Of course I own Naruto! I'm writing fanfiction on the internet now instead of drawing manga. -.- Seriously folks, we shouldn't have to write disclaimers.

Chapter 1: Icha Icha Lostu!

Kakashi growled, upturning the pillows on the bed, then ripping the covers back to view the mattress. Slightly stained here and there, but other than that, not what he was searching for.

In the kitchen, after being diligently searched, Kakashi had only managed to find Iruka's hiding places. This was not his original intent for the search, but the hidey holes would not be overlooked next Christmas.

The couch was his next best bet, so with a quick upheaval of all pillows and cushions, Kakashi scanned the underneath. Nothing. Ah, look underneath the underneath! He crouched down, then leaned forward onto his hands and knees to look beneath the couch this time. Alas, poor Icha Icha Paridisu was not there.



Iruka looked around the tidy classroom with a firm jaw and a slow sigh. He'd spent all morning locked in his personal classroom, industriously cleaning every corner of the room. There wasn't a spot he had missed, and he was sure of that.

A short consideration concluded though, that his students definitely would not appreciate the gagging lemony fresh smell that had intoxicated the entire room. After a short fight with the hinges, the sunny teacher threw the window open to breath in some fresh air from outside. He leaned out the window completely, the soft and cool morning breeze coming from the north was chilly yet predicted bright and happy weather later on. He would have to bring the kids outside for strength training today, for it was just too good a day to pass up!

"Iruugaaaa-senseeeeeeeiii!" A little girl wailed from across the campus' grassy nulls. She was running full speed, but considering her size the event took longer than the usual full speed.

"Meera-chan! Are you alright?" Iruka asked, hesitating on the example he would be showing if he climbed out the window, but did so anyway.

"Sanyu-kun and Yon-kun are chasing me!" she dashed around behind Iruka.

He looked forward over the grassy nulls, seeing no one. "I think you lost them, Meera-chan." he cocked an eyebrow, wondering if she was playing a pretend game and that is why he did not see anyone.

"Mm?" she stepped out from around him curiously. "They were chasing me..." she insisted, looking around for any hiding places they could be utilizing.

Iruka curled his lips in, hands on his hips. "I don't see... oh." he stared at the approaching figure, the shock of white hair stiffly pointing in the way the wind was blowing, which happened to be the way it always leaned. Raised above the ground in each hand were two little boys, each protesting their entrapment by swinging bony little legs in the direction of their assailant.

"Yo." Kakashi grunted. "I found them throwing rocks at some little kid. Hm. That little kid." he motioned to Meera, now behind Iruka again.

Iruka took his students from Kakashi with a weary eye. "Come on you two, stop bothering your sister and go get your packs, class starts in three minutes. Run and I won't mark you tardy." he threatened. They turned and dashed away without another word, eyes still huge as they avoided Kakashi at all cost.

"You, too Meera. If your late to your class, come and tell me, alright? I will tell your teacher that you were being chased." he patted her head lightly before she backed away slowly, eyes plastered to Kakashi's threatening face. "Run, Meera!" Iruka booted her slightly, getting the little girl to snap to attention and run back over the little hills.

Kakashi watched them go, waiting, then he looked back to Iruka with a more serious gaze. "Where is it? Did you hide it?" he hissed, stepping close to Iruka's chest with squinted eyes.

"Ah!" The chuunin was taken aback by such a forward. "What are you talking about, Kakashi!" he put his hands on the interrogator's chest in a small attempt to hold him back.

"Where is Icha Icha Paridise volume 11?" he quested vehemently. "I can't. Find it. I looked everywhere." he insisted, eyes going frightened at this. "Please tell me you took it and I didn't lose it." he latched onto Iruka's vest threatening, pressing in further. There was hope if Iruka had taken it and hid it, but if it was lost somewhere out in Konoha, or even outside of Konoha, there would be no way to find it.

Iruka pushed the jounin back forcefully. "Get ahold of yourself! You're freaking out!" Iruka hissed the words as if they were taboo. "Calm down, can't you just buy another one?" he looked behind him as students began milling into the classroom early to set their books down and finish their homework within the two minutes they had left.

"No! This one was special!" Kakashi insisted, head finally lolling forward to thump onto Iruka's shoulder. "I've never lost an Icha Icha."

Iruka restrained the urge to stand the man up and smack him violently across the head. "Get. A. Hold. Of. Your. Self." he demanded, standing the forlorn puppy up to look into the sad eye. "Give me a break! It's probably around the house somewhere or on the training grounds where you left it."

The bell cut off his next sentence, Kakashi and Iruka both wincing as they were standing directly under the alarm. "I have to go teach now. Why don't you retrace your steps from yesterday, alright? You had it at lunch when we had Ramen, so go from there. Just... never mind." he rolled his eyes and climbed back in through the window.

Kakashi watched him go, heart wrenching before he turned away and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Saa… it gets better, don't worry. Chappy 2 up in a few days. (shakes fist at AP essay)