Disclaimer: Is this stupid thing even necessary? Whatever, in any case, I don't own Kim Possible and am not making a profit on this fanfiction.
Summary: Shego can't really be considered Kim's "darker half" anymore if Kim becomes her own. Read it and satisfy the confusion.
CHAPTER 1: The Scheme of All Schemes
"AAARRRRGGHH!" A mental blue man fumed, his knees thrown to the ground. Where once stood a glorious palace, there was now only rubble—another perfect, evil laboratory in ruins, all thanks to who else, but The Kim Possible. Anguish is to witness one's life's work stomped out by a teenage girl, time and time again.
"Honestly, I don't know what you were expecting, Dr. D. You must have realized that we have this pattern going on with Possible by now," spoke his beautiful—and deadly—henchwoman, Shego. "You build something new and completely ridiculous, she and buffoon show up, we fight, they destroy your machine and you get taken off to prison. Which, by the way, means we should probably get out of here." Indeed, sirens could be heard faintly in the background.
"Must you speak to me this way right now, Shego? Can you not see that I am grieving?!"
"You know sympathy costs extra."
Drakken did not seem to hear her. He rocked on his knees, cradling and stroking the remains of some unidentifiable object in his arms. This was all very familiar to Shego - his typical reaction to yet another defeat.
"I don't understand," he whined, every word dripping with desperation. "I wasn't even prepared to use the unleash my plot yet this time! She didn't even give me a chance! Can she not just leave me alone?"
"Well, I doubt that she would just sit around and wait for you to fire up a machine that would swap the emotions of anyone within a hundred-thousand mile radius, or whatever it was supposed to accomplish" Even Shego had to admit that the idea itself, from what she had gathered, was a pretty good one. Those you loved would then be those you hated, those who made you happy would make you miserable, that sort of thing. That could have caused some serious chaos, or something.
"Even so Shego, there has to be some sort of law against this! Breaking and entering, disturbing the peace, vandalism, SOMETHING? SHE CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!" Drakken was almost pleading with Shego now, and it unnerved her a little bit.
"She can, she did, and she always will." She said flatly. "Come on, Dr. D., we'll try again next week! But really, right now, we are leaving. The GJ should be here any--"
"Don't move! You are surrounded by Global Justice and are under arrest! Put your hands in the air! Any attempt to resist arrest marks a warrant for retaliation!"
"—minute. There, are you happy now? Because of your whining I need to use force to get us out of this mess." She spoke as if she was frustrated, but the devilish grin on her face betrayed her remark. For the skilled fighter, there's a certain thrill in being outnumbered, the rush of seemingly insurmountable odds. Shego slipped gracefully into a battle stance, and gleamed at the GJ, silently challenging them.
"Just get us out of here, Shego. I am not in the mood for this." Drakken said quietly.
"Alright," Normally, Shego would tell him to shove it, but it was plain to see that her boss was in low spirits and she kind of pitied him.
Shego turned her attention back to the task at hand surveyed the men around her; like a cat bracing for its next, here she was in her element. Sixteen of them, all armed and fully loaded, and they were approaching very slowly. She stood up fully, as if in surrender. The GJ visibly relaxed a bit; a premature and foolish mistake. With all the grace and agility of a python snapping at it's prey, Shego shot two plasma shots at the ground right in front of the GJ, effectively creating a huge smoke-screen. She ran to Dr. Drakken and lifted him on one shoulder where he just dangled limply.
"Hang tight, Dr. D., we'll be out of here in a second."
All it took was that second before the Global Justice began open fire, but by that time it was too late—Shego had jumped with the force of a catapult and landed on a GJ vehicle, sprung off it, and disappeared easily into the distance.
"Come on, you can't just keep moping around like this. The world isn't going to take itself over!" Shego had been trying for weeks to get Drakken out of bed to design some sort of stupid device, or have her steal some outrageous technology, but the most he would send her our to get was chicken-noodle soup and animal crackers. While the break wasn't completely unwelcome, Shego still found this to be a waste of her many talents.
"And for what, Shego? Spend months, and millions, building a brilliantly complicated machine so Kim Possible can swoop in, beat you, and destroy it before I even have a chance to turn it on? I just don't have it in me anymore!"
Shego ignored his melodramatic rant and snapped, "She does so not beat me! We stalemate every time!"
"Have we conquered the world yet, Shego?"
"That's not even--"
"Exactly, she beats you."
"Uh, no, I do my part just fine. It you who she defeats," Shego's tone took on it's characteristic ill-tempered passion. Not what was going to get Drakken out of bed, but he just managed to piss her off. Kim Possible does not "beat" her.
"Oh, really? Shego? Opportunities arrive one after another for you to just finish her, Shego, to just end her! Yet somehow, every time, she manages to slip away and stop me! You have her at gunpoint every time, figuratively speaking, and yet she rises to the top and wins! If I didn't know you better, I'd say you weren't even—"
Shego knew where he was going with this before he even finished his sentence.
"…trying." Drakken blinked and stared at her.
"Don't even go there, Drakken." But it was too late. Drakken's eyes grew impossibly wide.
"Has this been you the whole time, Shego? Are YOU my real enemy? Have you been working for Team Possible, been planted here to foil my plans, been working to--" And then he had a glowing green substance hotter than fire directly in his face.
"You had better stop there, old man" Shego growled.
"Fine, fine, I'm sorry, Shego, just don't do anything hasty," Drakken recoiled as fast as he had accused her. After a moment Shego put out her plasma and lowered her hand. She crossed her arms and said nothing. "But what do you WANT me to think? Answer my questions! How does Kim Possible enter a battle with you and live to tell about it….Every—single—time?"
Shego turned her back to him. Why didn't she kill Kim Possible? Simple—because she didn't want Kim Possible dead.
After minutes of silence Shego spoke something very quietly, it was hardly a mumble.
"What was that, Shego? What are you saying?"
Shego span around, "I said that I'm not…I'm not a murder. I won't kill someone."
Drakken stared in surprise. "That's ridiculous! You actually expect me to believe those lies? After all the men I've seen you fight—"
"--you can't name one who is dead," Shego interrupted, "I dare you to try to name even one person that's died by my hand."
No answer from Drakken. As much as he needed to believe that SOMEONE was behind his constant failure to Kim Possible, he couldn't doubt Shego's words. Shego was a hardcore criminal by anyone's standards and wanted all over the globe for many things…but "murder" was not one of them.
"You are right, Shego, I—I apologize." Drakken lowered his head.
Shego's scowl quickly softened. "Hey, no problem, Dr. D. I know you aren't thinking straight right now. Just don't accuse me of betrayal again," she said sternly.
"Jeez, I really hate to see you like this. We've been reduced to being civil, for chirssakes!" Shego threw hands up the air in a gesture of exaggerated exasperation. "I should just kidnap Possible and force her to join us with the threat of killing her parents." Shego chuckled. "I bet she'd come to like the evil side. It'd be like there being two of me." Shego said thoughtfully, and continued to chuckle at the idea that Kim might ever enjoy Shego's company.
"…Shego! Say that again!" Drakken seemed to suddenly perk up. His eyes had a twinkle that had been missing for weeks and Shego could literally see the lightbulb gleaming above his head. This could only mean…
"There will be no cloning of my body. No way, not going to happen."
"No. Say what you said first again."
"Threaten to kill Kim's parents?"
"And force her to go evil….two Shego's….giant ray….an unstoppable duo…" Dr. D. was rambling and Shego knew he was becoming his old self again. Which was a relief because she really didn't enjoy being friendly for too long of a time. Too bad she didn't understand what he was talking about. "Dear god, Shego, you are a genius! You brilliant, brilliant woman! I could kiss you!"
"Okay, one, You are just realizing this? And, two, Don't."
"I must get to work! There is no time to be wasted!" Drakken took a deep breath and let out maniacal laughter that Shego felt like she hadn't heard in ages. "KIM POSSIBLE CAN NEVER STOP ME THIS TIME!"
Oh, the amount of times she had heard that. But this time, Shego let him say it without raining on his parade. He only just got out of bed and put down the animal crackers. Another job well done, she thought, feeling satisfied for the first time in a long time. Now she could take a vacation in peace.
"I'm worried," said the teen-heroine herself, lounging on her bed. "Drakken and Shego have been too quiet for too long."
"I've learned to not question good things, KP." Ron said with a smile.
Kim smiled weakly, catching Ron's double-meaning. They had been dating for a few weeks now, and Ron had been as sweet as ever, but… It wasn't what Kim thought it would be, or what she was looking for. They hadn't even kissed since that first time at the dance…
Ron didn't seem to notice or mind, though. And in reality, he didn't. He only felt lucky that Kim Possible, his best friend since childhood and the prettiest girl in the school actually would call him her boyfriend.
But Kim wanted—needed—the "sparks". And they just weren't there! Even with the upgrade in their relationship status, Kim still felt the same way she always had about Ron—he was loveable, kind, the best friend she would ever have, but they were simply not meant to be lovers. Kim realized this quickly. The tricky part was letting him know how she felt without destroying their friendship.
"But that's just it, Ron—this quiet is too good to be true. They have to be cooking something up." Kim would only partially admit to herself that she was just frustrated with the state of her romantic relationship, and, all pent up with frustration, needed to take it out somehow. And truly, in Kim's experience there was no better what to release any negative energy then by fighting her arch-nemisis. But where is she?
"Aw, I wouldn't worry; they are probably just recuperating from their latest humiliating defeat."
"Yeah…yeah, I guess you are probably right." She sounded unconvinced.
"Of course I am. Now who's up for nacos!" Ron yelled, pumping his fist in the air and high-fiving Rufus, his pet naked mole rat.
"I am," said Kim, with as much enthusiasm as a child going to the dentist. She sighed and gazed out the window of her room. Shego…what are you planning now?
It was crazy. Completely implausible. It could never, possibly work! Drakken had really outdone himself this time—his latest scheme, that took him a full month to concoct, was totally stark-raving mad. Shego didn't even fully understand this one.
"Okay…Run by me one more time what this thing is supposed to do?" She said, raising an eyebrow skeptically at the device in Drakken's hand. It was shaped as a gun, clearly another "ray" of some sort, roughly the shape and size of a .50 Desert Eagle.
Drakken spoke excitedly, "It begins by separating DNA strands and the molecular—Oh, don't worry yourself with the science of it, Shego! Just know that with this ray, Kim Possible will be no more!"
"We talked about this. I hope you don't expect me to—"
"Oh, no no no, of course not!" Drakken said hurriedly, waving his hands, "What I mean is that the Kim Possible as we know her will be no more!"
"Were you not paying attention to the charts?" Shego stared at him. "Ah, yes, of course not. Well anyway…what this little device will do… is create for me….two. Kim. Possibles." He spoke with such pride, as if he was expecting a ribbon and a pat on the head. Alas, he was met with a long, painful pause.
"Uhhh….Dr. D., didn't you already try cloning Kim? We know that didn't work out. More than one Kim equals definitely bad," Yup, he was off his rocker, alright. Forgetting past schemes! Oh well, only a matter of time before Shego could be signed as his legal caregiver and gain control of all his assets…
"Ahh, you have one part right: We want her bad. But you misunderstand, Shego, for I will not be cloning Kim Possible…"
"Alright, enough with the whole 'vague' thing."
Drakken ignored her statement. "…I will be separating her," his voice dropped to become low and dark.
"Yeees…?" Drakken squealed excitedly.
"That sounds absolutely disgusting."
"What? NO! Shego! I will be separating Kim into two very distinct and physically whole," he said with a sneer, "beings! Call it 'The Ying-Yang' effect, if you will!"
Call it "Lame," if you will, thought Shego snidely. Still, she couldn't wait to hear the bogus reasoning behind this one.
A/N: There you have it, a simple enough beginning chapter, merely to set the stage. Also the start of my first KP fanfic. I don't normally like to write things so dialogue-driven, but I want this to read a lot like the show - light and easy, entertaining, even fun. Criticize me, I am a tough noob.