A/N: I haven't written much on FanFic, but I got inspired the other night by, of all things, one of my little sister's favorite novels. Therefore, I bring you all "Oh Really Miss Brainiac?"-- A lovely tale of Lily Evans and the very annoying and interfering James Potter. At any rate, please R&R if you are so inclined to do so.

Disclaimer: Most assuredly not mine.

Chapter 1: A Lesson In Etiquette


Lily turned her head at the sound of her name being called down the hall at her. Wall sconces flickered with yellow light along the cold stone corridor; strange shadows were cast on the walls. Lily could only just make out person calling to her in the hallway… and she doubted that he could see her any better. Lily felt a blush creep up her neck and wash over her cheeks.

Well, of course Lily Evans would blush. How could she not? Besides the fact that she was a full-blown redhead, and quite prone to having her face light up in a rouge more suitable for the filling of a fruit pie, the sight of the tall, chestnut-haired quidditch player always made Lily's face warm up—not to mention that odd increase of her heart beat. What girl wouldn't blush when he was around?

Lily stood quite still as her fellow sixth-year, Amos Diggory started down the hallway toward her, his visage awash with jumping yellow light from the wall sconces. She could not quite believe that Amos had finally caught up with her after a full two years of flirting shamelessly with her in every class they had together. Indeed, Amos was now striding quite purposefully down the hall Lily had been patrolling all night long, and a thought glanced through Lily's head that shouldn't Amos, a fellow prefect, be patrolling his own section of the castle this evening?

"Evening, Amos," Lily said quietly and demurely when Amos had finally reached her.

"All right tonight, Lily?" Amos asked seductively, cleverly moving towards one of the shadow-filled wall niches. "I've been hoping to run into you all evening, y' know."

Lily doubted that it would be very romantic for her to start reprimanding Amos Diggory for leaving his patrolling post to go search the castle for her, so she pushed down the feelings of rule-abidingness and looked up at the tall youth with purposefully wide and innocent eyes.

" Well, you certainly know how to find what you are looking for. But you've always been quite good at seeking, haven't you? I do hope nothing is the matter, Amos…." Lily murmured at the Ravenclaw quidditch-team's captain and very talented seeker.

Good grief, Lily thought to herself, somewhat ashamed of the seductively flirty tone her voice had suddenly adopted. Her little speech was quite out of the ordinary for her, and she knew that there were those who would make retching sounds had they heard her.

Fortunately for Lily, Amos Diggory, prefect, quidditch captain and seeker, and all around sex-god, did not seem to mind her dialogue. Instead, he adopted a look of lustful admiration at the implications of her vocalizations and looked down at her wide face.

"Yes, when it comes to the things that one wants… I suppose I am quite lucky in seeking them out," Amos said in that same seductive voice. "And how could anything be the matter when I'm standing here?"

Lily felt like bursting out in peals of delighted laughter. Why, Amos Diggory looked ready to sweep Lily into his arms with unrequited passion! How wonderfully fantastic. Lily could feel her face burning now, and she was quite sure even her pale freckled arms were blushing.

"Amos, I can't imagine what you mean…" Lily said, shifting a bit so that her hair caught as much light as was possible from the surrounding torches, making it positively glow with bright red and golden-brown highlights.

"Oh no?" Amos wrapped one of his arms around Lily and pulled her a bit closer to him within the dark wall cubby. "My dear Lily-flower… I hope you don't mind if I call you 'Lily-flower'?"

Amos Diggory could have called Lily banana-skins and she wouldn't have minded at all! Lily felt those same peals of delighted laughter bubble up inside of her and watched Amos expectantly. Well look at that, Lily thought to herself, I do believe Amos is about to ask me out!

Which was precisely what Amos Diggory then did.

"Beautiful Lily-flower," Amos said, drawing quite a large breath for such a question, "you as well as I know that we have been dancing around each other for quite sometimes this year… and each time we come closer and closer to what can only be called Fate. I have never met anyone quite as pretty or intelligent as you Lily…"

Here Amos trailed off to gather another large breath of air. Lily wondered fleetingly if Amos was nervous behind that perfectly calm façade or if he was just asthmatic. Surely it was neither, for Amos Diggory was quite perfect in every conceivable way. Oh, the sighs of awe and appreciation that sounded around the quidditch pitch during a Ravenclaw practice when half of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry's female population went out to watch the very talented captain! Why it was like a large gale was blowing around!

Lily could just imaging the looks of envy she would get when those same females discovered that Lily had been in a darkened corner of the castle with the one and only Amos Diggory.

"Lily-flower," Amos continued after sufficiently filling his romantically inclined self with oxygen, "could you ever find it within yourself to… deign to go out on a date with this wastrel of a wizard?"

Lily smiled up into the pleading and quite handsome face of Amos Diggory and said in the most serious of voices, "Oh, Amos, why I…"

But here she stopped, for suddenly, in Amos and Lily's very private little wall niche, came another all-too-familiar voice, dripping, as usual, with sarcasm.

"Finally, Evans," James Potter drawled as he stood looking into the cubby hole where Amos and Lily stood, "I've been looking for you everywhere. The Head Girl is looking for you; she says she needs to know about—Well, well… I do hope I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

Lily moved quickly out from under the arm of Amos and glared at James Potter. "Certainly not, Potter" she said angrily.

Dash it all! Lily thought to herself. It was just like Potter to show up in the middle of such a delightful and romantic moment with Amos Diggory. He was always around when it was least convenient, especially when Lily was around Amos or another admiring male student.

It most certainly was not as if James Potter made good company. Quite the opposite, actually—James Potter was really one of the most tiresome young men that Lily Evans ever had the displeasure of knowing. Why, there was nothing more infuriating than Potter's habit of ruffling his raven black hair so that it looked as if he had pressed his hands against one of the lightning balls in Headmaster Albus Dumbledore's office.

And he was exceedingly arrogant, always thinking he knew what was best when it came to Lily Evans, his fellow sixth-year Gryffindor. James Potter was always bugging her about everything, especially her tendency to worry about her schoolwork, calling her "Miss Brainiac", and had taken to sitting in front of her at breakfast times to do his homework, showing off his mastery of procrastination. He was the most infuriatingly egotistical, haughty, puffed-up student at Hogwarts!

Happily, Amos Diggory did not seem to have a much better opinion of James Potter, and so, wrapping his arm round Lily's shoulder's once more, said coldly, "Actually, Potter, you are interrupting."

"So sorry," Potter said, not sounding apologetic or regretful for interrupting in the least. "But really, the Head Girl has been asking around for Evans."

"Well you can tell the Head Girl that I will see her as soon as my patrol is over," said Lily, brushing some of her hair away from her face in what she hoped was a very dismissive attitude. With any luck, Potter would gain some sense and realize that he had no business barging in on her and Amos's very private moment….

Alas, that was not to be, for James Potter shifted his stern hazel eyes away from a glaring Amos Diggory and onto Lily's face, and said in a tone that sounded not unlike some of the more strict professors at Hogwarts, "No, I think that you had better go now, Evans."

Lily felt her face heat up once more; this time, however, it was not from pleasure, but from outrage. How dare Potter boss her around like this? James Potter, with his impudent ways, cheeky attitude, and too-bright eyes that saw more than was good for them, needed a lesson in behavior. He ought to know by now that a young man who purposefully mussed-up his hair and teased scholarly inclined young women would never earn any respect nor affection of anyone… most certainly not from said young women.

And Lily Evans knew just who would teach James Potter that lesson.

In view of that, Lily turned to look up at Amos and, smiling sweetly, said, "Amos, I would be delighted to go out with you."

The look of shock that flashed over James Potter's face at that moment quite made up for Lily and Amos being interrupted so rudely by him. Lily felt like patting herself on the back.

Well done, Lily Evans thought proudly, well done indeed!