I have never been a man for disclaimers. I don't read them and I don't expect you to. Plus I believe it says somewhere on the contract you sign with that they get complete access to legal rights involving it. But I may be lying, who knows?
READ ME: I wish to tell of a story that my friend is writing, the diolouge is a little shaky, but he has excellent description. He is new here and his first story has no reviews. LOOK UP the legacy continues by 'leaves in the wind'. Plus I coauthored it. So if you like what I write, you should like what he writes. It's a Naruto Xover with some vampires or something, I didn't get all of the plot.
But now you are free to read, enjoy:
Young Orochimaru had just finished tonight's experiments. The sinister jutsu master glared darkly out into the night. Who knows what twisted things he may be thinking at this time?
"Tsk, I'm never gonna get this blood out from under my nails…" The much-less sinister looking man looked over his nails carefully.
Shit! He'd been found out!
"What blood!" He quickly covered his lab smock with his man-dress/ kimono. Jiraya and Tsunade stood, both holding separate boxes, "Oh, it's you."
He had long since known that those two were clueless. Jiraya had literally seen him covered in dripping blood and thought he had just come back from a mission. Tsunade had some brains, but her blind devotion to Dan stopped any disturbing thoughts about Orochimaru.
"What's up?" Jiraya and Tsunade glanced at each other, then looked back, "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"We've heard rumors Orochimaru." Jiraya said silently, "Disturbing rumors…"
'Oh shit.' Orochimaru glanced left and right nervously, "I don't have any idea what you're talking about."
"The third told us what you've been doing at night."
"And what has he been telling you?"
"Well, not directly telling us. We just heard him saying that he 'couldn't believe you'd be the type of man to experiment like this.' And after a long talk, me and Tsunade realize that…"
"I swear it doesn't mean anything!"
"We're on your side."
"Please don't hurt… say wha?"
"You have to understand that the third comes from an older time, he doesn't understand your experiments."
"That's exactly what I've been saying!"
"I still think it's unnatural," Jiraya looked away from the two of them, "but if this is what you feel you need to do, then I can accept it."
"Guys…" Orochimaru teared up, "We should talk about this in a more secluded area."
"Good idea, to the bar!" Tsunade whipped out her emergency liquor.
"I was thinking more along the lines of the forest, but I don't suppose many people will listen to us there."
"Do you carry that around with you?" Jiraya completely ignored Orochimaru, "You have a problem."
"Don't judge me!"
And so the three leaf sannin walked, hand in hand, to Konoha's place of debauchery and sin, then past the children's center to the bar. Within ten minutes the three most powerful ninja in the village were sitting in the corner booth, taking shots.
"I still can't believe you two understand what I'm doing." Orochimaru's previously pale cheeks were starting to turn pink.
"Everybody experiments in one part of their life." Tsunade poured herself another shot, "Me, I was experimenting every weekend, picking my targets carefully, and working like that."
"I can totally relate."
"I don't know what she's saying." Jiraya snorted drunkenly, "I for one never experimented."
"You're different Jiraya, unhealthily different." Tsunade fumbled with her purse to get more booze money, "Of course, this was before I met Dan and he set me straight."
"Of course, who knows, my experiments may not produce fruit." Orochimaru was slinking back in the booth now, almost out of sight.
"But if they do show you something…" Tsunade cupped Orochimaru's hand, "…"
"We're still your friends." Jiraya finished the sentence and smiled.
"Guys…" Orochimaru teared up again and brought them into a hug.
"And if it doesn't turn out that your gay, that's even better."
"Thanks agai… wait… what?"
"I meant that if it turned out you liked pussy I could hook you up with a girl."
"I'm not gay."
"We realize that." Tsunade still cupped his hand, "You're just experimenting."
'Oh god!' Orochimaru tried to wrench his hand away, but Tsunade had him in an ever-loving death grip, "I'm not gay!"
Shit, he had yelled that last one. Now the bar was silent. Except of course for Jiraya.
"Wait… Then what did the Hokage mean when he said you were experimenting with the men of the village?"
'shitshitshit everyone's looking shitshitshit.' Orochimaru grabbed Jiraya's shoulder and whispered hoarsely, "Shut up!"
"You aren't at a turning point of your life and Tsunade made me buy you a coming out gift!"
'Oh God!' Orochimaru's face had gone beyond red and somewhere at the bar a drunken guy fell of his stool laughing, "Coming out gift?"
"Ya, here. My porn store gets these sometimes." Jiraya pushed his brown package to Orochimaru and peeled back the paper.
''A man's guide to homoerot…. Oh God!' At this point the bar started snickering, "I don't want this!"
"Damn right your gonna take it! I had to steal that because I'm a regular at that store."
'Oh God everyone's looking, how could this get worse?'
"Well, as a medic-nin it's my duty to promote good health," Tsunade brought out her package and placed it on the table, "Make sure both you and your lover wear these."
'OH GOD!' Laughter enveloped the bar, Orochimaru grabbed the table to keep from killing people, "I don't want them…"
"But I got them specially made, their strawberry flavored, you like strawberries."
Everyone in the bar was screaming with laughter, even the deaf-mute boy was pointing and breathing heavy, which is laughter to them.
"Oh God!" Orochimaru had lost all inner monologue, "Let me go Tsunade!"
"We're just trying to tell you that we accept who you are, I've known for a long time that you might be that way."
"I'm not gay!"
Orochimaru couldn't take the laughter anymore! Screw the hand! he'd get a new one from his lab!
"Oro… are you trying to chew off your arm?"
'So close! A few more bites and I'd be free!'
Tsunade was creeped out at this point and decided just to let go of his hand. Orochimaru wasted no time in bolting from there; he jumped on the table, broke the window, and jumped into the forgiving night.
The night wasn't so forgiving however as the porch light came on and it was revealed that Orochimaru had caught his man-dress/kimono on the broken glass.
'shitshitshitshitshit, this is it, I have to leave town!'
And you all know the story from there, Orochimaru was caught leaving by the Hokage and an epic battle ensued. Leaving Orochimaru a missing nin. But some still say, on quiet nights, you can still hear him yelling in the distance.
"I'm not gay…. I'm not gay…"
P.S. the legacy continues -read it now!