7:37 PM

Scott and I got into our first big fight today. It only took about six months. I still haven't accustomed myself with sharing my life and everything else with someone else, not to mention space.

Not that that is what started it all.

The seeds of contention came wrapped in a little package in the form of an anniversary gift.


Since I haven't written in quite a while I want to talk a little about my new life.

It's been quite crazy. Especially the physical part. I can't seem to get enough of Scott; all I think about is him; to the point that I get distracted, and freekin' grumpy when I hadn't had my "down time" with him. And what is actually surprising is that Scott seems to be the same. You should see us after we have been parted for a couple days, when one of us goes on a mission or what not.. we usually barely make it to our room.

And I am not even going to mention how many places around the mansion have gotten quite a different look to them now that me and Scott have um... well you know... there..

No I am not blushing.

The most embarrassing thing that has happened so far is what occurred about two months ago. Scott had been working on one of the jets; I went to take him lunch, only to find that that wasn't exactly what he had an appetite for. We had been so engrossed that when we heard footsteps approaching; Scott barely had time to get his pants on, I to get a shirt on, one which left me pretty uncovered, because it didn't really have that much fabric to it..

It was McCoy.

He came walking up the ramp, right away obvious to what he had almost walked in on.

Scott was able to speak somehow, he is always cool headed under pressure, what can I say? Even that trait is attractive.

"Can I do something for you Hank?"

Imagine me huddled behind Scott, like a very shy child being introduced to some of their parents friends... only half naked.

Hank had actually taken a couple steps back, looking amused yet equally embarrassed. He stood there his head half cocked, looking at our fearless leader while trying to ignore my very bare legs that were sticking past Scott's. I brought them in quickly, something that actually made the Doctor chuckle.

Finally he decided to say what he came down to the subbasement for.

"Yes, I was looking for a power drill.. I knew you would be the one to ask..." He coughed slightly as he backed up a little. "But I'll come back later."

Scott couldn't just let him leave.

"No that is ok.. I have one right over here.."

That was when I screeched rather loud and shrill, for Scott had actually started to walk away from me, which would have left me quite exposed. Doctor or not he had no need to see that much of me.


He had the decency to stop.

"Perhaps you should just tell me where it is?" McCoy recommended, appearing more than ready to part from the little scenario he had trapped himself in.

Scott told him where it was, him rotating around slowly so that I was always behind.

Ok now I am blushing.

The Doctor found the stupid thing soon enough, and finally left, chuckling once more on his way down the ramp. Right away I pushed Scott from me. Grabbing the rest of my clothes off the cockpit floor.

"Scott y'didn't even think to close and lock the door?!" I bellowed, throwing all the blame on him, and feeling quite good about doing so.

He turned to me, watching me get dressed with obvious interest. Shrugging his shoulders.

"What can I say I was occupied."

He came toward me slowly, his rather lustful look increasing ten fold as he stopped me from buttoning up the rest of my shirt with his right hand.

"But I promise to this time."

His other hand forming a fist, slamming against a button on the wall behind him. The ramp retracting inwards as the door slid shut, a click proceeding the action.

"I thought you wanted to upgrade the computer's navigation system before Storm left tonight!"

He smiled at me, slowly unbuttoning my shirt. His fingers grazing my skin. I shivered.

"It can wait."

I agreed with him soon enough.

So that part of our relationship is beyond and way past blindly staggering. I am working on the sharing part, and trying to spend more time with my friends. I am ashamed to say that they kinda faded into the background after our return.. speaking of that..

Bobby was gone when Scott and I came back; Kitty told me he had decided it was time to do some college tours. But then she grabbed onto my arm, pulling me through the hallway and around a corner where nobody was.

"To tell you the truth, he was quite affected by the announcement of you and Scott getting married.. Never seen someone turn so white before.."

I don't know if she thought that was going to make me feel better or what. The rational, totally logical part of my brain felt him feeling that was beyond a waste, and told me not to dwell on it. For after all, I have no regrets, and am quite happy how things turned out. In fact, in a way he helped me, his actions pushing me towards someone who I feel more and more blessed to have as a major part of my life.. every day.

Haven't heard from Bobby since, except through excerpts as someone talks about something they read from an e-mail he sent to them or phone calls they had gotten from him. I am sure college will be good for him, he can hopefully find someone who will appreciate him. I would like that for him...

Jubilee had the opportunity to hold a major grudge against me for sorta ignoring her for, well, about the first month of my marriage. But she was actually quite understanding. Our first time going out again after I returned, we did a little shopping and ending up at a cafe. I sorta apologized for my neglect on her. She just gave me one of her knowing smiles.

"Sex must be fantastic." She looked at me with those imploring eyes of hers, begging for details. For once I decided not to let her down.

"Incredible and mind numbin' is more like it!" I couldn't believe I said that, and with Jubilee's wide open mouth she hadn't been expecting it either.

We both started to laugh...

I started teaching Tai Chi again, and training even more with Lee. I felt a little rusty after being out of it for a couple months, so when Lee actually told me I seemed more focused, I couldn't help but be taken aback.

On a side note.. I had felt saddened that Gambit's staff had been destroyed; I had really liked that thing. So when Scott made a surprise of one of them to me one day I was beyond thrilled. It wasn't exactly the same; in fact it was a little thinner and lighter, but it was also more maneuverable, and felt fluid with my movements, as if it was made just for me.. Of course Scott let me know later on that it actually was.

"Gambit isn't the only one capable of getting custom weapons."

In between lessons, Logan and I somehow got in the habit of doing danger room sessions together; him instructing me on different techniques, ones that were a little more brutal and debilitating. I saw when that started up Scott became increasingly defensive.

"What can he teach you that Lee or I can't?" Scott asked me one day during one of our sparring matches. Something that had increased in number after our marriage. Somehow I had managed to get three private teachers, all I had to do was lose my powers.

After he asked me that, I made sure to have someone in the room with Logan and myself. Like I said I am still getting used to this marriage thing, and it didn't dawn on me how potentially inappropriate what I was doing until Scott asked me that question.

Logan noticed immediately.

"Afraid of being alone with me or something Marie?"

"Well Jubilee wanted t'train also." I told him, unable to look in his eyes.

"And the real answer behind that feeble excuse for one?"

I had been sitting on the bench, Logan standing in front of me, Jubilee stretching on the mat a little ways from us. She got up and started to come toward us, but Logan, suddenly turned; he must have given her some look because she stopped in her tracks, backed up and went back to stretching, but not before offering me an interested look.

"Scott feel threatened by me or something?" Logan continued to probe rather harshly. Making me flinch.

"No!" I told him with force behind my words. "Y'don't want t'do this anymore just tell me!" I got off the bench, my hands on my hips, my anger flaring. Daring him to push me any further.

He narrowed his eyes, looking at me rather intently, as if he was trying to see inside of me. He seemed to give up.

"You want me to train firecracker as well... Fine!.." He huffed loudly." But don't blame me if she hurts herself or something."


I could have told Logan, could have explained to him, but I didn't want to. Somehow saying something that had anything to do with the truth was just a little too much for me at the time..

Now to get back towards more of the present time..

So the Professor is still gone, and Scott has had so much on his plate lately; him watching over the school, teaching, fixing things and everything else.. Our time together, especially over the last month has become increasingly smaller.

Ororo has been a rather large help though, letting Scott have breaks in between. Still doesn't feel like enough. Sometimes I almost wish that he never decided to take on all that responsibility again.. I have barely seen him this week; we have only eaten together twice so far. But that is going to change. Even if we have to make some sort of schedule..

I have been assisting him with organizing things; something I have found I am quite good at.. files, activities.. just ask Mrs. Summers.. But still even while I am helping him, it isn't exactly quality time, not when he is busy with something himself... Not to say that we haven't had our moments together, they do pop up here and there, bound to. And I have found I am really good at distracting him.. Something I have realized more and more..

Coming into one of his classes, sitting on the back table as I waited for Scott to finish teaching for the day. My neck hurting, my hands going behind my head as I rubbed my skin, massaging it with my fingers. Closing my eyes as I listened to Scott's soothing voice, only to find that he wasn't speaking. A sentence he had been in the middle of ending incomplete and broken..

My eyes snapping open. Scott looking at me, drinking me in.. His gaze drifting slowly over me... One that was filled with sudden need.

"Mr Summers?" One of his student's spoke up, a soft inquiring girlish voice.

The moment breaking temporarily as Scott took in a deep breath. Turning to a young girl with soft blue hair and darkly tanned skin.

"Yes Samantha?" His voice was strained and low.

"You were going to tell us the main reason the Roman empire fell.. but you sorta.. just stopped.."

Scott spared me a rather impish look, before turning his attention back to his students.

"That's because you guys are going to figure that out yourselves, when you read chapters thirty through thirty three.." He closed the book he had been holding in his hands with a snap. Some loud groans in the room following after. "And for homework tonight I want you to write at least a one page report of what you believe was the catalyst for the Roman's demise.. " Yet more groans, that were stifled with what Scott said next.

"And I am going to give you a head start; with class ending early today.."

"But we still have forty minutes left!" A hesitant voice said from the back of the room.

"You'll have even less if you keep arguing with me."

They got the idea soon enough, scrambling in an excited manner as they gathered up their things, leaving in a whirlwind of papers and remarks.

And then it was just Scott and I staring at each other over the expanse of the classroom. The distance closing between us until we were right in front of one other. Expectancy rising quickly and then crashing just as suddenly. One of his students returning, oblivious to what he had just interrupted as he started to ask questions pertaining to the just assigned homework.. Yet another hindrance...

The Professor better come back soon. But at least summer break is coming soon.

We manage going to church here and there, but we have had to watch more and more of it over the Internet, or on TV. Sometimes I force Jubilee to go with me, which is a rather arduous task; most of the time she won't even go with me unless I promise her a meal afterwards. One that must have desert... Thought of asking Kitty, but she is Jewish and probably wouldn't be thrilled with the idea.

Scott just has to free up more of his time!

It was yesterday after I had just finished my Tai Chi class, when I had noticed Scott behind all the students, hadn't even seen him there until everyone else cleared out. He had been leaning against a tree watching me for what looked like a while, and I hadn't even known.. That would have never happened when I had.. ok not digressing again!...


I walked over to him, planting a small kiss on his mouth.



"What'cha doing here?"

His face brightened at my question.

"I had some free time.. " He leaned down and grabbed something on the other side of the tree, I saw it was a small wrapped box. He handed it out towards me. Scott is always buying and surprising me with stuff. Something I really like.

"Happy six month anniversary Marie."

I took it from him, not expecting that. My mouth slightly parted. It was three days early.


He nodded toward the wrapped package.

"Go ahead open it."

So I did. I went from pleased, to completely confused when I saw what it held. A astoundingly beautiful emerald green necklace with matching earrings.

Here is the thing, while I had shared a lot with Scott; certain things about my past still hadn't been brought up, asked, or conversed about; oddly enough one of those things being about my birth date... Why I even started lying about it in the first place.. Although it was probably because it had a personal tie to a life that I was trying to forget about..

"How did y'know?"

He looked a little perplexed for a moment. So I added to my question.

"Emerald.. May.. How did you know I was born in May?"

I knew there was many logical explanations; Scott was no fool, could have found it out some way.. although I had fudged that truth on many a legal document, something that had become a habit when I left home, one that stayed with me..

Why it had to be that answer.

"I called your parents."

I nearly dropped the jewelry. Scott catching it rather deftly before it hit bottom.


"You DID WHAT!?"

"I called your parents." He repeated again, not fully understanding the weight behind what he was saying.

And that I am afraid to admit, is when I became absolutely and completely livid.

You think I would have gotten this whole forgiveness thing down pat, especially with my faith preaching it so abundantly.. but bring up my parents and suddenly any sense of rationality went straight out of me. And mix them with the fact that my husband went behind my back and contacted them. and well.. believe me NOT A GOOD THING.

I raged for a good ten minutes.. not letting Scott get in a word, him unable to stop me. Somehow he finally got through to me. Probably helped that he took hold of me and shook me until I quieted somewhat.

"I called them.. but they didn't want to talk to me.." There was bitterness in his tone; a sudden glimmer of understanding in his voice of why I had been so upset. His voice softened. "but I finally was able to reach your Grandmother.."

I heard what he was saying, it went through into my conscious perception. And that was when I started to cry.

Out of frustration, out of relief or despair.

"Marie?" He tentatively tried to grab one of my hands, but I backed away from him.

"I.. I can't talk to you right now Scott... I just can't believe you did that without asking me how I felt first.."

He started to say something to that, but I found my legs were moving.. I had to get away from him..

I felt betrayed.

It only took a couple hours after that for me to calm down; of course when that happened I started to see things from his standing point, knowing I had more that overreacted, I had exploded. And suddenly lying there on our bed, in the silence of our room, I started to wonder about my Grandmother, maybe even my parents and what was said between them and Scott.

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Marie.. "

I knew I was feeling better when I was able to smile at the fact that Scott was knocking on his own door.. to be let in... for I had locked it. I let him sweat for a minute or so. I couldn't help it, sometimes those evil little tendencies still shine through.

Finally I let him in, neither of us saying anything. Just trying to figure out how the other was feeling at the moment.

"I'm sorry."

We both said at practically the same time. Almost sounding like there had been an echo.

"I should have known that would upset you, I just was so focused on trying to surprise you with something special that I.."

"It's ok Scott, I understand why y'did it.."

"Does that mean you forgive me?"

I bit my lip, my head downcast.

"If y'forgive my little.. explosion.."

We slowly drifted into conversation; one that even led to being about my family. Scott and I resting on the bed with one another. Our hands entangled, bodies close. Seems my parents had moved away from Mississippi not long after I left.. And Scott hadn't really said much of anything to them, since they hung up on him the moment he said who he was. As for my Grandmother, he told me that she had actually been trying to find me... Although she had been rather reluctant talking to a stranger on the phone, yet Scott still managed to get her to converse; I guess telling her he was my husband didn't hurt, although how he managed to convince her of that fact.. is I guess another one of his gifts.. Anyway.. Seems she wants to see me.. well actually both of us..

"Did y'say we would?" I tensed up at that question, hoping he answered in the way I needed him to.

Scott spoke slowly, obvioulsy percieveing that how he answered was very important. Yet I could tell he was sure he did the right thing, at least in that instance.

"I told her I had to talk it over with you.."

I sighed with relief.

"I think I would like t'see her Scott.. "

"Then we will." There was a small pause on his part, as if he was deliberating something. "So you really aren't mad at me anymore?"

"I told y'I wasn't."

So does that mean.." He pulled on me a little, whispering in my ear.

I couldn't help but laugh at what he suggested.

"At this rate you're going t'get bored of me before Christmas."

"Not likely." He said seriously before his tone drifted into near shyness. "Does that mean yes?"

I got up off the bed, standing and stretching slowly. One of my hands going towards Scott's leg, a finger drifting down the length of it.

"What do y'say we talk about that in the shower?"

Scott jumped off the bed, grabbing me and throwing me over his shoulder.

"Now you're talking!"

I found I was laughing once more..

2:29 AM

I can't believe.. Last night.. I mean.. I think.. and Scott.. and..

I think my mutation is coming back.

It's weak, barely a low murmur of power inside of me.. and yet it's there. At first I thought it was my imagination, but then when I fell asleep I dreamt all right.. only they weren't my dreams, and weren't anything to do with my memories. They were Scott's.

So soon.

I didn't think.. I mean I thought.. but I didn't believe that.. so soon!

I am trembling right now, my eyes are fuzzy and typing this with Scott sleeping in our bed behind me, is... hard.

But you know what...

For once.. just once..

Of course my mind drifts to the temporary cure that McCoy made, but he was only able to make so much of it, and he wouldn't be able to get more of the original cure to make more of his watered down version, since it is illegal and ...

But maybe.. And..

No! My mutation is not going to control my life!

Nor the way I live..

And it still could be quite some time before it comes back into full swing.

I really need to pray... but it's hard.. and can you pray away something that is like an appendage? No? Then how about for some kind of control!? God?

I have to see Doctor McCoy...

But first Scott.. I need to wake up Scott.. for I can't get back into bed with him without .. without..

Yet there is something that is keeping me from really panicking, knowledge that is more than just much needed comfort.

The fact that I don't have to face this alone...

Not anymore.


Well this is it. The end. Only took about 2 years of my life. Thank you to all of you loyal readers who stuck through this till it was complete.. I hope it was, well, enjoyable.. :) And maybe just a little different..

So glad it is done.. That's what I get for having to write a plot with character exploration, to go with a romance, as I tried to give it a little more depth...

A part of me still can't believe it is over. :(

I sorta have a mind of a short follow up sequel, but I have other things I want to focus on writing for a while.. and not sure if I will ever do that, so no promises..

Well, maybe I will see some of you guys during future stories I write..