Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon.
(AN: Yay! I finally got the original Japanese version of Sailor Moon for Christmas! One of the first episodes I decided to watch was the one where Zoisite was murdered by Beryl; I was literally crying by the end of Zoisite's death scene TT. Anyway, I was inspired to write this. Hope you enjoy.)
To Die Beautifully
By Silver Sailor Ganymede
Darkness surrounded me for my entire life: not the darkness of the night, one penetrated by the light of the stars, but a sheer, endless darkness: the darkness of our home, the Dark Kingdom.
I remember the last time I stood in that darkness, the last time I felt emptiness gnawing away at my soul. I was unprepared for death, I had thought that it would never come, that I, as one of the Shitennou, was immortal. How wrong I was. I had always feared death above all else, feared the darkness that it would bring, the impenetrable darkness and loneliness that would make even the Dark Kingdom seem a place of light, joy and laughter…
I remember the pain when Beryl struck me; the energy was of such pure darkness that I doubt even the Devil himself would have been able to withstand it. I remember falling to the floor, the pain of the impact seeming nothing to me; the pain the dark energy had inflicted on me was incomparable and unbearable. I remember thinking that I had died in that desolate hall at the heart of our demonic kingdom, thinking that I had died alone without even being able to say a simple 'goodbye'.
My soul left my body at that time; I could feel nothing, and that was worse, in truth, than the pain bestowed on me by Queen Beryl's final curse. And then I could see him, Kunzite, holding my broken, lifeless body in his arms in the way that a child would hold onto a doll. It was an image unbecoming of the highest of the Shitennou, the man so cold he was regarded to be an ice-king even among our order. He tried desperately to convince Queen Beryl to revive me, to return me to life, but of course she refused. What use was I to her? What use is any slave who goes against his master's orders?
The next thing I knew, I was awake, alive, and searing pain racked my body once more. But I was weak, so weak. I knew that I was on the verge of death, but I was not alone. Kunzite was there, Kunzite-sama. He had not abandoned me even in this weakened state, and such a thing was virtually unheard of in our Kingdom. Why should any stay with a dying ally? Indeed, why would any being of the Dark Kingdom have such a thing as an ally? But he was there by my side as I was on the verge of death. He turned to me, and I thought I saw tears form in those eyes of his; eyes as cold and colourless as the ice after which he was called. Kunzite spoke then, he told me in a tone of unbearable sadness that he had tried and failed to persuade Queen Beryl to revive me, to let me live. Of course I was not surprised; I had seen it all myself and I knew that I had no choice but to embrace death, the thing that I feared most…
Kunzite turned to me again and held me in a close embrace, just as he had done so many times. It was cold, so cold, in the Dark Kingdom, and yet I felt warmth in Kunzite-sama's arms. Or at least I felt in a way that I presumed was warmth, for I had never felt such a thing being, as I was, a slave to the cold, foreboding darkness.
I told him I was happy, for I would die in his arms, but I wanted just for one last wish to be granted. I wanted to die beautifully, in such a way as to be surrounded by beauty; for beauty was a rare thing in the Dark Kingdom, very rare indeed. I sank deeper into his embrace and told him, truly, that I loved him. I saw beauty around me, sakura blossoms swirling freely in the air… and yet his face was still the most beautiful thing I saw, and indeed it would be the last thing I saw before death came for me.
Darkness, however, was gone from me; the darkness around me died just as I did. I saw only light as I died, only light and beauty. I died in a state that I had so rarely before been in; I died in happiness, and in the knowledge that soon, one way or another, I would see Kunzite's face again. I died in a way I had always wished to, if indeed death had to claim me… I died beautifully.