DISCLAIMER: yes, it is I, the genius who created these characters! …. Not really.
NOTE: I don't know a thing about hospitals or pagers, so excuse my ignorance.
SPOILERS: 'Role Model', which is where I got the quotes from in the first part. I was writing from memory, too, so if they're not exact, that's why. Maybe some spoilers for 'Kids', as well.
Dr Greg House froze, his eyes fixed on the young woman on the opposite side of his living room.
"Why?" he shot back before he allowed her words to sink in.
Dr Cameron dropped her gaze to the floor, fishing for an answer. Before she could find one, House was closing the gap between them, leaning heavily on his cane.
"Is this another noble, self sacrificing gesture? You protecting Foreman?" he was face-to-face with her now. "Or is it just 'don't fire me, I quit'?" He allowed his eyes to wander over her petite features, feeling particularly drawn to her large blue-grey eyes, strengthened by the blue sweater she was wearing. Her reply caught him a little off-guard.
"I'm protecting myself." House waited for her to elaborate, which she did. "You asked me why I like you," Cameron's voice was barely above a whisper, and a small smile of amusement played on her mouth. Her voice gained strength as she continued. "You're abrasive and rude, but I figured everything you do, you do it to help people. But I was wrong. You do it because it's right" she held a small, slender hand out to him, as a kind of peace gesture. House glanced at it, then looked away
Why is she doing this? Of all the thoughts racing through his head, this one stood out the most. He couldn't bring himself to take her hand, instead focusing on a discarded TV guide a few feet away.
What, you can't even shake her hand? That little voice he often chose to ignore was incredulous. She's leaving your life forever and you're either too stubborn or afraid to give her ONE handshake? She's baring her soul and you can't even offer her your HAND? Out the corner of his eye House saw her arm drop back to her side. Too late.
Cameron was speaking again, the hurt clear in her voice. "There are only two ways I can deal with things. One is in my control, and that's to leave." Her voice was hushed in an attempt to keep it even. "Goodbye House." And with that, she was gone.
House remained rooted to the spot, his head still bowed. He had lost interest in the TV guide a long time ago. Part of him wanted to (figuratively) run after her, take BOTH her hands and persuade her not to leave, but he had long since buried that part of him.
His home was suddenly too quiet, too lonely. The warmth that Cameron brought to it was gone, leaving only coldness in its wake. Even that annoying voice in his head had silenced. Probably refusing to speak with him.
Although it was still quite early, House was exhausted. He made his way to his bedroom, fully aware that, despite his weariness, sleep would not come easily.
He had just dozed off when his pager pierced through the empty silence. "If this is Cuddy's idea of a joke…" he grumbled menacingly as he switched the lamp on.
'Get your ass here. Urgent' the pager read.
Whatever it is, it can wait. If it were really serious, she would have called, he convinced himself. As he was switching the lamp off, the phone rang. He let the machine get it. Unsurprisingly, Cuddy's voice sounded through the hall from the living room.
"House! I know you can hear me!" There was urgency in her voice that sent a trickle of dread crawling down his spine. "Listen, you have to get down here. It's Cameron." The message ended. The trickle became a wave of chills pouring down his back, and his heart was thumping in his ears.
House was out of bed and pulling on clothes before his leg had a chance to complain. When it did, he fished around for some Vicodin while grabbing his keys. He usually had no trouble dry swallowing the pills, but his throat wasn't working, so he made a detour and gulped some water from the kitchen before heading out the door as fast as he could manage.
Cuddy was waiting for him at the hospital's entrance. House skipped the formalities. "Where is she?"
"In the OR. She had a car accident" Cuddy grabbed House's arm as he moved away. "House," He turned to the administrator and his heart sank.
"They couldn't save her."
All colour drained from his face, and he was bathed in a cold, clammy sweat. It couldn't be, no, not Cameron.
"I wanna see her." His voice sounded distant, and alien. He was numb. Cuddy nodded and led the way to the operating room. They must have made a mistake he thought, but without conviction. He entered the silent room, and Cuddy waited outside.
But as he approached the table, there was no mistake. There, on the table, was Allison Cameron. Reality hit him like a ton of bricks.
Apart from the large purplish bruise on her temple, she could have been sleeping. But the warmth that one felt when in her presence was gone. Her delicate, angelic features were cold and frozen, like that of a porcelain doll. Her soulful blue-grey eyes were trapped behind closed lids. Cuddy walked in quietly, and stood behind House. He didn't acknowledge her presence.
"She collided with an SUV. They tried, but it was a brain haemorrhage that killed her. They couldn't do anything." When House remained silent, she turned and left.
Not three hours ago Cameron had been standing in his living room, radiant and full of life. Now she was lying on a table, pale and lifeless. Had she known how final her goodbye really was? Is this what the little voice meant?
House could see her driving home with tears coursing down her cheeks, raising her hand to wipe them away, and realising as a car horn sounded that she couldn't stop in time. He could see the expression of pure shock and terror carved onto her innocent face, and her eyes screw shut as she waited for the inevitable. Did her life flash before her eyes? Did she have any regrets? Did she think of him?
A lump rose in his throat as he stroked her soft cheek, the reached down to take her hand. "I'm sorry" he choked.
It was cruel that she should be taken, her life ended so abruptly. He couldn't help but feel responsible. Right now he would give anything to see her alive again, even for a minute.
He had always denied his feelings, and hers. He turned one of her flaws into an excuse for her feelings, and let his flaws get in the way of his own. His brains told him it was inappropriate, she was too young, they work together, and that he was unsuitable for her. He let his head rule over his heart, and now she was dead. He would never see her alive again, never hear her laugh, see her smile, smell her hair, or feel her heart beat against his.
He closed his eyes and lay his head on her chest, getting one last feel of her before her body was taken away too.
Suddenly a hand gripped his leg, and blue-grey eyes stared into his own.
House sat up in bed, drenched with sweat, breathing deeply in an attempt to silence the drumming in his ears that was his racing heart. His knees were weak, and pain flared in his thigh. He reached for some Vicodin. A dream, it was all a dream.
However, his relief was short-lived when he remembered that Cameron had quit the previous night. She may not be dead, but she was gone. He got up to prepare for work. Things just wouldn't be the same without her.
A week later the dream was still fresh in his head. He made up his mind – he needed her. Maybe she needed him, who knows. But he needed her. While she was gone something was missing, and it wasn't just her skills as a doctor. Did he care for her? It would seem that way. Did he love her? Time would tell. Things will be difficult for him, but he'll manage. He had unresolved issues that would need his attention, but without question – he was going to get her back. He wanted her back.
And so he found himself rapping on her apartment door with his cane the next morning. When she answered, his face softened. He looked into her eyes, and he felt a surge of confidence and hope for the future. And he made his decision. She was coming back.
A/N so... tell me what you think! its my first fan fic so be gentle. you might have read before that i was asking for some opinions about adding some more chapters, sorry but i've gone ahead and written them! i'm typing them up we speak. expect an update REAL soon. but if there's a little arrow-button thing at the bottom right of your screen, click it! CLICK IT NOW! im trying to write the story and then post it so you dont have to wait, but i havent quite finished the last chapters. enjoy.