Title: Survival Training
Author: Moxie
Summary: When a surprise blizzard descends upon Team 7, they must test their survival skills... and when a certain Uchiha falls victim to the cold, the trio finds themselves in an awkward situation. Slight AU, as in, if Sasuke had never left Konoha.
Pairings: Suggested NaruSasuSaku
Rating: R, for sexual situations and references
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, sadly
A/N: Ahhh, this was supposed to be a smutty PWP. And then some plot got thrown in, and I couldn't write the smex either. So sorry. ;;

"I don't understand this," Sakura shouted over the shrill wind. "There should be a safe house somewhere close by, according to my map."

It was supposed to be a routine reconnaissance mission for Team 7. They were to journey slightly to the north to investigate rumors about the Hidden Village of Snow, marking any unusual changes in their defense forces. Kakashi-sensei had fallen ill and was not able to accompany them, but the Godaime had deemed it safe for the three chuunin to journey alone. And it had seemed so, until...

"I can't believe this fucking blizzard came out of nowhere!" Naruto yelled, stuffing his hands in his pockets and trying to stop his teeth from chattering. "I refuse to believe that old hag didn't know about this!"

Sakura shot him a glare. "I'm sure Tsunade-sama would have told us had she have known, baka."

"You don't know her like I do, Sakura-chan! Tsunade-baaba is a vindictive, sadistic— I know! I bet she's didn't tell us because I poured her sake out the window last week..."

"Excuse me, I don't know her like you do? I'm her fucking apprentice, moron. I think I know her better than most, especially you!"

And the pair would have most likely continued arguing, had Sasuke not spoken up.

"If you two are quite finished," he glared, effectively quieting Sakura. Naruto grumbled something to himself. "The safe house is over there," Sasuke gestured to patch of snow a few feet away. Indeed, there was a Konoha marker sticking out of the ground, in such a way that it would be impossible to spot unless you knew it was there. The trio scrambled to lift the hatch and climb underground to escape the harsh snowstorm.

"It's not that much warmer down here," Naruto pouted, pulling off his gloves and blowing into his hands. Sakura rolled her eyes as she turned on a kerosene lamp, picking it up and putting it on the floor.

"We'll have to light a fire," she replied, rummaging through the emergency stores. "Shit, it looks like they haven't replenished the provisions since the last team was here."

"Ehhhh? But I'm hungry!" whined Naruto.

Sakura made a face and started to pull some items from the shelves. "Don't worry, there's plenty of ramen, Naruto. But, let's see... there's no firewood. Or water," Sakura frowned. "And there's only one futon."

Naruto leered at her. "Nyaah, then I guess we'll have to share, eh Sakura-chan?"

Sasuke snorted.

"You wish, pervert," said Sakura, leveling a threatening gaze at him. "Here's our pot, go outside and find some clean snow. And dry twigs."

Naruto accepted it begrudgingly. "How come I have to go, huh? What, is Mr. Ice Princess too good to for manual labor?"

"Sasuke-kun is going to light the fire, baka," Sakura scowled, whapping Naruto over the head. "So you can go outside and get the water and firewood."

Sasuke smirked from his comfortably secluded spot in the corner. "What's wrong, dobe? Do you think that would be too much for you?"

"No!" Naruto snapped, color rising to his cheeks. "I just..." he trailed off, mumbling something under his breath.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Sasuke lifted a hand to his ear. "I didn't quite catch it."

"I said," the blonde replied, keeping his eyes on the ground. "That I can't feel my toes."

Sakura gave him a suspicious look. "All right, come here. Let me see."

Naruto sat down next to her and began to pull off his boots and visibly soaked socks. Sakura frowned and waited for an explanation.

"Ehh, remember when you heard me shout earlier?" Naruto started to explain, watching Sakura and Sasuke nod their heads. "Well, you see, I was kinda fooling around on the ice, and it kinda cracked. And my ankles kinda fell in before I could get the chakra to my feet."

Sakura just continued looking at him for a few more beats before she exploded.

"I don't believe you! You are the biggest idiot I've ever known!" she yelled, causing both Naruto and Sasuke to shrink back. "Not only do you walk on the lake ice, when you have no idea how thin it could be, but then you are thickheaded enough to walk around in wet shoes for over an hour! In a blizzard!"

The pink-haired kunoichi sat back and took a deep lungful of air, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"I'm... sorry?" Naruto said in a small voice, scratching the back of his head.

Sasuke shook his head in disgust, snatching the black kettle from his grip. "You really are a moron. I'll go get the supplies."

"I was gonna do it," Naruto groused, watching as the Uchiha left.

"Give me your feet," Sakura huffed, molding the chakra in her hands. Naruto placed his heels in the center of her lap, leaning back to support his weight on his forearms. "You and Sasuke are exactly the same, I swear. No one ever asks for help until their toes are about to fall off."

Naruto laughed as the medic-nin in training began to massage his feet with her warming chakra. "H-hey st-stop it! Gu-uh, ti-tickles!"

Sakura lifted an eyebrow. "I'm surprised you can actually feel that."

"Aha-aha, n-no pl-please stop! Un-ncle, uncle!"

"Just a bit longer," Sakura replied, attacking one of his feet with a particularly ticklish wave of chakra.

Naruto was beyond speech at this point, his chest tight with uncontrollable laughter and tears leaking out of his eyes.

"Okay. All done."

Naruto hiccupped. "You have been spending far too much time with Tsunade-baachan. Her influence has turned you into a cruel and vicious ninja."

Sakura hit Naruto playfully. "Hey, don't say mean things about Hokage-sama."

The pair dissolved back into laughter, clutching at each other for balance. After a few minutes of breathless giggling, Sakura finally sobered up, remembering her patient. She gestured to his feet.

"Wiggle 'em for me."

Naruto responded by energetically moving his toes back and forth.

"I proclaim you fully healed," Sakura stated with a smug smile. "Better than before, even."

"It's amazing, astonishing! I was sure I was going to die, right here!" Naruto replied, playing along.

Sakura scoffed, picking her chin up. "No one dies under the watch of the number one medic-nin, Haruno Sakura. I am a miracle worker."

Naruto and Sakura both began to chuckle again, before Naruto spoke up.

"Ehh, sorry about being stupid, Sakura-chan. I didn't mean to get you all worked up."

She sighed and leaned forward to ruffle his hair. "I'm sorry, too. Just, you know, being on a team with you guys frazzles my nerves a lot," Sakura gave him a lopsided grin. "I know I'll be the first of the Rookie Nine to have grey hair."

"You should stop worrying so much," replied Naruto, suddenly taking note of how close they'd gotten. "Or you'll end up looking like Kakashi-sensei."

In a different situation, Sakura would've let loose a small giggle. But in a different situation, her mouth wouldn't have been mere centimeters from Naruto's, and she wouldn't be caught up in his honest, ocean-blue eyes. And her heart wouldn't have been pounding in anticipation.

But, of course, in a different situation, it would've been Sasuke she was about to kiss. And that train of thought brought her mind to another pressing matter.

"Sasuke-kun!" she cried, turning her head violently toward the exit on the other end of the safe house. Naruto grimaced.

"Is he all you ever think about?" Naruto asked dejectedly.

Sakura shook her head. "No, no. I mean, Sasuke-kun hasn't come back yet! Something must've happened."

"You're right. It's been too long," Naruto replied, setting his jaw. "Let's go."

The two members of Team 7 lifted the hatch cautiously, keeping a lookout for enemy-nins. Seeing none, they crawled out of the safe house, noting that the blizzard had picked up since they'd gotten inside. It seemed that another foot of snow had fallen.

"He must've gotten lost," Sakura yelled, as the wind howled in their ears. "Leave a chakra stain on the marker, so we can find our way back!"

Naruto shivered, pulling his jacket tighter. "Are you sure you'll be able to see it?"

Sakura frowned, taking the limited visibility into account. "Make it big!"

The blonde nodded, drawing on the Kyuubi's reserves to stain the Konoha marker a fiery red. Sakura gave her approval with an affirmative hand signal, and they started their search, calling out their teammate's name in hopes that he would hear it over the deafening storm.

"Sasuke-kun? Can you hear us?" Sakura called out at regular intervals, her voice growing more and more desperate as they saw no signs of the Uchiha heir.

Naruto too was growing increasingly more worried. "Sasuke-teme! Where are you?"

Finally, after what seemed to be a hopeless length of time, they caught sight of a figure lying in the snow, bluish-pale and looking worse for the wear.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shouted, hurrying over toward him. Sasuke turned his head toward her clumsily, in a manner that was entirely uncharacteristic.

"What are you doing out here, Sakura?" Sasuke asked slowly, slurring his words. Naruto appeared by her side, and Sasuke regarded him as well. "And Naruto, too. Did something happen?"

The pink-haired kunoichi immediately went into her no-nonsense-medic-nin mode. "Naruto, pick Sasuke up, but be very gentle with him. Don't let him move on his own."

Naruto bent to pick up his teammate, but Sasuke brushed him off. "I'm fine, Sakura. I can stand on my own."

"Don't let him move, Naruto," Sakura barked. "Sasuke-kun, you have hypothermia. You have to let Naruto carry you."

"No, I'm okay," protested Sasuke, but Naruto overpowered the weakened Uchiha easily and gingerly scooped him up.

Sakura nodded, and then turned back toward the direction in which they'd started their search. "I can still see your chakra mark, Naruto. Come on, we have to hurry."

The team hastily made their way back to the safe house, Naruto still keeping a lookout for any rouge enemy-nins and Sakura continually barking orders for Naruto to keep Sasuke close to his chest to try and generate warmth. When they reached the hideaway, Sakura quickly extinguished Naruto's chakra flare and popped the hatch, ushering the two boys inside.

Once indoors, she scrambled to roll out the futon, and then turned to Naruto, a pink flush coloring her face. "Strip."

The look Naruto gave her was the same one he would have used had she suddenly sprouted three extra heads. "What!"

"Strip. You and Sasuke. Now," Sakura told him, fighting back a furious blush. "We have to get into the futon to warm him back up."

Sasuke shook his head, stumbling on his feet. "What are you talking about, Sakura? I'm fine."

Naruto shrugged. "Ehhh, maybe he is fine now, Sakura-chan."

She rounded on him instantly. "He is not fine, Naruto. I've been trained to recognize the signs of hypothermia, and he's almost at the most severe stage right now. Lack of coordination, slurred speech, weakness... if we don't hurry he's going to lose consciousness."

The blonde grew solemn and then, after a few seconds, reached for the zipper on his jacket. Sakura turned around and began to undress, throwing a sharp glance over her shoulder.

"Don't look, pervert."

"I'm not, I'm not," Naruto grumbled, averting his gaze as he pulled his pants down. Once fully nude, he turned to Sasuke to rid him of the drenched clothes that cloaked his pale frame.

"Hn, dobe? Are you trying to get into my pants?" Sasuke slurred, wobbling on his feet. Naruto could hear Sakura's snort of amusement from the other side of the room. He felt his cheeks heat.

"Shut up, teme," Naruto replied, jerking Sasuke's boxers down and helping him step out of them.

"Okay," Sakura said. "I'm getting in. Both of you close your eyes."

Naruto shut his eyes obediently, but peeked through his lashes as Sakura jumped into the futon. Maannn, did Sakura-chan have a nice body...

"All right. You can get in now," she stated, a feverish blush painting her face. Naruto picked Sasuke up and carried him toward the futon.

"I knew you wanted in my pants, dobe," Sasuke smirked, still stumbling over his words. "Now you're carrying me to bed."

Naruto ignored him pointedly, trying to overlook the fact that his cock had just twitched in interest. He laid the Uchiha down and then climbed in next to him, so that Sasuke was in the middle.

"Don't wrap your legs around his just yet," Sakura told him, as she pressed her breasts to Sasuke's chest. "We need to heat his core first. Get as close as you can."

Naruto did as she said, thankful that is was dark enough to hide his quickly reddening face.

"So warm..." Sasuke moaned appreciatively. Naruto made a noise resembling a choking badger.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto voiced after a few minutes. "Can't you heat him with your chakra, like you did to me?"

Sakura shook her head. "No, his core temperature has dropped too much. We have to warm him gradually, otherwise all the cold blood with flow back to his heart and send him into cardiac arrest."

An uncomfortable silence lapsed again, punctuated occasionally by Sasuke's moans of contentment. Then Sakura suddenly leaned forward and began to exhale near his mouth. Naruto gave her an odd look.

"I'm warming the air for his lungs," she explained in an exasperated voice. "Lean forward. It'll help his internal temperature rise."

Naruto complied, bringing his mouth to rest merely inches away from Sasuke and Sakura's. He let out a ragged breath and tried to forget how Sasuke's ass was digging oh-so-nicely into his groin or how his hand was nudged oh-so-nicely against the underside of Sakura's breast...

"Dobe," Sasuke mumbled, a smirk playing upon his face. "Are you getting hard?"

The blonde blushed furiously, shifting in the futon and trying to conceal his growing erection. Sakura glared at him.


"It's not like I can help it!" Naruto replied. "And you're one to talk, teme!"

Sasuke cocked a lazy eyebrow, unabashed. "Why are you looking, dobe?"

"I— I'm not looking!" Naruto stammered angrily, turning his gaze away from Sasuke's hardening cock. "I just— we're all so close, and everything! Where am I supposed to look, huh?"

"Shut up, dobe," replied the Uchiha, rolling over to face him. Naruto glared.

"You can't tell me what to do, bastard!"

"Fine. I'll make you."

And well, you could say that Naruto was a little bit shocked when Sasuke leaned forward and kissed him. But he was absolutely flabbergasted when Sakura joined in.

Not that he was complaining, of course.

Because that night, despite the fading lamp and absence of a fire, Team 7 was very warm.

"You knew!"

Tsunade gave the threesome a bland look from behind her desk. "Yes, I knew. You don't think the Hokage would've been informed about an impending blizzard?"

Sakura pointedly ignored Naruto's smug gaze, which clearly read 'I told you so.'

"But, Tsunade-sama, why wouldn't you tell us?" Sakura asked, eyebrows drawing down in confusion. "Surely something like this would affect our mission's success rate?"

"Ah, but that is the mission in itself," Tsunade grinned furtively, folding a hand under her chin. Naruto glared at her.

"You mean that we were supposed to figure this out for ourselves!" He yelled, turning toward Kakashi. "And you, I bet you aren't even sick, are you?"

"Fit as a fiddle," the silver-haired jounin grinned. Naruto's jaw dropped.

"So, this... this was..."

"Survival training," Sasuke said, speaking for the first time since the team had entered the Hokage's office.

Sakura set her jaw. "Our state of affairs with Yukigakure?"

"Had a peace talk last week," Tsunade answered lightly.

"The safe house?"

"Deliberately under stocked."

Naruto pouted. "So, this whole mission was a fake!"

Kakashi sighed from his position against the wall. "All chuunin teams have to go through survival training. It's one of the first steps toward becoming jounin. The mission's purpose is to test your vitality and build comradery."

"Well, it certain did the latter," Naruto mumbled. Sakura hit him over the head.


Sasuke glared at his teammates with cold fury, as the Hokage and their team leader were now staring at the trio in interest.

"Ah, I see," Kakashi smiled. "Well, that's certainly an unexpected result, though not at all uncommon."

Sakura felt her face growing hot. "What do you mean Kakashi-sensei?"

He gave her a knowing look. "I just hope you all remembered to use protection."

Sasuke and Sakura both made identical choking sounds. Naruto scratched the back of his head in confusion.

"But Sasuke can't get pregnant..."

"Usuratonkachi!" Sasuke shouted, pulling out a kunai. "Why don't you just tell them about the whole night, idiot!"

"Nyaah, how bout I tell 'em how you screamed for me, eh, teme?"


"Sasuke-kun, don't kill Naruto too much..."

"Eh, aren't you gonna help me, Sakura-chan! I'll give you a repeat performance!"

"You pervert!"

"Come on, guys, two on one isn't fair!"

"You weren't complaining last night, dobe!"

Needless to say, the dynamics of Team 7 were never quite the same after that.

R&R, if you please. ;D

PS- I hate formatting. XP