Title: Raw, medium or well done?

Rating: K

Disclaimer: They all belong to Prof. Tolkien, I make no money with this story.

Summery: Legolas and Aragorn are special guests at a dinner party.

A/N: Written for the fourth MC Challenge with the theme "Cooking". This story was inspired by a conversation with Ithilgael and then further inspired by the movie TTT.

Limit: 1000 words.


The stars were veiled, the moon hidden behind heavy grey clouds. No light shone one the earth and the only glow that illuminated the clearing came from the merrily burning fire that the orcs had built. Red and orange sparks flew high into the sky when the wind caught in the flames and the warmth of the fire had melted the thick snow surrounding it.

The day had started pleasantly for Legolas and Aragorn, but with the coming of dusk, things had changed. Pressed to avoid the snowstorm that threatened to break over them, they took the longer route back to Imladris after their hunting trip…running straight into a band of hunting orcs.

The fight had been a fierce one, but they had been heavily outnumbered. The orcs had bound and dragged them to their camp, eager to have a little fun and to fill their own starved stomachs. Dumping the friends at the edge of the clearing, the foul beast had begun to prepare the cooking. That had been two hours ago.

Since then, the storm the two friends had been trying to avoid had reached the campsite, the clouds releasing their load and sending heavy white snowflakes to the ground, covering everything with a blanket of innocent pureness.

Bending his blond haired head and shifting on the snow, Legolas gazed at his human companion. The orcs had not been gentle with them, but Aragorn´s vehement resistance, combined with an assortment of dwarven battle curses had not amused the beasts and only after a heavy blow to his head had the man relented.

Aragorn´s eyes were still closed, the breathing laboured. Blood was trickling down his face and dripping onto the snow, painting the white substance a crimson red, but the archer mused that his friend would be all right once they escaped and were back in the homely halls of Imladris.

And, Legolas mused, he was probably not looking better himself. During the fight, an orc had managed to get under his defence, which had resulted in the orc´s beheading and a deep gash on the prince's forearm. Due to his fast elven healing abilities the cut had already began to close and the blood flow had stopped half an hour ago. Otherwise, Legolas was unscathed, for which he was very thankful.

Leaning in closer, he whispered, "Strider? Can you hear me?"

The human furrowed his brow and shifted uncomfortable in his bonds before grumbling, "Yes, no need to yell into my ear, Legolas."

Concerned, the elf wondered whether his friend had sustained a severe concussion to feel the hushed elven whisper as a loud yell. He shifted closer, "Please, Strider, open your eyes and look at me."

Slightly unfocused grey orbs settled on Legolas´ face and the prince exhaled relieved. The human was suffering from a concussion, but it seemed it was a minor one. When they tried to flee, he would have no problems. And fleeing they would, there was no discussion about that.

Suddenly, raised voices floated to the two prone figures. The orcs were arguing in their black speech, howling and raging, loud enough to even wake the hibernating creatures. Cringing, Aragorn spoke softly, so as not to draw their captors´ attention, "What are they debating about? How to best eat us?"

It was meant was a joke, but Legolas, who had been able to understand a few words of the foul beasts, nodded gravely, "Exactly. The tall black one wants to eat us raw, but the huge hairy one wants to roast us first. The small group to the right opts for stuffing us with rabbits and them hang our bodies over the fire to smoke us. But my favourite, Estel," the elf smirked and glanced at his companion, "is the opinion of the tiny brown one. He wants to cover us in honey, wake a bear, let the bear eat us, then kill the animal and eat it. He swears that our meat would get soft and tasty and that the honey would hinder the bear from digesting us."

The human stared at the prince wide eyed. "You're joking."

"No, mellon nin. I´m not."

Gulping, Estel directed his gaze at the fighting orcs. They needed to get out of this mess. Quickly. Before the orcs settled their argument.

The snow was still falling thickly and with the failing light, it was getting colder and darker. Soon, the man was shivering slightly. Snow was covering his form, his legs and upper body already covered, only his head and shoulders still visible.

Gazing at his friend with mounting worry, the elf suddenly gasped. "Estel, stay still. Do not move!"

"Why not, mellon? Do you want me to freeze to death? Could be better than being eaten, but…"

"No Estel, I have a plan."

Seeing the sparkle in the blue eyes of the prince, the ranger relented, trusting the archer with his very life. Aragorn stopped moving and soon the first snowflakes had gathered in his hair and facial stubble.

Smiling encouragingly, Legolas laid down as well, as still as possible. Then, they waited.

The still hidden moon rose high into the night sky, and just before dawn, the orcs had finally settled their argument. It had come down to the largest orc killing the others in a fit of rage and hunger. Legolas and Estel were going to be eaten raw.

Heavy feat stamped through the knee deep snow to the edge of the clearing. Then: "Arg, where is our meal?" The voice became angrier with the second and soon a second voice could be heard, "They must have escaped! Our meal escaped!" The hungry orcs took up their weapons and soon the heavy feet had vanished into the forest, eager to recapture their dinner.

Stillness settled, then the snow at the edge of the clearing moved. A figure burst from the snow, shaking its blond tresses free from the white substance. Legolas looked around the now empty campsite, then nudged his friend gently with his boot.

Aragorn sat up as well and an unbelieving look crossed his face. "I can't believe that worked. How thick can one be?"

Grinning wider, the elf made his way to the fire and soon his bonds had fallen victim to the glowing embers. Freeing the man as well, the two friends left the campsite, leaving no visible trail behind.

Once far enough away to feel save, Legolas smiled at his friend sweetly, "You know what Estel? All that talk about dinner has made me hungry. I could eat a bear now."

The only answer he got was groan and a snowball that sailed past his head.

The End.