has a totally different problem on a much larger scale. To create a seal strong enough to totally seal the Kyuubi away, it would take an experienced team of Gods and Goddesses. Otherwise the same thing will happen again years from now."

"So there isn't anyway to help him, is there?" Shizune said, the dejected tone of voice noticed by everyone.

"I didn't say that," Urd retorted. "Just at this moment our knowledge is a bit limited. I'm going back to Heaven in a few says to see if I can get any input. I'm sure someone has an answer."

Jiraiya cut in before anyone else could speak. "When are we going to tell him who his family was, more specifically his father?"

"His family?"

Jiraiya looked at Tsunade before turning his attention back to the puzzled Kurenai. "Naruto's father is our own beloved Fourth Hokage. Naruto's mother is a direct descendant of Hattori Hanzo. Their clan has been ruled by the founding family for years. She is the third generations firstborn daughter."

Urd and Morrigan looked around the room, wondering why everyone else seemed so stunned by the news.

"Who is Hattori Hanzo?" Urd asked.

"Hattori Hanzo is considered by some people to be the most powerful shinobi to ever exist. When the villages first began forming and shinobi starting aligning themselves with the Hidden Leaf, Hattori declined joining, opting to create his own village to oversee. Through the years the Hidden Leaf have kept a secretive relationship to the clan, only the highest up in ANBU, the council, and Hokage have knowledge of it. How all this relates to my student, apparently during one of the meetings between Arashi and the Hattori Hanzo the third, his daughter caught the eye of Arashi and after meeting each other the rest, as they say, is history." Shaking his head in exasperation Jiraiya still found it hard to believe. "I had no idea he was even dating someone until the day he told me he was getting married."

"What happened to her?" Shizune asked.

"She died in childbirth," Tsunade answered. "I have the records. Sarutobi kept them hidden in his office. With the secrecy behind the Hattori clan the last thing they wanted was the knowledge that Arashi wed someone from that clan known by everyone."

"Naruto's father is the very same man that sealed the Kyuubi inside him and his mother is from a super-secret clan that no one except a few people knew of. I'm not surprised," Morrigan said, thinking of everything that already happened in the short time-span of his life. "I can also take a guess as to why he wasn't told this. After the attack, with no one to watch over him, Sarutobi thought the safest route was to change Naruto's surname, and remove any information linking him to his dead parents."

"Jiraiya nodded. "It would seem so. Also, with the number of enemies that would do anything to get Naruto off the Leaf's hand, it was the most prudent thing to do."

"Can we go visit this village? To see if Naruto has any remaining relatives left," Urd asked.

Tsnunade looked at the Goddess, perplexed as to why she never thought of that. "That's not a bad idea. It might take a few days to get everything together, but we can make a trip out of it. I need a vacation anyway."

Shizune looked at Tsaunde with not a little concern. "Tsunade-sama, I don't think Hokage's take vacations."

"I don't see why not. This one will."

As the group fell into a lighter tone of conversation, Kurenai looked at her watch and recoiled in shock. "I didn't know it was this late in the afternoon. How long have we been talking?"

Shizune looked up at the clock on the wall. "It's almost four in the afternoon. I better get going."

Urd smirked. "Hot date, Shi-chan?"

Shizune squirmed under the gazes of everyone in the room. "Umm…"

"I hope it's not with that Kakashi bum. My God, what a loser."

The glare Shizune shot Morrigan had enough power to melt paint off the walls of the room. "He is not a bum, or a loser!. He just has some issues he has trouble working through. Nothing time and positive encouragement will not fix."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow in question. "Very astute observation Shizune. Just how did you come upon such an answer?"

Just realizing the slip-up, Shizune could only pout and hang her head.

Morrigan tried to alleviate some of the younger girl's misery. Some, but not all of it. "Don't worry about it. You could have done a lot worse."

Kurenai gave a half-hearted chuckle. "You're not really helping any."

"Wasn't trying to."

Too used to the way things went in the Uzumaki home, Shizune made her goodbyes and headed toward the front door to leave. Putting her shoes back on, she straightened her clothing and reach for the doorknob, only to jerk back when it was shoved open by someone from the outside.

"I'm hooooooooooooooooooooome."

Shizune looked at the intruder, growling when she had to clap her hands over her ears or else suffer from hearing loss.

No doubt about, if the quick glance didn't tell her who it was, then the volume of the voice was enough warning to let her know Naruto was back. Hopefully Kakashi won't think she was ignoring him tonight as her hearing slowly returned.

She saw someone push their way past Naruto and tried to figure out who was the oddly dressed little girl traveling with him.

"Naruto who is your friend?"

As the two walked in, by now everyone present in the house was making their way toward the door, but Morrigan pulled up short when she caught sight of the person standing next to Naruto.

"B.B. Hood? What are you…"

The sweet little girl Naruto had taken so much time to get to know completely disappeared, replaced by a psychotic killer armed with a rocket launcher that looked oddly comfortable on her small shoulders. Naruto could only stare in open-mouthed horror as she pulled the trigger and let the rocket fly point blank into his home.


Sasuke took the small break between another one of his grueling training sessions to think. Despite the hatred festering in his gut, today he was strangely content. He did not think happiness would ever be an emotion he would feel until his brother was killed, and even then, the black stain of loss that so coated his soul would forever prevent him from enjoying his life.

But Sasuke had not left Konoha to be happy. He left to gain a greater power. To train under Orochimaru to reach a level capable of destroying his only remaining family member. And after three years he was faster, stronger, and smarter, all things shinobi strived for in their training.

No one in the Hidden Sound compound was remotely close to his level of power. Only Kabuto and Orochimaru himself could pose any sort of challenge. But that amounted to nothing in the grander picture. His brother destroyed an entire clan of trained ninja, and through the years he had only grown stronger. His greatest power being his use of the Mangekyou Sharingan. To counter such an elite ability Sasuke needed something, a trump card of his own.

Then there was Naruto to consider. Just thinking about his defeat in the valley completely destroyed Sasuke's good mood. Kabuto had told him he lost to the moron, using some claim of Naruto having a power a lot of people were interested in, his brother being one of those people. Sasuke didn't care if Naruto had his own guardian angel, he should not have lost, it was impossible.

Taking a long, drawn out breath, Sasuke continued his walk through the forest. It did not matter now. He would take care of both problems at the same time. Since his brother was after Naruto, tracking one would lead to the other and he would have conquered both goals in one fell swoop.

Continuing his walk, there was something that sounded like giggling coming from somewhere. Curious to see who would be foolish enough to play in a shinobi training field, he trailed after the noise, coming to a field of downed trees.

Running a critical eye around the area, to Sasuke's disbelief it looked like someone had taken a blade and seamlessly cut through the impossibly thick tree bark. No one he knew of in Orochimaru's service had enough skill to use such a technique.

"Then who did this?" he thought aloud.

"I'm sorry, I was just having a little fun."

Hand going to the hilt of his sword Sasuke spun around, Sharingan eyes activated, and prepared a counterattack…

And stopped himself cold.

"Hi, I'm Lilith," the young succubus introduced herself to the young Uchiha while flying on a cloud of bats.


AN: Thanks go to JohnnyG who proofread this piece. As busy as he is he takes time out to read this and Ican't thank him forhis help enough.

I must give a shout-out to Don't Really Care who writes the story 'Shadow Fox.' The story is good, and anytime someone writes a different kind of Naruto it's a pleasing change, but I'm giving him props because of his rants. Man it's hilarious. He goes from the Naru/Hina lovers, to the Saku/Sasu lovers, to self insert fics. No one is safe from his wrath. He even writes his own versions at the end of each chapter. If you got a few minutes of free time check it out. Just don't drink anything while reading.

Got a couple emails concerning Kurenai's fate. Fan's of the vivacious kunoichi. Fear not. I have already written her into a most promising spot. It won't be for some time coming, but she winds up in a very, very nice setting. Can't go too much farther into details but I think a lot of you will love it. As for Shizune and Kakashi. I like it. Nuff said. He's an emotionally crippled, hentai obsesses, super ninja. And she's Tsunade's number one apprentice. I think they'll almost single-handedly make up for the loss of life in Konoha by repopulating the village with their outstanding genes.

This chapter had a lot of new info concerning our characters, two new introductions, and the beginning of Naruto actually getting the girls. All in all I say it went pretty well. The first draft I wrote of this chapter had Lilith following Naruto home and Marller meeting Sasuke, but after I sent it off to be proofed I changed my mind. At this point in time the last thing Naruto needs is another female to worry about, so B.B. Hood took Lilith's place.

You don't know who B.B. Hood is, think Little Red Riding Hood with psychotic tendencies, lives the life of a bounty hunter, and is able to wield enough weaponry to single-handedly run her own black market. Look her up. There isn't anyone like her. Lilith? In a nutshell, she the sealed portion Morrigan's power given life. That's about as far as I'm getting into it, but wikipedia is always a great source of info if you want to know more. The Hattori clan. Hanzo Hattori is the kick-ass shinobi from Samurai Showdown, he also is a real life figure, who apparently kicked ass in real life as well. In the coming chapters more of their family relating to the Naruto world will be told.

Finally, don't expect another update this fast again. I think I was just pumped up about the new act.