Another challenge response. This time the challenger was Azurite; and the challenge was a Seto/Téa ficlet titled "Clean" using the line, "Give me back my panties, Kaiba. Don't make me hurt you."

Warning: Blatant sexual innuendo.


by Kysra

"So, I told him, 'Give me back my panties, Kaiba. Don't make me hurt you.'"

"And how, exactly, did he get your panties in the first place?"

"They were in his dryer. He was looking for a certain trenchcoat. Do the math."

"All of that because you slipped in a deep mud puddle, and little Kaiba's a sweetie."

"Unlike his brother."

"Did he give you your panties back? Or did you hurt him as promised?"

"No to both. He told me that if I wanted them, I'd have to take them back. He ran. I pursued and tripped over a kink in the rug."

"I take it that's how you broke your arm."

"Yep. I must have fallen on it wrong or something; but to give him credit where it's due, Kaiba drove me to the after-hours emergency clinic himself and had his personal physician meet us there."

"Ah, that was almost nice of him. Maybe he didn't want you to slap him with a lawsuit."

"I would have sued him for my panties before suing him for one cracked metacarpal."

"Did you have your panties back by then? Or did you have to see the doctor . . . exposed?"

"Why do you keep going back to the panties?"

"Because I find it amusing."

A sigh, "No. I did not get my panties back by then. We argued about it the whole time the doctor was away developing the x-rays."


"And what?"

"For goodness sake, Téa! Getting this story is like extracting teeth!"

"I'm trying to find a way to keep it clean."



" . . . So . . am I to infer that all is not innocent in this little adventure of yours?"

"If it were totally innocent, would I be talking to you about it?"

"What happened? Do NOT leave out a single detail!"

"I'll tell you what happened, but I am not giving details."

"I can live with that. So spill!"

"At the end of the argument, I made a mistake and told him I'd do anything to get those panties back. He asked me what I could possibly have that he would want."

There was much chuckling, "I could just imagine. What did you say to that?"

"The first thing that popped into my head."

"And that was?"

"A vagina."

Total silence.

"You didn't."

"I can assure you, I certainly did."

"And he gave you your panties back then?"

"No. He took me up on my 'offer.'"

"Oh my God!"

"That's exactly what I said. Multiple times. And do you know, Mai, that jerk still hasn't given me my panties back."

The smirk would not be hidden, "Maybe he's saving them as a souvenir."

"Gives new meaning to the euphemism 'doing the laundry,' doesn't it?"

"So, I have to know, do you think he's keeping it clean?"