A/N: Well...Let's see...it seems that sipping on Coke Zero has produced this: Chapter 3. Wow, who ever thought that they could get the taste of a Diet Coke to taste like Coke? Why didn't they think of that earlier! Also, WHERE HAS ALL THE LEMONY PEPSI GONE! I actually liked that flavour...even if it was from Pepsi.../goes to a corner to sulk at the injustice of it all/

Disclaimer: Same as the chapter before, I don't own anything!

Pairings: Hmm . . . . if you've guessed it by now then I don't really need to say right?

Warnings: Hmm . . . . yes, I think I'll up the rating now.

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Chapter 3: Bath Houses

The whole world seemed to have gone black and white as a cold Southerly wind rushed past the small distance between the two shinobis standing at the Uchiha doorway.

"It's . . . ah . . . no–" But before the Uchiha could explain himself, the blond had disappeared and was gone like today was the last day ramen would be made...ever. Letting out a sigh of thankfulness of not having to deal with the blond straight away, Sasuke tried to control the slight pinking of his checks as he slowly closed the door behind him and leaned his back against the cold wood.

Ugh. Could this day get any worse? I think I'll take that shower first and think about this later.

Dragging his body away from the door, the Uchiha slowly made his way down the hallway with images of a very blushing (but fully clothed) blond flashing repeatedly back to his mind.

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Leaning against his own door, the Kyuubi carrier tried to calm his racing heart which was still running at a zillion miles per hour.

Ho-? . . . E-? . . . Wh-?. . . .!

Were the only thoughts that had managed to get through the mumble jumble of the blond's shell-shocked brain. Sliding down to sit at the foot of the door, the dishevelled jounin tried to regain his senses after what appeared to be a horrible nightmare.

Ok, keep calm Naruto. Calm. Breath in, breath out. In. Out. In. Ou-

HELL THE FUCK DID HE GET THAT! I made absolutely, positively, totally, unquestionably, absolutely, surely, positively, definitely, extremely sure that NO ONE finds out about the way I bathe! How the FUCK did that bastard get that unless . . . . !

". . . . . he wants to blackmail me." The blond tensed up at the mere thought as a horrible feeling passed through him. Breathing became a difficulty as air didn't seem to want to come in. In fact, oxygen was becoming scarce.


I-In . . O-O-Out . . I-I-In . . . . . . . O-O-O-Out . . . . . . . . . I-In . . O-Out . In . Out . In . Out-In-Out-In-Ou-

I-I-I need a bath RIGHT NOW!

Staggering back onto shaky feet with the help of the door knob and coat hanger, Naruto slowly and unsteadily made his way towards the bathroom.

Yes, a bath. It would make this entire horrible nightmare go away. Sasuke doesn't know my secret and he won't tell anyone. He won't even blackmail me into doing anything horrible because he doesn't know. He doesn't know Uzumaki Naruto's secret of bathing using a bubble bath solution. He doesn't know about the new jelly type bath solution that I just bought this morning. And he DEFINITELY does NOT know that the next Hokage-to-be likes to bathe in all those scented, soft, bubbly, refreshing, nice bathing solutions! He CANNOT know! NOBODY should know!

"ARGH! Who am I kidding! He knows and he's going to blackmail and tease and humiliate me in front of EVERYONE!"

Slumping down on his knees, the blond jounin sobbed in defeat, grabbing a few strands of his sunshine hair as if it would help him think faster.

"What am I going to do? I really want to take a bath but what if that bastard is here right now taking more evidence!"

A few minutes of pulling at his own hair brought a small light bulb to turn on above the blond's head.

"That's it!" exclaimed the loud fox as one fist meet with a flat palm.

"Heheheheheh. All I have to do is not take a bath and that teme won't be able to get any more evidence so . . . . . . . . I'll just use the public baths from now on!"

In a whoosh of determination and partially patched up dignity, the Kyuubi carrier zipped around his apartment for the necessary bathing supplies and out to the nearest bath house.

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A week later, the number one loud jounin of Konoha found himself sighing unhappily in an empty shower at the bath houses. Sighing unhappily in that this was the seventh day that one blond jounin did not get to take a nice, long, relaxing, stress-free and soothing bath all because of one surviving Uchiha.

Damn that bastard! Doesn't he know that SHOWERS are not the same as HOME BATHS! I can't handle this any longer!

Taking a quick yet thorough scan of the whole shower area and the only half of the changing area that was visible from his viewpoint, the young Uzumaki slowly reached his arm out to the bottle of jelly bath solutions hidden under the white fluffy towel. Hesitating for a millisecond, the slim blond was about to reconsider but his trembling hands had let the small bottle slip with a klank on the tiled floor.

Holding his breath for dear god, Naruto whipped around in panic, expecting to see a certain Uchiha with a camera in hand and snapping away at the evidence lying on the ground.

H-He's not here.

Letting out a breath of relief, the blond reached back down to put the bottle away while trying to calm down his scattered nerves.

It's too dange-

The sweet smell of faint strawberries drifted to the jounin's sensitive nose. The hard tiles had cracked open the bottle's cap top and a creamy white substance started to slowly ooze out of the crack.

". . . . . . ."

"Maybe just a try. Wouldn't hurt right?"

Picking up the bottle, the blond squirted a few of the cool smooth substance on one hand and held it under the spray to gather some water. Placing the bottle upright next to his towel, Naruto lathered up the warming solution with both hands.

"Hmmm . . . . . . . it doesn't look like jelly . . . . but it smells really nice . . . . . does it say jelly only because it feels like jelly?"

Stepping out from the range of the spray, the Kyuubi carrier tested out his theory by applying a few drops on his arm.

"It doesn't feel like jelly . . . . . . maybe I should try it on some other part of my body . . . . . . maybe add a bit more as well . . . . . ."

Pouring half of the now slippery substance in one hand, Naruto bought it up to his chest and slowly dumped the solution on his bare skin. Rubbing it around his chest, the blond bought the other half of the sweet smelling substance and started to rub it along his shoulders and collar bone. The strawberry smelling bath solution easily slipped down the tanned body as a sigh of contentment escaped pinkish lips.

"Ahhhhh . . . . . . . maybe I should try some more . . . ."

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Sasuke made his way down the street in a more than sour mood. The past week had been like a total nightmare from hell. Trying to chase after a loud, obnoxious blond that didn't want you finding him was really grating on the young Uchiha's nerves. Add on top an explanation that wasn't required but needed for one's pride and dignity along with one mundane mission that involved a clingy, snobby rich daughter of a feudal lord and you have one very peeved Uchiha Sasuke . . . . . . stomping his way down the street to the only quiet bath house in the whole of the village.

Once inside the bath house, the Sharingan user made his way swiftly to the changing rooms, stripping off his garments and wrapping a towel securely around his waist. Grabbing a face cloth and a pan, the Uchiha made his way around to the other side of the lockers to the shower area . . . . . . .only to find one very naked Uzumaki Naruto rubbing a creamy white substance with one hand down their torso and the other up over their shoulder.

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Mwahahahaha! Fear the horrible words known as a cliff hanger! (As a side note: I don't know the customs or how a bath house works so this is all make-believe)

Okay, as I was writing this (at 10pm), the Coke Zero was finished at the fourth paragraph...which shows the new Coke Zero doesn't work for me. Sigh. Oh well. But guess what! After I went to bed, I couldn't sleep and THEN, at about 3 in the morning SLAM! I just got hit with how to finish this fic. I now dub this fic, "The 3 AM Curse". So now you can expect a some-what faster update.

Also, the idea of the bath solutions thingy, it came about as a weird idea coz I didn't have anything to work with. The second chapter had just come out on a whim so there wasn't much I could do about that. But, the jelly bath solution...that idea (and now inspiration) came from a one-shot manga that I read and it just fitted perfectly here. Therefore, that jelly bath solution does not belong to me. I can't remember the mangaka (sp?). But I know where scanlations of it are held. So sorry! The mangaka will have to be unknown for now until I can either find it, remember it, get hit by a bus or all three.

But for the meantime . . . . . . . Review!