Disclaimer:I have nothing to do with the ownership of Digimon. If I did, everything on this account wouldn't be fanfiction, it would be reality. And there would be steamy bedroom scenes involving the Digi-destined :D FREQUENTLY.
Warning: Shounen-ai, mild language.
Author Notes: One of my more popular Fairy Tales, finally done! Oh, that's wonderful. Now I can go ahead and DIE.
This is the first fairy tale to be written in chapter form! It would take a long one shot to write all of what I'm going to write, so there's four chapters. (Is it a one-shot if it has chapters? Nay? Oh well.)
Uki's Yaoi Fairy Tales Present:
Once opon a time in a kingdom somewhere far away (Even farther away then your Aunt Myrtle's house!) there lived the King and Queen. They ruled the Kingdom, you see, and everyone in it, which was very useful if you didn't like doing laundry and needed your socks washed. Socks are of no importance of this story, however.
One day, the Queen had a baby. It was a cute little son. And he was INSUFFERABLY so cute. Not just Kawaii, UBER Kawaii, and so cute with the widest little chibi eyes that no matter who you were, you saw him, and went: "AWWWWWWW! HE'S SO KAWAII!" And you would run squealing to him with little bubbles and hearts above your head.
Naturally you'd think his name would be 'Kawaii'. But have you ever heard of someone named Kawaii? No? Good, because Kawaii would be a very silly name to have. Nope, the little love's name was Takuya.
When Takuya was born, the entire kingdom was so proud and happy of the little prince, that when he was a year old, a party was thrown in his honour. Such nice people from all over the kingdom brought gifts and prayers of good fortune for Kawaii little Taku. The females also ran squealing to him with huggles and little bubbles/hearts floating above their heads. He lavished the attention, but cried wickedly if they touched him. He apparently did not like fangirls.
But the most important of all of these nice little people was a small little fairy-nymph. He was creamy white and a broad grey mouth,and the weirdest, most disturbing pink skirt-type thing. ('Waistband!' He insisted.) Everyone called him Bokomon, but then some just called him 'Fairy Boko.' Then others still, refering to the pink 'waistband,' called him 'That crazy little thing who wears a skirt. But he casts spells and stuff, so I guess he's alright.'
Bokomon/Fairy Boko/That crazy little thingyeh walked up to Takuya as he lay in his bed, squealing with pleasure at all the bright, pretty colours and loud happy music. Fairy Boko smiled at the squirming little prince,and held up a green book.
"I am going to-"
"Eh?" The King said,raising a brow. "I thought fairies had wands, not books?"
"Books are vastly more magical then any silly old WAND!" Bokomon said in a huff, protective of his not-so-little book. "Books are grand, books are the knowledge and lives of those past, books are-" And he continued like this for several minutes. Books are this, books are that, blah blah blah. Shortly, Kawaii little Taku was the only one awake. And he was only awake because he had discovered it to be funny to throw his cute little plushies at the funny little fairy while blowing cute little spit bubbles.
"Now then," Fairy Boko concluded, staring up expectantly at the King and Queen. "Doesn't that prove that books are obviously much more useful then wands?
No one was listening. A few people near him had remained asleep, but the rest of the guests had just continued dancing and didn't seem to care.
"FINE!" Fairy Boko said,a red vein popping out of his fourhead. "I guess I just won't bless the adorable little, cute, huggable, squeezable..."
Fairy Boko looked down into Takuya's little bed, and Kawaii little Taku stared back up at him with his wide, cute brown eyes, and his cute pinchable cheeks and his cute, CUTE cutecute smile...
"ALRIGHT alright alright. I'll bless the little guy after all." Kawaii little Taku squealed and clapped his cute little hands.
With that, he raised his book, and pointed at Takuya with a finger, muttering some strange little spells.
"Taku-chan shall have the power not only of cuteness,but of beauty and utter sexiness when he has grown." Glowing blue ribbons surrounded tiny Taku's body,and he squealed with delight. "But, He shall be innocent." The ribbons swirled faster. "Pure." Faster, gleaming. "And, most of all, to ensure his life shall be as perfect as it can, he shall also be-"
The entire kingdom gasped and muttered whispers filled the room. No one knew where the voice had come from; it had been everywhere and no where at once. The air in the room was suddenly frozen, and as if in a powersurge, every light died. The room was shrouded in utter blackness, and the temperature was desperately dropping. Kawaii little Taku started to shake and shiver with chill. His skin seemed to have been brushed with frost, and even as his mother tried hard to warm him, he still seemed cold, almost frozen.
Out of the frozen blackness came a shrill little laugh, and everyone, even Kawaii little Taku, glanced up with a gasp. A figure was developing out of thin air, and with a 'whoosh!' of icy air, he appeared. He was dressed in perfectly icy blue robes with a snowy white hood covering his face. As he came through the darkness he seemed towering, intimidating-until he tripped over his robes. With a yelp the lights came back on, and the guests of the kingdom screamed as the figure rolled in mid-air, as if on the ground, until he came to a hault with an aggrivated curse.
"Damned robes, Damned dark, Damned ice...Damned..." He looked up, his hood now off of his head,and revealing the face of a light brown haired boy, no older then thirteen. In the light, he was obviously shorter then thought. The room was quiet as it's population stared disbelieving at the young...icy...wizardy thing.
The air started to rise in temperature, and Takuya made the cutest little 'Burring' noise, looking up expectantly to be huggled and glomped by anyone withen reach. Half of the females in the room squealed with delight, and ran to huggle Takuya in fluffy pink backround as hearts and bubbles floated over their heads.
"Oy...give me a minute...damned robes...damned magic..." The boy in ice blue robes cleared his throat, excussed his clumsy stumble, and floated back into the air, covering his face again. "Alright, you may now fear me again."
The room burst into screams and chaos. The King and Fairy Boko stood in front of Kawaii little Taku's crib, as though protecting him from the evil adolesent.
"Well then." The boy looked around in amusement. "I've come to see Kawaii lil' Taku, where's Kawaii little Taki?"
"Who are you?" The King demanded of the boy in ice blue robes.
"Oh me?" he replied boredly, flicking away a bit of pocket lint. "I'm the Super Evil Icy Wizardy Adolescent Tomoki.
Everyone in the room blinked.
"What?" he whined at the room,crossing his arms. "It wasn't a name that I came up with damnit all!"
"Er...Super Evil Icy Wizardy Adolesent Tomoki...how did you get here?"
Super Evil Icy Wizardy Adolescent Tomoki attempted to look proud and fearful. "I came-"
"Yeah, how DID you come here?" A man in the crowd yelled to him.
"How did you appear in thin air like that?" A woman demanded.
"How can you trip over your robes in mid air!"
"BEQUIETFOOLS!" FLASH, a giant icecicle crashed into the ground.
Everyone was quiet.
"I time traveled. DUH," Tomoki said obviously while rolling his eyes, and everyone in the room, including the King and Queen, nodded at such a simple answer.
"Why are you here!" The Queen demanded of Tomoki.
"WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP INTERUPTING ME?" Super Evil Icy Wizardy Adolescent Tomoki screamed, turning the air dark and icy again.
Crickets started to chirp in the silence.
"That's better," The Super Evil Icey Wizardy Adolesent Tomoki approved.
The King waited a moment, before daring to speak. "Why do you want Takuya to be dead?"
Tomoki looked confused for a moment, before nervously laughing and rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh, uh, I don't want Takuya-nii-chan to be dead. That was just to make my enterance seem more dramatic."
All of the kingdom present in the room fell to the ground, anime style. Even Kawaii little Taku sweatdropped.
"Actually, I just came to place a CURSE on him!" Super Evil Icy Wizardy Adolescent Tomoki claimed dramaticly.
The queen gasped and clutched her son's cute and tiny hand. "No! You can't put a curse on him! You ca-"
"I already did." Tomoki said simply. "The curse was put on him when I entered the room. I just appeared for cake and punch."
"Why would you want to put a curse on our cute little Taku?" The Queen cried, hugging the adorable little thing.
"Well, I time traveled, you know? Anyway, I know him when he gets older, and he's like an older brother to me! Because he's so darn cute, his innocence is bound to be ruined. Poor Takuya-nii-chan! Destined to be the object of evil sex people things and PWP. He's only going to live til he's like...sixteen you know. Because of the curse. But it's better then some person coming along and ruining his innocence and virginity in some freaky lemon. " Super Evil Icy Wizardy Adolescent Tomoki floated towards the buffet layed out, carefully selecting certain foods and putting them on a cloth napkin. The King and Queen waited for him to continue, although slightly disturbed, but Super Evil Icy Wizardy Adolescent Tomoki's main concern was whether he wanted the cookies or not, and if so, which type of cookie he wanted, in what kind of form he wanted it, and if he should have brought milk.
After some silence,the King said, "What kind of curse did you put on Takuya?"
Super Evil Icey Wizardy Adolescent Tomoki at first didn't seem to hear him, but Taku made a particuarly loud squealing noise, and threw one of his remaining plushies at Tomoki's head. Naturally, everyone in the room 'Awwed' at the baby Takuya, and several of the woman (With little bubbles and hearts floating over their heads) went to coo at Kawaii little Taku.
Tomoki sighed and rubbed his chin. "I surpose you're pondering what kind of curse I put on Kawaii little Taku?"
"Well, it's a powerful curse, an evil curse. A FROZEN curse. I like ice, " Tomoki added, admiring the ice swan in the middle of the table. "Anyway, on Takuya's sixteenth birthday, he will put on a Super Evil Icy Pair of Socks! The socks will, instead of warming his feet, freeze him from the feet up, until he is a giant ice thingie! Then, I will steal the Icy Taku, frozen in his innocence, and steal him away from you, keeping him in my Super Evil Icy Castle!"
Gasps and cries of anguish followed this, except for one man in the crowd, who incredously said, "Socks?"
"YES, socks," Super Evil Icy Wizardy Adolescent Tomoki said irritably, crossing his arms. "I would've left the socks alone and have just had Kawaii little Taku frozen right here and now. I'd have taken him away and you people would never see him again, nor spoil his cute adorable adorableness. But one of you simpletons had to say something against socks!"
Each person in the room looked to one another. None of them had said a bad word against socks since at least last Tuesday.
"Oh, it wasn't one of YOU specifically," Tomoki (Considering the author is getting tired of saying the really long title.) added honestly. "No, it that evil hell-bound author!" He shook his fist angrily at a purple curtain, which had promptly and conveniently appeared to cover the author currently writing the story.
"I AM NINJA. NO ONE MAY SEE MY IDENTITY." Sweatdrops. "Send me hatemail via snail mail!"
"See what I mean?! Making me use snail mail...HONESTLY..." Tomoki returned to the baby. He smiled down at it.
"It's that evil author that makes me want to take away Takuya-Nii-chan in his frozen form." Tomoki floated towards Taku's little crib and stared down at him. "Oh sure, at the moment he's just a baby, but do you have any idea how many lemons that those crazy people are putting him through? You have no idea! Takuya-nii-chan is a FAVORITE of PWPs for god's sake! I mean, that wouldn't be so bad if the people writing the lemons actually had a clue, but they don't! For some reason, twelve year old fangirls get it in their minds that they just need to stick him into poorly constructed sex scenes at random! Poor little Takuya can't loose his innocence over a bunch of Evil Writing Women! Also known as, 'EWW.' Not only this, but the stupid author won't even put my entire name! I MIGHT've let it pass about that last one made the comment about socks, but promise of steamy bedroom scenes in the disclaimer made me put my foot down-"
"Your foot's not down, it's rather up." Fairy Boko said, pointing at the still floating Tomoki.
"BEQUIETFOOL!" FLASH, a gleam of light and Bokomon's feet were frozen to the ground.
"Anyway, to keep him from all the EWW, fifteen years from now and he's gonna be frozen and taken away from you, bye bye." And with a flash, Super Evil Icy Wizardy Adolescent Tomoki disappeared, along with the entire buffet's desert contents.
"Well, it's been real," one man in the crowd said cheerfully, heading towards the door.
Everyone else followed.
The King, Queen,and Bokomon looked down sadly at the Kawaii little Taku. "Oh, how ever shall we save our son," The King said sadly as the Queen stroked their son's pinchable cheek. He threw a plushie at her, obviously completely ignorant of the event that just happened.
So everyone waited. Waited...waited..
"Neemon!" Fairy Boko barked out. "That's your que!"
"Ne?" Came a thick and lazy voice.
"COME HERE NOW!"
And out of a red curtain, as if thrown from somewhere, came another little nymph. This was a yellow bunny that had nifty red pants.As he hit the ground and skidded to a stop, a snot bubble was inflating and deflating in a steady beat as he slept.
"WAKE UP NEEMON!" Fairy Boko walked over to Neemon, pulled his nifty red pants about a foot away from him, and let go. Neemon cried out and jumped to life.
"It's your que," Fairy Boko said in his bossy way.
Neemon scratched his rear and sniffed. Then he stretched and looked around. "Is nappy time over?"
"Oh please Fairy Nee!" The queen begged, putting her hand over her heart. "I'll just die if my poor baby is frozen. Or...molested...or whatever..."
"Bokomon, why is there a lady talking to me?"
Fairy Boko smacked his head with his book. "GO BLESS THE BABY BAKAMON!"
And so, as if by a magic invisible hand, Fairy Nee was picked up by the back of his pants and floated over Kawaii little Taku's crib. Taku-chan looked up innocently at the pants wearing fairy, and began sucking his thumb.
"Aww!" said Fairy Nee. "Isn't he cute?"
"Please, bless my son and protect him from harm," said the somewhat confused King.
"... Why can't Bokomon do it?"
"Because it's in the rules Bakamon!" Fairy Boko snapped. "Bless the child!"
"Bless my son!" Said the king.
"Bless my baby!" Said the queen.
"Woougga urg?" Said the baby. AWWWWWWW!
And so, Fairy Nee scratched his head, and removed a pocky stick from his back pocket. "With this stick of strawberry pocky, I shall-"
The King cleared his throat. "A book, then pocky. Doesn't anyone use wands anymore?"
Fairy Nee looked at the king in confusion. Which...wasn't any different then his normal look. "Silly king, pocky is much better then a silly old wand. You can eat it."
The King and Queen nodded at this logic.
"The Super Evil Icy Wizardy Tomoki has cursed the cute little baby right here. So I can't undo the curse or something like that, so I give him a blessing that makes the curse better! From this day forth, he shall always have pocky."
The King and Queen waited.
"...Is that it?" The Queen asked.
Fairy Boko floated up besides Fairy Nee and snapped his waistband again. "Concentrate Bakamon!"
Fairy Nee scratched his head with the pocky stick, licked the top of it, and pointed it back at Kawaii little Taku. "Instead of being frozen with socks and never waking up, he shall become asleep. But he'll still be really cold to fool the wizardy guy thing. "
"SUPER EVIL ICY WIZARDY ADOLESCENT TOMOKI!" A voice screamed out of nowhere. Then..."Sorry, go on."
"And, only someone who is seriously and totally hot will be able to kiss the then grown up Takuya. One day, his true love will come, and kiss Takuya, and if they are truly hot, they will awaken him from the ice spell and... I dunno, live happily ever after eating pocky or somethin'." Fairy Nee then poked Kawaii little Taku's head with the pocky stick, and left a strawberry smudge on his fourhead.
The King and Queen bowed and thanked the Fairy Nee in unison. Then, as the Kawaii little Taku slept, the entire kingdom settled down for fifteen years, waiting for the prince to grow. Who knows, maybe the Super Evil Icy Wizardy Adolescent Tomoki will totally forget about Kawaii little Taku. And he won't need to be subjected to PWP in order to be awakened from a fitful ice...thing. But when has it ever been that easy?