Chapter 2 - Madness

The small group chatted loudly amongst themselves. They were all seated at small, round tables that were dwarfed by the dimensions of the vast, cavernous special events hall located within in the Akari Kanzaki Memorial Museum. The museum had in the past few years become a very popular tourist spot in the heart of Sapporo, the Hokkaido prefecture's capitol city. Thousands visited every day from around the world to learn more about the woman.

The backdrop of this room was a towering, awesome, gold statue of about fifty feet in height. It was a sculptor's depiction of Akari, golden bunny ears and all, breaking the finish line to win the Mega Ultra Competition for Earth against the Nerillians. The statue was made by the same sculptor who had crafted the statue of Tomoe Midoh that stood over the long destroyed University Satellite. Many of the guests were taken a back by the uncanny resemblance between the two monuments.

The loud chatting subsided when a man walked onto the stage and in front of the podium He wore a bright, yellow, suit coat with black trim, and sported blonde dyed bangs that protruded from the rest of his dark hair above red-rimmed glasses. This home-town inspired look had never gone out of style in his own mind.

The man spoke into the microphone, "HI!" His voice thundered across the loud speakers followed by a piercing, screeching sound. Everyone seated screamed in unison until the horrendously painful noise ended. Some employees of the museum then ran up to the stage and tampered with the microphone until they were sure it was fixed.

The speaker tapped on the mic a few times and spoke into it to test it. "One, two, one two." Being satisfied, he continued, "Ok, now that we've fixed that technical difficulty, we can begin. I want to welcome you all to the Five Year Mega Ultra Competition Reunion. As you may remember, I'm Kannonji from Big Osaka Broadcasting, the number one viewer's choice in Osaka, whether if it's for sports, news, anime…

"This is not about your Kansai-local programming!" A female voice yelled from the audience. It had emanated from the brown haired and still quite attractive Karashima Yumika who was seated, cross-legged in front of one of the tables towards the back of the group. She was dressed in her white nurse's uniform out of the nostalgia for when she was the group's nurse, although that was still her profession.

"Ummm, well yes." Kannoiji pulled on his collar. "In any case, I was chosen to emcee this prestigious event. I'm glad to report that almost everyone representing the human race at the Mega Ultra Competition was able to make it today. In addition, Ayla Veferascca Garenstein, who could not compete at the Ultra Mega Competition due to pregnancy, has been invited out of popular demand by the other guests of honor." Everyone in the group looked at Ayla and smiled. The silver haired woman smiled back warmly. "Together with her is her former coach since child-hood and later husband, Sergai Garenstein." Everyone in the group then gave him suspicious looks. This caused a large sweat bead to form on the side of his face as he grinned back nervously.

Kannoiji continued, "Also, three individuals who were present at the Mega Ultra Competition were not able to make it today. As punishment for committing the crimes of treason against humanity and chocolate poisoning, Eric Roberts is still performing his life sentence as veterinarian for animals with inexplicably unbelievable health conditions. His treatment of cases of the mysterious Kanzaki syndrome is believed will continue well into his 90's. Secondly, the University Satellite's great, honorable, noble, yet incredibly mysterious former head master, Grant Oldman, is still missing 5 years later. He was last spotted 6 months ago back-stroking inside an active volcano located on one of the Hawaiian Islands. We wish him the best of luck."

Kannoiji's voice suddenly reached a more serious tone, "And lastly, but surely never the least, I'm sure you're all aware Akari Kanzaki is not be with us tonight. That is a great irony since without her; none of us would be here. Our fate would've been transformation into hideous, sports-related creatures and enslavement under the rule of the evil Nerillians if it had not been for her miraculous victory at the event we are commemorating tonight. But beyond being humanity's savior, Akari was a wonderful human being. Her innate kindness, generous nature, and her ability to always improve herself in the face of adversity will always remain an inspiration to us all. Unfortunately as we all know, we lost her far too early to a rare form of heart disease only a few months after the Mega Ultra Competition. Excuse me." The sound of Kannoiji blowing his nose into a handkerchief could be heard over the loud speakers. After he was able to clear the tears and regain his composure he continued," We would like now to have 5 minutes of silence out of respect for Akari Kanzaki."

Everyone gathered remained in complete silence, some with eyes closed. The only words uttered during the entire length of time were by Tomoe. "My baby!" She cried out before she broke down into Daizaemon's arms. Kris and Ichino who were seated at a table near the front simply gripped each other's hands tightly.

Finally, the 5 minutes ended. "Well, I'm sure the thing Akari would've wanted most for us tonight is to have a good time," Kannoiji said his voice lightening up.

He then looked down at his program, "So to get on with tonight's agenda, our first scheduled event is known as Greet Re-Meet. This is the time to say, 'Well there's a friendly face I haven't seen in a long time. What have you been up to since we saved the world through sports from those evil, sports obsessed, mechanoid, alien creatures.' Also please help yourself to the catered banquet and full-service bar, free of charge, no tips necessary." Suddenly cheesy music that was popular 5 years ago could be heard over the speaker system.

A few minutes later, Ichino and Kris returned to their table with two plates piled with gourmet delicacies. They were greeted by Lahrri and Mylandah who sat at their table. The four began talking. Lahrri and Mylandah looked very similar to their physical appearances of 5 years ago. They both had maintained their patented hair styles, Mylandah with her long purple locks, and Lahrri with her aerodynamically sound, stealth-fighter shaped do. The biggest difference Kris and Ichino noted was that both of them seemed far mellower than they had been at the University Satellite. Lahrri also seemed to have lost most of her muscular physique, while Mylandah had not.

"I've been thinking about the bi-fertilization technique, but whenever I bring it up Mylandah changes the subject," Lahrri explained.

"Lahrri!" Mylandah said obviously embarrassed.


"Heh, heh," Ichino laughed nervously.

"Well when ever you two are ready, I highly suggest it. It's a wonderful process." Kris said glowing. The four women continued their conversation for several minutes before Mylandah and Lahrri moved onto to talk to the others.

A very pretty, young woman with green hair was the next to approach the pair.

"Hi Anna," both Kris and Ichino greeted her simultaneously.

"Hi, Ichino. Oh, you look absolutely lovely Kris."

"Thank you."

"How much longer till your due date?"

"A little under 3 months."

"You mean approximately 78 days," Ichino chimed in.

"Yup," Kris nodded approvingly.

"Wow, so soon. I bet you're so excited."

"We are."

"Say this food is amazing Anna, you really outdid yourself," Ichino told her as she bit into a lobster tail.

"I defiantly agree," Kris said in between stuffing her face.

"Oh I'm glad you both like it, but my sister helped with the catering."

"Well, you two are famous now. We'd go to your restaurant in Osaka more often if the waiting list wasn't so long."

"Oh!" Kris gasped. She put down her drum-stick and put a hand on her stomach.

"Is she kicking?" Anna asked.

"Oh, yeah."

"May I?"


Anna pressed a hand against the left side of Kris's belly. It was only a second before she felt a succession of powerful little impacts from the other side. "Wow, she's kicking so much."

"Yup, she gets that from me," Ichino stated proudly.

"Looks like Emiko is getting jealous of the attention," Kris said moving her hand over to the right side. Anna slid her hand over to the right side of Kris's belly to feel the other twin's kicks.

After the two babies' assault on Kris's stomach ended, Anna removed her hand. "So, I'm curious, how did you decide who got to carry the babies?" Anna inquired.

"Oh, that ones easy," Kris said as if the reason was plain as day. "Itchan doesn't have the breasts. I mean, I don't want our babies to starve."

"HaHaHaHaHa!" Ichino let out forced laughter, tinged with anger. "Let it slide, let it slide," she thought to herself as the vein on her fore-head pounded with much force.

Anna blushed, embarrassed at the explanation. That's when a familiar, short, red headed girl in self-torn clothes walked over to them.

"Hi Ichino! Hi Kris! Hi Anna!" Tanya greeted the girls in succession.

"Hi, Tanya!" Kris, Ichino, and Anna all greeted her simultaneously.

"Long time, no see Tanya," Ichino added.

Tanya then looked at Kris surprised. "Kris pregnant. Who's the father?" She asked.

"Oh, there's no father. Me and Itchan are both mothers," Kris explained.

Tanya studied both her and Ichino for a few seconds. "Nyah, but only Kris has big belly."

"No, I'm the only one who's carrying the babies, but they're our children. We're having them together." Kris grabbed the arm of Ichino's chair and pulled it towards her, scrapping the legs against the floor. She then wrapped her arm around Ichino's shoulders to demonstrate the relationship. Ichino just smiled stupidly.

Tanya still looked perplexed.

"Just forget it. She doesn't understand," Ichino told her.

"I can explain it to her."

"It won't do any good."

"Its ok, I can make her understand."

"I'm telling you…."

"So I need your permission to talk now, huh?" Kris said in all too familiar tone.

"Umm… no, of course not," Ichino said nervously, quickly changing her mind on the matter. "Go right ahead, dear."

Kris then went into a long, thorough explanation of the bi-fertilization technique they had used. Kris, not wanting to miss any details, did not spare any of the graphic terms or explanations of bodily functions. Tanya appeared to be listening intently to all of it. Also listening to the entire spiel was Anna, whose cheeks were reaching ever brighter shades of crimson.

"Ugh," Ichino mumbled. She put her hand on her forehead, covering her eyes, wishing she was a million miles away as Kris yapped on endlessly about her and Ichino's female parts.

Finally, after ten minutes Kris's biology lesson concluded. "… and that's how Itchan impregnated me! Isn't it wonderful?" She exclaimed excitedly, swooning with clasped hands and starry eyes.

Tanya turned to Ichino and quirked an eye-brow, "Ichino, are you a man?"

"Call me a man WILL YA!" Ichino screamed as she jumped out of her chair.

"NYAH!" Tanya sped off on all fours like a cheetah as Ichino pursued her with a raised fist.

"Tanya scared!"

"Oh, I'll make you scared, ALLRIGHT!"

They whizzed past Kannonji who was trying to make conversation with Karashima.

"Soooo, it's been five years now. That must make you 32, am I right?" Karashima's drink splashed against his face. "Thanks, I needed a drink," he said as her punch dripped off his face and glasses.

Ichino and Tanya finally walked back to the life of the party a few minutes later. Ichino looked somewhat refreshed, and Tanya hobbled back now having sizeable bumps on different locations on her head. "Now what am I?"

"Ichino is a young, beautiful, feminine lady!"

"That's RIGHT!"

Ichino then left Tanya and walked over to the bar to get something containing alcohol where she was greeted by a familiar blonde. Ichino and Jessie began discussing a number of different topics including work and how well Jessie's adopted daughter, Loretta, was doing in track and soccer.

Eventually the conversation changed to how much or how little everyone present had changed over the past five years. One person though remained a question mark. "I can't help thinking though that someone else is missing," Jessie explained as she leaned against the bar.

"I think I know exactly who you're talking about."

"You think she'll show up?"

"God knows she'll try."

Kannonji's voice sounded over the speakers again. His yellow suit was now accented by a very large, red, punch stain. "Ok, now for tonight's next event, the sloooooow dance. In this time honored event, participants must find that special someone to hunker down the dance floor for some close, personal dancing action." The lights in the room dimmed, and the music changed to a slower fare to follow suit.

Ichino walked from the bar back to over where Kris was. She was sitting with Ayla, who had been giving her parenting tips. "Excuse me miss, may I have this dance?"

Kris smiled back. "Actually, I was hoping Anna would ask me," she teased.

"Oh, really? I thought I was the one who was supposed to marry her. Remember?" Ichino gripped Kris's hands and helped her up.

"Yeah, I do, but I'm so glad you didn't." Ichino guided her by the hand onto the edge of dance floor. Ichino could barely get her arms around Kris's sides. However, Kris easily draped her long arms over the much shorter girl's shoulders. They started moving back and forth in sequence to the music.

Soon they were joined by the others. Mylandah danced with Lahrri, Ayla with Sergai, Jessie with her husband Alfred, Tomoe with Daizaemon, and Karashima danced very reluctantly with Kannoiji. In the center of it all was Tanya, who having recovered from her injuries was dancing her own strange dance. She moved in a small, continuous circle to some rhythm that existed in her head, completely oblivious to western tradition.

Only one person was alone on the side-lines. "There's no one left for me to dance with," Anna said to herself, almost traumatized to tears.

"Hey watch where you're going," Mylandah said annoyed after Tomoe's butt had made hard contact with her thigh.

"Maybe you should watch where you're going," Tomoe smarted off.

"What did you say?" Mylandah asked her anger mounting.

"Mylandah, calm down," Lahrri told her.

"Yeah, you heard me. You have two left feet."

"You bumped into ME!"

"No, you bumped into me, scary chick!"

"No one calls me SCARY!" The violet haired woman's expression was becoming more and more frightening. Her red eyes burned with hatred.

"Just let it go, Mylandah," Lahrri said tugging on her shoulder.

"Yeah, listen to you're stealth boy-friend."

"What did you CALL ME?" Lahrri shouted.

"I'll rip her THROAT OUT!"

Daizaemon stepped in between Tomoe and the two women the second before it came to fisticuffs, "Ladies, ladies, we apologize. Tomoe is just… inebriated at the moment."

"I am nothhhhh!" In reality she had downed about half the bar minutes earlier.

"Here Tomoe, I think we should go sit down," Daizaemon said as he attempted to guide her by the arm off the dance floor. His hand was jerked back as Tomoe refused to move an inch.

"But Daaiiiisy, I still wannna dance," Tomoe whined pathetically.

Daizaemon, who always wore a solemn appearance in public, was now quite visibly embarrassed as a number of people gawked at the couple. "Come on, Tomoe, I can get you something to eat."

"I already ate! I want to dance!"

"Come on, Tomoe."

"I SAID I WANT TO DANCE!" A darkly, demonic expression washed over Tomoe's face. Ichino, with knowledge well engrained from experience, guided Kris to safety a far distance off the dance floor and through the door out of the special events hall.

Tomoe yanked in Daizaemon with the strength of a bull and clamped his other hand. She then started jerking him back and forth violently to emulate dancing. Daizaemon still tried to resist, but her grip was merciless. He was yanked back and forth like a rag-doll, as Tomoe stamped her feet up and down like a crazed elephant.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Tomoe had started twirling her body around in a circle, not letting go of Daizaemon. His legs left the ground as he started flying around her in orbit. Jessie and Alfred dived to the ground, just avoiding decapitation. The human tornado kept spinning around in random directions. Tables were violently knocked over and chairs flew into the air over as people franticly ran out of the way. It then met the banquet tables, and all of the catering was destroyed as it flew all over the place.

"My food!" Anna cried out as tears ran down her cheeks.

Finally, Tomoe lost her footing and slipped as she let go of Daizaemon's hands. The middle-aged man sailed through the air like a torpedo until he collided with the wall a hundred feet away with a loud thud. His battered body slid down the wall and slumped to the ground.

Karashima ran up to Daizaemon and examined him. "It's ok. It's only a minor concussion. With rest and lots of chocolate he should recover," she announced.

Before Tomoe could get herself off the ground, Kannoiji rushed to the stage and grabbed the microphone, "And that completes the dancing segment of tonight's events. Up next is ummmmm…" He started flipping though the pages of his program until he found something that sounded relatively safer, "An ancient sport practiced during a time before the Great Fall. Lost for over two thousand years, it was only recently rediscovered by archaeologists. Something our ancestors referred to as Limbo." Some museum employees brought in the limbo stick and stands and set them up in the middle of the dance floor.

Ichino peaked her head around the corner of the door way. After inspecting the scene of utter destruction left in the wake of drunken Tomoe, she motioned to Kris that it was safe to return to the room. They walked back inside. Ichino and Kris glanced at the huge mess of wasted gourmet dining mournfully. Ichino suddenly spotted a weird looking shape that was draped under the fallen table cloth of one of the destroyed catering tables. She walked over to it and pulled it off. "What the hell is this?" Everyone looked at the large object that had been hidden underneath. It was metal cylinder of about 2 feet in diameter and 12 feet in length that ended with a pointed tip. It was undoubtedly a missile.

"HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!" A voice from the background laughed maniacally.

"That voice!" Ichino said as she turned around to face the one emitting the mad laughter.

To Be Continued

Next Chapter Preview: This party turned out to be the bomb quite literally, but who is behind this nefarious plot and what motivation could they possibly have? Find out in the next shocking installment.