Disclaimer: I do not own Rayearth. I just play with Clamp's world every now and then. Rayearth totally needs more love 3
This is an anime-based fic and there are spoilers for season 2. The opening dialogue is from episode 49.
Even If It's No Use
"Even if you know it is of no use?"
Alcyone stood there, a probing gaze upon her. She returned the same steady gaze as best as she was able.
The other woman's eyes seemed to be posing an unspoken question to her, despite her statement that she would do whatever was necessary to remain at his side.
She continued, "Even if it's no use…for the sake of the one you love…" she trailed off.
But Sierra understood exactly what she was asking.
Behind that one simple question, in her dark eyes lay other questions, different shades of meaning to those simple spoken words, "You'll follow him even if you meet the same fate as I? Even if you have to carry the same hurt?...even ultimately knowing that it makes no difference…? Just how far are you willing you follow him?"
Alcyone knew the answers to these questions. These were her own hard-won truths.
Is that how much I love him? Sierra could only ask herself…to be willing to sacrifice all that this pitiful, diminished woman had, who, even though the man she had loved was dead, remained grasping at the shattered pieces of his heart…Grasping at them, and never gaining so much as a splinter.
…Did she love Clef that much?
Yes, she answered herself firmly, not hesitating further, I do.
As she admitted this to herself, the Knight of the Wind and the Knight of the Water charged into the room.
It was the tempestuous intensity in the Water Knight's eyes, though, as she pleaded with Alcyone for the location of Debonair, that caught Sierra's eyes.
In those seemingly infinite eyes was that same fierce look.
She was barely more than a child, but her iron will, bent towards protecting Clef, and even more, all of Cephiro, shown within her eyes.
Their eyes were the same – Umi's and Clef's. They both possessed that same unmatchable stubborn determination.
Alcyone and Sierra both knew what the look of desperation in Umi's eyes meant.
They both knew very well what that look meant.
Alcyone did not answer the Water Knight's plea immediately. Instead, Sierra felt the sorceress's eyes turn back upon her for a brief moment. The whispered question, "Even if it's no use?" echoed through her head once more before she turned her head back to the young girls.
Sierra had seen the way he looked at her.
Maybe to someone who hadn't studied that face, didn't know the many nuances in his expressions, and hadn't learned to decipher his mask would miss it. Maybe, in fact, she was the only one to notice the way he regarded her.
She knew him best.
She also knew the significance of Alcyone's words. The importance of those words were drawn out clearly in his face, like lines in sand, one minute there, one minute gone, almost as if they had been imagined.
Something else was written for this girl there that was written for no other.
Certainly not for her.
She hoped she might be mistaken, because of all the emotions she had seen upon his face, love was the one thing she had never seen…
No, not for herself, not in that manner. She had never seen that expression, never seen a singular look of love. Only love in the manner which he loved all other things did he look at her.
She knew that that expression might never be for her. All of this she knew very well.
But she had decided. Even if it was of no use to her, she would follow him. She had given up her home, her name, herself so that she could remain by his side.
She did not know what this girl could give up…her life? But what good would that do him? Or perhaps she would sacrifice her world.?...Perhaps that was comparable to her very self.
…But who's to say she would do so if she were asked?
Certainly this was one of the few things Clef did not know. Perhaps that was the reason for the look on his face when he observed her…that sheer inexplicable nature that she had…Sierra did not know.
What she did know was that, exactly as the other girl appeared to be doing, she would do anything for Clef. She was content for the time being with merely loving him, remaining beside him, being of some use to him…even if it was no use to her.
In that way, she and Alcyone were the same.
Finally, Sierra managed to mutely nod at the sorceress, agreeing that she would continue…
Even if it was of no use.