Title: Will The Real Sam and Jack Please Stand Up?

Author: ReganX

Rating: PG/K+

Season: Three

Spoilers: This story takes place a few days after 'Point of View', so anything up to then is fair game.

Summary: "Remember when you ordered the quantum mirror destroyed? It didn't exactly work out as we planned."

Feedback: Feedback is more than welcome, flames are not.

Disclaimer: 'Stargate SG1' and all the characters associated with the show belong to someone who isn't me. As I doubt that the owners would be willing to trade their rights for some magic beans that aren't in any way magical, this is not going to change at any point in the foreseeable future.

Chapter One: Nametags?

"I'm sorry, Major." Though gruff, General Hammond's voice was not unkind. "My decision is final."

"But, General, imagine the possibilities for exploration, for gathering information, learning about new technology. Who knows what we could find..."

"My point exactly." He cut her off firmly. "I think that it would be fair to say that we have enough problems of our own without importing them from other realities, don't you?"

Even Sam couldn't argue against that. "Yes, sir."

"Then you should get to work." He told her. "The sooner that thing is destroyed, the better I'll feel."

The quantum mirror seemed to be stubbornly resistant to the idea of being destroyed.

Teal'c's staff weapon had been unable to put so much as a dent in its surface and multiple shots from a zat had had no effect whatsoever. Bullets had caused about as much damage as paper balls would have and, as the object seemed to be made of naquadah, or something very similar, C4 was out of the question.

"Not going to go gently into that good night, is it?" Jack observed, coming into the lab for a progress report and finding the quantum mirror still standing in all its glory and his second in command growing increasingly frustrated by her inability to follow General Hammond's orders.

"Nothing I've done has been able to so much as scratch it." Sam told him, frowning. She never liked to be beaten, especially by technology.

"Maybe you're going about this the wrong way."


"Your methods might be a little too high tech - Siler!"

At the Colonel's bellow, Sergeant Siler, who had been conducting repairs outside the lab, entered, a puzzled frown crossing his features when Jack plucked the huge wrench from his hand and shooed him out of the room.

"Brute force might just do the trick." He hefted the heavy wrench - how did Siler manage to lug this thing around all day? - in preparation to strike then paused, as if remembering his manners, and offered it to Sam. "Want to do the honors?" He inquired politely, his eyes pleading with her to decline.

Sam laughed and, taking pity on him, shook her head. "It's all yours, sir."

"Sweet!" He grinned appreciatively before regarding the mirror with a keen gaze, his eyes combing its surface for any weak points. "Well, here goes nothing. Fore!"

Swinging the wrench like a golf club, he struck the center of the mirror as hard as he could, creating a resounding clang and smirking when he cracked the surface.

The triumphant smile was wiped off his face when, approximately three seconds later a wave of pale violet light emanated from the mirror and sent him and Sam flying across the lab.

Major General George S Hammond had been half convinced that just over two years of running Stargate Command had permanently cured him of being surprised - at least until he had walked into the lab and, instead of the two people he had expected to find causing trouble, he had found eight, most of them nursing various bumps and bruises.

"What the heck is going on here?"

"Uh, General," Jack looked as uneasy as he ever did. "Remember when you ordered the quantum mirror destroyed? It didn't exactly work out as we planned."

That was an understatement of mammoth proportions, the general reflected sourly, taking in the assorted Carters and O'Neills standing in the lab.

"Sir, there's a problem. Another problem." Sam amended sheepishly, seeing the general's glare. She gestured to the quantum mirror, which was now a dull black, cracked in several places. "It won't come on again. We're not going to be able to send anybody back."

"Wonderful." Was a quiet life really too much to ask for? "I don't suppose any of you have any suggestions about what we can do now?"

Jack shrugged. "Nametags?"

General Hammond was not amused.