Ok. Well. This is now my THIRD upload of this story, and hopefully this will be the one that sticks.

I've tried to get all of the buggy code out of this story so you won't see all the weird little letters with various umlats and accents over them, but no promises, eh?

I'd like to thank LMRS, Emmygirl and aeverett for their contributions to the story. All characters, with one exception, belong to Renaisannce Pictures and not to me. You know this by now, I'm sure.

On with the story, for the third smegging time!


Ah, morning on Pulau Pulau. The squawking of various poultry, the shrieks of the vendors hawking their wares, the slapping of the salt sea against the hulls of abused ships, the French Gendarmes, tramping noisily thru the sand...

Jack wandered the island slightly after dawn an a chilly Monday morning. Muttering to himself the whole time, of course.

"Flingin' flangin' woman. That girl is going to be the death of me. Getting me up at this ungodly hour..."

He was running a message to one of Emilia's cargo ships, basically to the effect of, "Capatin, please remove the charges of following Wednesday's port of call, as I specificly yada yada yada. . ."

"I can't belive Emilia would do this to me! I need my beauty sleep!"

Emilia, meanwhile, was of course in bed asleep.

"One of these days, Alice, POW BANG!! to the moon!!"

The ships were doing their intricate dances to avoid the maritime equivilent of roller derby. The shouts of the old sea dogs were laced with profanity. And that was just the women. . .

A large ship, of unknown markings, glided into port. Just as Jack walked past, a beautiful, raven haired beauty leaned out over the edge of the boat.

"JACK!!! JACK STILES!!!" she called out.

Jack pulled himself up short. He didn't know this girl, as much as he would wish that he did. She was almost as pretty as Emilia. . . He shook himself, and waited for the gangplank to decend so this stunning creature could explain herself.

As if something like that needed an explaination. She was so exquisite, and a little on the youngish side.

After a brief interval, she was running down the gangplank, skirts flying, bosom heaving...

Right into Jack's arms.


Jack was stunned. Daddy?!? Oh, boy, this was going to take some explianing. . .

"Young lady, I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage..."

She pouted. Oh, god, she POUTED! That just wasn't fair! Jack could never resist a pout, even when it was somebody claiming to be his daughter.

"But, um... I'm sure there's a simple explaination for this. Did you just call me... Daddy?"

"Oh, Daddy, you're such a kidder!!" The beauty raised a delicate fist and punched Jack once on the shoulder. Hard. Very hard.

"Ow!" What on earth? Who did this girl think she was, Kentcky Sue?

Kentucky. . . .

Ken. . .

Oh, good lord. . .

No. No it couldn't be true. He and Sue went back a ways, but, not this far. This girl was at least 20.

"Ok, sister, I don't know who you think you're foolin', but Jack Stiles ain't nobody's daddy."

"Daddy," the girl moaned. "Stop it. You're embarassing me..."

A smallish crowd was gathering. Included among them were a few French soldiers, who were pointedly staring at the girl. She seemed not to noticed this, but even so, she blushed just a tad and her bosom heaved harder.

A little man dressed in the traditional garb of a sailor (ie: rags encrusted with salt and cheap rum.) shuffled his way toward the girl, holding her luggage. He seemed. . . intimidated by her.


She whirled on him, her hand on her hip, as if reaching for a weapon. The sailor hit the dirt.

"I've only got you luggage, miss! Please, don't shoot!" the sailor wailed.

The girl smiled prettily, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. She handed the terrified sailor a coin, which she pulled out of her cleavage.

"Don't spend it all in one place," she purred. "Now SCRAM!"

The sailor did just that, his outfit gaining one more layer of filth as he ran.

She turned back to Jack, who had watched the scene with a bit of bemusement, and even more befudlement. "B" words abounding.

"Daddy, will you help me with my luggage?"

"Look, missy, I've told you once and I'll say it again, I'm NOT..."

"Is there a problem here, monsier?"

A French soldier had made his way over, attracted by the commotion. Greeeeat, thought Jack, this could get complicated.

"There's no problem here," chirped the girl. "Just a family reunion at the dock of the bay!!" She grabbed Jack in a fierce bear hug, giggling. Suddenly she whispered to him through gritted teeth; "Shut up and play along, you fool! It's my life at stake!"