Disclaimer: No, I do not own Sailor Moon. But me 'n' Naoko Takeuchi are working it out!
Hope you like this insanely weird and hopefully funny fanfic."Things Just Keep Getting Weirder"
The ear-shattering screaming noise was heard all throughout the Chiba apartment; one not used to the decibels of it could find themselves with permanent hearing loss.
Serena groaned, pulling the pillow over her ears in a vain attempt to block out her 5-month-old daughter's crying. Man, did that Rini have a good set of lungs!
"It's your turn," she mumbled to her husband, Darien, giving him a nudge.
"Wha…?" Darien mumbled, pretending he didn't hear her, pillow also over his head. Serena scowled, hitting him with her pillow.
"It's your turn! I got up last night," Serena whined.
"I'm so tired," Darien mumbled, eyes drooping.
"Excuse me, Mr., but I'm Princess of the Moon and I demand you!" Serena ordered, irritated.
"Well I'm Prince of the Earth and I say no," Darien shot back. Serena put on a sad face and her puppy dog eyes in a vain attempt to win this every-night occurring battle.
"Please," she begged. Darien just crumbled, as always.
"I guess," he said, giving his Meatball Head a peck on the forehead. Serena smiled.
"Darien doesn't have to, we'll get Rini," a voice said. Serena turned around, confused, seeing four shadowed figures.
"Amy? Raye? Lita? Mina?"
"Sailor Scouts at your service," Sailor Mars said with a smile.
"Er…What are you doing in Darien's and my bedroom?" Serena questioned, trying to sound polite and keep the annoyance out of her voice. "And…uh…why're you transformed? Is there an enemy around?"
"The enemy around here is sleep loss and we plan to destroy it," Sailor Venus said in a would-be noble and determined voice. The Scouts ran into Rini's bedroom and Serena raced off after them. Darien, however, took the opportunity as a welcome and drifted back off to sleep.
Rini's crying had subsided and had ensued into giggles. Serena opened the door whilst the Scouts stood tense like a bomb was going to go off any minute, in battle stance.
"What's going on in here, Rini-kins….OH MY GOD!" Rini was floating above her crib, cooing and giggling. Serena could only stand opened mouthed, not sure what to do. God, this was odd… A tap on her shoulder and she turned around, now wondering how weird things were gonna get.
"Mom?" Mama Ikuko stood in the doorway, smiling away and offering Serena a batch of homemade cookies.
"Have a cookie Serena," she encouraged sweetly.
"Don't mind if I do," Serena answered happily, grabbing the whole thing and scarfing it down. She made a face immediately after.
"These taste like Luna's cat litter," she said.
"My secret main ingredient," Ikuko responded, beaming. Serena felt like barfing up all those cookies now.
"So….uh…Mom… how'd ya get here exactly?" Serena asked briskily, trying to lighten the situation.
"Same way the Scouts did," Ikuko replied in a slightly singsong voice.
"And that would be how?" pressed Serena.
"I flew," she said with a shrug. Serena almost fainted. Suddenly Luna came running forward
"Luna, did you know Mom uses your cat litter for cookies?" Serena exclaimed.
"I know. She's Sailor Cat Litter," Luna responded. "Daijoubo?" Serena stared at Luna blankly. Boy, Luna had flown out a window and landed in the loony bin.
"Have you taken a visit to Crazyland, Luna?" Serena asked gingerly "And everyone else too?".
"Je ne sais pas," Luna replied.
"Luna? I didn't know you could speak French," Serena said.
"Believe it," Luna firmly told. Suddenly there was a humungous crash and a yellow sports car crashed into the wall and went right through.
"Sorry," Sailor Uranus said sheepishly, stepping out. Sailors Neptune, Pluto, and Saturn followed.
"Are we late?" Saturn asked.
"For what?" Serena returned.
"Your birthday party," Pluto answered.
"My birthday was 5 months ago- you should know that Pluto, being the Sailor Scout of Time," Serena stated matter-of-factly. She stared at the ruined wall, suddenly realizing something. They were at least 20 stories up; how was Uranus' car up here?
"We flew," Uranus said, almost knowing Serena's question.
"WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND FLYING TODAY?" Serena yelled angrily.
"Tonight," corrected Mercury, perfectionist as usual. Serena shot Mercury a look.
"Why do you ask, Serena? Your mind's always in the clouds," Mars coaxed, just asking for their usual argument. Serena shot a Mars a look; and if looks killed, Mars would be dead, buried, and rotting and decomposing in her grave.
"I've got to be dreaming, this isn't real," Serena moaned, head in her hands. Someone tapped her foot. Serena looked down. Baby Rini was on the ground (finally) and had a silly little smile on her face.
"You got it, Mommy!" she said, and Serena screamed.
"How the HECK did you learn to talk? You're only 5 months old!" Rini giggled, then snapped her fingers. The world turned black to Serena's vision, then a crying noise was heard faintly, getting louder and louder….
Serena's eyes opened, and she turned to her husband who was fast asleep, oblivious to their daughter's crying. Serena glanced around the room. No Sailor Scouts, and no Mom with cat litter cookies.
"What a weird dream," Serena whispered.
"I'll say. You had too much pie last night, Serena," Luna said wisely from her corner, curled up.
"And you talk too much in your sleep. Cat litter cookies, my God Serena," she said with a shake of her head.
Funny? Insanely boring? Mediocre! Please please review, it will make my day!