Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own any of this except the plot and my words. This is my first Supernatural fic, as I just started watching-please let me know what you think.
Every step Sam took, he thought about turning back. The car remained idling, and Sam could imagine Dean in the driver's seat, expecting him to come back.
But Sam couldn't, not after what had just happened. It had started out innocently enough, him and Dean laughing while throwing around insults at each other, like they'd always done.
But Sam had jokingly called Dean pathetic, and suddenly Dean's voice had filled with hurt and anger as he had ordered Sam out of the car.
Sam had sat there in stunned silence until Dean, as if to prove he meant what he said, had gotten out to open up the passenger side door. And it was then Sam had made the connection, had understood what was going on.
The last time he had called Dean pathetic was at the asylum, when Sam had shot his big brother with rock salt and had tried to fill him with bullets. They had never talked about that night, though Sam had tried to.
So now it had come to this, and the guilt filling Sam propelled him out of the car and down the road. Sam knew if he turned around, Dean would open the car door and allow him back in.
Sam kept walking though, not feeling like he deserved to be let back in. Everything Dean was silently accusing him of, Sam knew he had done.
Sam didn't know how long he walked for, but he did know he never heard the car drive away. Eventually he entered a small diner, where he settled onto a stool, nursing a cup of coffee. A policeman perched next to him, offering him a tired nod.
The late night silence was suddenly broken by the policeman's radio going off. "Attention all units, a car has gone over on High Bridge. Young male is in the water. Need recovery teams."
Sam's mug spun to the floor, cheap china and coffee scattering on the tile. Turning his horror-filled eyes on the policeman, Sam grabbed his shoulder with a trembling hand. "My…my brother…on the bridge…"
Nodding in understanding, the policeman ushered Sam out of the diner and into his car. "What can you tell me?" the policeman asked as he drove along the back roads.
"We…" Sam took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. "We had a fight, I got out and walked to the diner. I…I left him there. Alone." Tears began to spill from Sam's eyes, and he ran his hands over his face.
"How bad was the fight?" the cop asked as tactfully as possible. Sam stared at him for a moment, then couldn't stop a pained gasp escaping his lips as gasped the full meaning of the policeman's words.
"Not bad enough to make him drive off a bridge, if that's what you're implying," Sam snapped. Bu the minute the words were out, Sam doubted them. If he had been in the same position…if Dean had gone off on him for leaving him for college…if Dean had pointed a gun at Sam and pulled the trigger…if Dean had then abandoned Sam…Sam didn't know what he would do.
They pulled up to a crime scene, lights flashing, yellow tape everywhere. Sam leapt out of the car, dashing under the tape to stare in horror at the murky water below. He couldn't see the car, but he could see the rescue divers coming up empty-handed.
Sam's foot hit something by the bridge's edge. Bending down, his hand closed on something small and rectangular. Raising his hand to the light, Sam let out an anguished sob. In his hand was a Led Zepplin cassette, completely cracked, the tape thread barely hanging on.
Clutching the cassette in his hand, Sam stripped off his jacket and climbed onto the partially intact railing of the bridge. A voice came from behind him. "I'm looking for my brother, Sam. Have you seen him?"
Sam shifted his body weight and turned around, hardly daring to hope. Dean was standing on solid ground, talking to the policeman who had brought Sam, showing him a picture of Sam from his wallet. The policeman pointed a finger to Sam crouched on the bridge's railing.
"Sammy, what are you doing up there?" Dean asked. Sam jumped onto the ground and strode over to Dean. "What's going on-"
Dean was cut off by Sam pulling him into a tight hug, burying his tearful face in his older brother's shoulder. "I thought…" Sam let the thought trail off, not wanting to say out loud the nightmares that had been running through his head.
"You thought what?" Dean asked in confusion. Then his eyes widened as he took in the missing part of the bridge railing. Stepping over to the railing, Dean leaned heavily on it, looking over at the rescue divers below. "You thought I went over?"
Wordlessly, Sam walked over to the railing and opened his fist, revealing the broken cassette. "So that's where that went," Dean said softly. "It must have fallen out of the car." He stared out at the water. "You were gonna jump?"
"I was going to find you." Sam turned his gaze from the murky water to his brother's face.
"You could have died." Dean still wouldn't meet his brother's eyes.
"I told you I would die for you." Dean in a sharp breath, and Sam could see the tears he was trying to hide. "Dan, I also told you how sorry I am about what happened at the asylum. I don't think you're pathetic and I don't hate you." Sam tentatively put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I know no chick flick moments…but I love you, ok?"
Dean finally turned towards Sam, and smiled as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "Ok, I guess one chick flick moment is acceptable," Dean said, and in one comforting movement he wrapped his brother in a hug. "I love you too." Then, with a laugh, Dean opened the passenger side door of the car, their car. "Now get your ass in the car, Sammy. Or…did you really want me to call you Sam?"
Sam heard the tentative plea behind his brother's words, and knew he had broken Dean's heart enough for a million lifetimes. "No, you can call me Sammy…only you Dean." Sam put an emphasis on the last three words, hoping Dean would understand.
Dean smiled, and climbed in the driver's seat. Sam followed him into the car. "Ok Sammy, let's go," Dean said as he slipped in another Led Zepplin tape.