Title: Alexandra the Great
Disclaimer: SVU group are property of Dick Wolf.
Part One: Olivia
I couldn't lie. Not even to myself. There were, in fact, days that I actually couldn't stand Alex Cabot. I'm not talking about when she first started, that goes without saying. I've never been a fan of change, but blondes used to creep me out. I never thought I'd find one as smart as Alex. I feel like calling myself an ass for thinking like that in the first place. I'm talking about when we have a hard case; I mean a really hard one. We all put in our best efforts and I feel as though Alex questions that; sometimes rather bluntly. What gets me the most is that we would never question her dedication. So why does she have to be like that?
There's a problem with this though. It's when I have to go face to face with her. I see her, and no matter how angry I was before, it vanishes at the first glance. How the hell does she do that to me? I'm supposed to be hard as nails here and a look from her sends me into a powder puff fairy land. Watch out perps, here comes the swooning fuzzy cop. Sometimes I really wonder about myself.
I open the door to the precinct and it's so early, my bones still ache from forcing them out of bed without the proper hours of sleep. Besides getting hit in the face with stale air, the smell of coffee is lingering down the hallway. Could this place scream "man" anymore than it already does? However, if it screamed anything other than that, it wouldn't feel like home. Some days I really enjoy the fact that I'm ragged edged and bold. After all, I'm no Cabot. I'd trade in high heels for my boots any day. It must be painful to wake up and dress yourself in a straight jacket disguised as an expensive suit. Maybe that's why Alex seems so sharp all the time. Most people seem to be scared of her; I just think she could use a hug. Or better yet, a good lay. Not that I'm suggesting anything but come on now. Alex is a sight; it's when she opens her mouth that she breaks down the walls of adoration. It's obvious she's been alone a long time and I have a feeling it's going to get worse if she keeps this up. I can't deny though, there is something about the fearsome Alex Cabot that I can't pin point. Maybe it's just my intuition striking a match in my insides to spark this interest in her. Whatever it is, I wish it would just go away. I don't want to be interested in Alex in anyway because it's obvious that she lets absolutely no one in. I can see myself just putting effort into something that would just leave me frustrated and quite possibly embarrassed in the end.
Munch greets me with a quick 'hello' as he makes his way out of the captain's office to his computer. I like it when there's close to no one here in the morning. This place is so chaotic; it's nice to know that there are actually times when it's peaceful.
I lean back in my chair as I read over a case file that seemed to be going no where. I would have starred at the same paragraph for an hour, looking for a connection, had I not smelt it. My nose caught the faint whiff of her perfume; Calvin Klein's 'Obsession'. Ha, how appropriate. Well, I shouldn't be laughing because that's painfully true on more levels than one. I'm ridiculous. I lift my head and breathe in the air as much as I can. Munch looks at me oddly but I guess he can't think of anything sarcastic to say.
I see her. She's talking to Cregan. The door of his office left ajar from Munch's departure. I can see a sliver of her face. I watch her jaw move up and down and I'm entranced by it. I can't help myself.
My view is abruptly blocked by a blue shirt and a black tie. My eyes travel up from Elliot's chest to his face as he smiles at me.
'You're early,' he remarks as he takes a daring sip of his scorching coffee. I offer a half smile.
'How long have you been here?' He asks me things like he's my brother. What he's really asking is, did I sleep last night? He could also want to know if I've been going crazy trying to figure out the missing piece to this case. Of course he doesn't need to ask because we're so much on the same page; he knows I'll tell him what he wants to know.
'Not long, just looking at Susan Clark's file.' I say that, realizing too late that I'm holding Madison Wustman's. It takes Elliot all of two seconds to notice and he turns around to look at Cregan's office to see the sliver of where my mind really was.
'You mean Alex's file…' he whispers and smirks like a little boy as he adds to my embarrassment, '… her profile…through Cregan's door.' I scowl with red cheeks and toss Madison's file onto his desk.
'Why are you like that?' I ask, knowing full well it's because he loves to figure me out. 'I'm going to the little girl's room,' I say leaning in so no one can hear but him, 'and when I come out, I expect you to be a gentleman.' We both laugh at the inside conversation as I turn from his grin and leave.
I'm starring at myself in the mirror. I can't understand why I can work these streets everyday with the things I see and yet, this counselor can get to me. This woman can get to me, but the worlds ugliest images can't even get to me. She's ruining my record. It used to be, nothing got to me. It's what gave me my power; my force!
I don't really care that Elliot jokes about Alex. It just surprised me that he pointed out that I had a crush on her before I even figured it out myself. Some detective I am. We don't talk about it much, mainly because I don't know how to explain it. I told him once that it bothered me that I was attracted to her. His only advice was to make myself let go of it. Thanks El, I'll get right on that. Not that he's helping at all.
She pushes through the door fast. She seems to always be in a fast forward mode. She sweeps in and out of places in a flash. Can't she just slow down and take in her surroundings sometimes? I guess that goes with my job description, not hers. I confess, she startled me when she burst through that door. I don't think she expected me to be standing there either, leaning on the sink staring at myself.
'Olivia,' her tone seemed hard at first but she softened. I had to admit, she looked as though she was almost genuinely concerned. 'Are you okay?'
'Uh,' I cleared my throat that seemed to go dry in the second she power housed through the door. 'Yeah… Yes, I'm fine.'
'Are you worried about the case? Because if you are, I just made a major find.' She proclaimed this information proudly. Oh, so that's it. She didn't want to know if I was okay. She wanted to find away to show me how smart she was without announcing it so bluntly. How cheap.
'Really?' I reply as blankly as I can. Sometimes I think that if reciprocate the coldness she shows, that she'll see it in herself and stop being that way. However, I'm finding that it never works.
'Yes actually I seemed to find a connection between Madison and Susan because of the flower shop,' as Alex began to explain, I began to tune her out. She was so much better to admire when she wasn't boasting.
'Isn't that great detective?' she asked with a half smile. I didn't really like it when she called me detective. It was so impersonal. Why don't you give me a number Alex? Or just refer to me as the brunette woman. At least that would imply that you are able to give me some personification.
'Yes, that is a good find. Is that why you are here so early?' I'm so good at pretending to care, because right now I resent this woman so much. I am angry that she is my weakness. She reminds me of this specific motorcycle I wanted when I was in my twenties. Somehow I just couldn't get my act together, save up and dedicate myself to it. They don't even make that model anymore. See how that works? Alex, you unreachable dream, just go away.
'Yeah, I wanted to report it straight to Cregan.' Alex replied. Her facial features changed as she realized that I was staring hard into her face. She expressed obvious discomfort as she looked away and mumbled something about brushing up before heading back to her office.
'I'll tell Elliot the good news,' I say that with a lighter tone because I am suddenly hit with guilt for being so harsh to her. I, of all people, should know better. Fighting fire with fire only makes more destruction. I need to start killing Alex with kindness. I need to water her down and warm her up. Or else I really need to get over her soon.
I walk out of the bathroom and Elliot is standing with his coat on his arm.
'Shall we?' he asks in a joking manner but its obvious that jumping into the unmarked car is the last thing he has time for this morning. I nod and follow him in silence to the parking lot.