Warnings: Minor swearing, Christina snark
Disclaimer: If Grey's Anatomy were mine, McDreamy would be shirtless 90 percent of the time, and that wouldn't really work with the plot... So, no, it isn't mine.
Notes: Well, I'm not a new fic writer, but this is my first Grey's fic, so yay for that. I think this is a great genre and there oughta be a bigger body of work for it, so I hope you enjoy my contribution!
Christina's never been into all of that sharing and bonding crap that the others seem to thrive on.
She doesn't need it and she doesn't want it, and it annoys the hell out of her that Burke does.
He tells her about everything, even if she claims she isn't listening. His mother owns a restaurant. He likes to listen to jazz music. He once spent a year in Madrid and thought about becoming an artist.
Sometimes, she swears he does it just to break the silences she loves.
But she never gets to tell him so because then he goes into something deeper. He tells her he's concerned about his family- not everyone's a hotshot doctor. He's worried about the gunshot victim he operated on yesterday- there might be more bleeding. He's not sure if he's ever going to be chief and it has him questioning his worth as a surgeon.
And once- never again- he tells her about the first person he killed. A little girl. Five years old. Loved to dance, kept getting short of breath in rehearsals, wouldn't take her ballet slippers off even to come to the hospital.
He couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. He missed it. She died.
Her parents hugged him anyway.
Christina lays awake in his arms long after he finishes and wonders if, for all her distance, she'll still find her own voice cracking if she ever talks about such things.
Be glad he trusts you, Meredith says, but she isn't anything close to glad. She doesn't feel all warm inside when he confides in her. She's pissed off because she idolizes the collected front he puts up, and she wants it to be real. She wants him to teach her how to be just like that.
But instead she finds him teaching her something else entirely.
And it scares her and it thrills her when she finds herself wanting to learn.