Summary: Yeah, yeah, those curveballs life can throw at you… makes life so very interesting. (Rogan)
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Gilmore Girls.
Copyright: Sarah Diaz 2006
Thanks: To Ally, who looked to it that this baby isn't spiked with mistakes. Thanks! You did a great job!
Author's note: Though I'm obviously crazy to start yet another story, I just couldn't resist this idea. This takes place after 'The Perfect Dress' and goes pretty AU from there.
Chapter 1: I'm not pregnant!
"Please, Finn, let me in. I need to talk to him."
"I'd really love to, love…"
"Then just let me through, please!"
"Look. If… if he has… company… then… okay I can wait while you… Ugh! Please, Finn!"
There was a long moment of silence as Finn just stared at Rory. Finally, he sighed and shook his head. "My God, you two really don't know the tiniest thing about each other… No Rory, he doesn't have company. He's not very companionable since you've broken his heart and that's why I'm more than reluctant to let you in, 'cause his moping is already bad enough and if it gets any worse I'll be getting seriously depressed and believe me, this world can't take a depressed me."
She paled and took in a deep breath. "Well, then I'd say we're even. Believe me, my heart's not better and he broke it first. I'm as reluctant to see him as you are reluctant to let me see him but I have no choice. I need to talk to him."
Finn tilted his head and took a closer look at Rory, noticing the circles under her eyes, the bloodshot eyes, the loss of weight, the pale complexion of hers and the desperation in her dull eyes. God, what had those two idiots done to each other? Especially as it was very obvious that they were so much in love with each other – and so perfect for each other that it was nauseating. Yet here they were, both of them obviously miserable. And he didn't like the looks of Rory at all. "Everything all right, love?" he softly asked, worried.
Her eyes widened before she bowed her head and shook it. "No," she croaked. "And it won't get better if I don't talk to him. So please, Finn… don't make me fight my way through. And just a little warning: I've had no coffee yet."
No coffee? Okay, that was it. In the state his friend was in, Logan wouldn't be able to do much to him anyway. And it did look pretty important. Who knows, perhaps Rory was here to forgive Logan and take him back. Unlikely, but there were rumors of even bigger miracles. He stepped back to free the way for her. "Just… he's hurting too, love. Don't make it any worse."
Rory stepped in and stopped in front of him, looking up. "I'll try not to. I'm not here for that. But I need to protect myself as well. Is he in your room?"
Finn nodded and watched her walk over to his room. Ever since Rory had blown him off, Logan had been so much beside himself that Colin and Finn would rather have him stay with them so they would be able to keep an eye on him than have Logan be by himself. So they had convinced him to stay over at their dorm suite for a while. Worried, he watched as she knocked softly and then entered Finn's room, her head still hanging low.
"You think that was wise?"
With a sigh, Finn looked over to Colin, standing by his door, and shrugged. "Probably not. But those two need to talk it out anyway. Who I am to stay in the way of fate when she's showing up and wants to do just that? Besides, she wasn't in the best shape either and looked so desperate." Worried, he looked over to the now closed door again.
"What do you think is the matter?" Colin asked, not less worried.
"No idea, mate," Finn answered and frowned. "But whatever it is, I don't think it's good. Undoubtedly though, I think we'll find it out soon enough."
Inside Finn's room, Logan laid on his stomach, his head deeply buried in his arms. He had slept for a while, but it had been a miserable sleep – just like it had been ever since the day he had tried to amend things with Rory and she had sent him to hell. The sleep was filled with dreams of her, of him trying to convince her to take him back, to believe him when he says that he loves her, to trust him, to give him another chance and that this time, he wouldn't screw up. Wouldn't break her heart.
When there was a knock at the door, he squeezed his eyes even closer together. "Damn it, Finn, what's so fucking hard to understand when I said to leave me alone?! No, I don't want to go out, no, I don't want a drink and no, I sure as hell don't want some pity fuck that you brought me!"
Why couldn't Finn simply leave him alone? Why couldn't he understand that after Rory, he couldn't even imagine touching another woman again? It wouldn't be the same, it couldn't be, it would be so much less than what it was with his Ace and the shallowness would only make it more apparent what exactly he had lost.
Groaning, he shook his head. Great, now he was daydreaming about her again. It wasn't something new. Time and time again he dreamed of her coming to him to forgive him. To give them another chance. Only difference was that this time she sounded so real. He guessed that meant that he just got worse.
God, why did it only hurt so much?
"Logan, please, I need to talk to you."
Smiling bitterly, he shook his head. How many times had he dreamed about her saying these words to him? He was even so pitiful that sometimes he had wished for her to come to him and inform him that she was pregnant. Only, for him to have a reason to be close to her again, maybe even talk her into marrying him. Too bad they always had been so careful.
His imagination really had gotten better. This time it even had managed to copy that cute little way annoyance crept into her voice. God, how he missed her! And he needed to see her. So he finally turned around and opened his eyes, hoping against hope that his mind would at least let him also see her this time. Usually, every time he opened his eyes, hoping to see her as well and not just imagining her voice, he would be badly disappointed. But this time when he looked into the direction of her voice, she really was there.
Perhaps it was a sure sign that he finally not only lost his heart but his mind as well, but Logan was simply happy to see her – even if it was just an imagination. "Hey, Ace," he whispered, smiling.
Imagination Rory frowned, thrown off. "Hey," she muttered back.
Logan had to chuckle. If he had known that imaginations could be so funny and real, he would have gone mad a long time ago. He drank in her looks and slightly wondered why his mind would make her look so bad. She was way too thin and pale for his liking. And her eyes, that usually shone out of her delicate face like the sun shining brightly during a perfect day, were dull today, not shining at all. And all that pain… in her eyes, in her face, in the entire way she held herself up. Perhaps his mind wanted to remind him just what he had done to her, his brilliant Ace. Right.
His smile dropping away, he hurriedly sat up, longing to be able to take her into his arms. "God, Rory, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, never! I know that I told you too late that I loved you but I never thought it would hurt you this much!" He closed his eyes and had to fight back his emotions that tried to overwhelm him. "But you need to understand that I honestly had no idea what I was feeling… how should I? I never experienced love, not with any girl, not even from my own parents. Sure, I love Honor, but that's so very different to what I feel about you, I really had no idea. And I'm so sorry for my family; they did a real number on you. I should have protected you better, especially from my father, but I was too laid back. Too naive to think that perhaps they'd see that you're the best thing that ever happened to me, in my life. God, I'm sorry, Rory, so very sorry."
The Rory of his mind stared with wide eyes at him, her mouth slightly hanging open. Suddenly though, she shut her mouth and turned abruptly away from him, her arms slipping around herself to hug herself tightly. Slowly, Logan frowned. Something wasn't right here. Not that he knew much about imaginations but something told him that that wasn't normal behavior. Besides, he could feel the heat that emanated from her body, the same heat he had always been able to feel when she was close. He couldn't remember to ever having felt that in his dreams. But then that would mean Rory was really here and he knew her enough to know that that was highly unlikely. She had made herself clear enough that disastrous last time they had spoken with each other.
Still… "Rory? Are you really here?" he asked hesitantly, his voice probably as timid as it never had been in his life before.
Angrily, she threw him a glance over her shoulder. "Of course, I'm here. What do you think am I? Your imagination?" She shook her head. "Just how much did you drink last night?"
"Nothing, actually," he automatically answered, trying to grasp the truth here. Okay, no imagination would talk like that – at least that was what Logan thought. Or glare like that. God, how he had missed that glare! But if she was really here, then why? It had to be something big for her to come to him. Worried, he stood up and took a few hesitant steps towards her before he stopped again. He had wanted to take her into his arms and ask what was wrong. But they weren't together anymore. He didn't have that right anymore, did he? Fuck, he hated this! "Uh, Rory? Why are you here? Did something happen? Is everyone okay? Lorelai? Richard?" he asked, going over the possibilities in his mind. Of course, it still wouldn't make sense for her to come to him to find some consolation. She didn't want anything to do with him anymore. Those had been her terrible words.
"Like I already told you, we need to talk!" Rory exasperated, exclaimed, rounding to face him with her deadly glare.
So very much like in his pathetic dreams, but… "You're not pregnant," he stated, shaking his head. It couldn't be. Not with the way they had been careful.
Her eyes narrowed and for the first time came alive again, with fire. "Of course I'm not pregnant!" she hissed. "It's way worse than that! And just so you know, Huntzberger, it wouldn't change a bit even if I were!"
Logan doubted very much that such a thing wouldn't change anything. From the little experience he had through acquaintances, it changed everything. But that wasn't the point. What could have happened that was worse than being pregnant and that would make her come here, to him? He couldn't get it. "Okay, Ace. I obviously have no idea what you're talking about. So why don't you just spell it out for idiots like me?" he asked her, unable to stop the bitterness that seeped into his voice.
She rolled her eyes, her eyes still fiery. "Remember Finn's 'And a half' birthday party?" she sarcastically asked.
Logan frowned. "The trip to Vegas?" he clarified after a moment. Yeah, he remembered that party. It had been their last party where his world had still been in order, as he and Rory were still together, hadn't broken up then, not yet.
"Exactly," she nodded. "And remember how Finn thought that no trip to Vegas was complete without at least one wedding? Remember the fake wedding he had organized for the crowning of his party?"
Logan sighed and nodded, still not getting what Rory was after. Yeah, he remembered. First of all, it hadn't been his first trip to Vegas with Finn, so he was already familiar with this quirk of Finn's. And Vegas wouldn't be Vegas if it didn't offer its guests a fake wedding service. Actually, there were several. Second, of course he couldn't forget it, after all, even if it had only been a fake wedding, he still had felt strangely nervous and exhilarated when he had stood in front of the priest actor with Rory and they had exchanged their vows. It had felt so real. Because Finn, of course, had insisted that they be the couple to be married, not too surprisingly as he and Rory had been the only steady couple among the guests. Sweet old perfect time, he thought bitterly.
"This guy here familiar to you?" Rory asked and Logan found a newspaper being pushed under his nose.
Raising his eyebrow, he took it from her and looked at the picture she pointed at. Hmm, yeah, he had seen that guy somewhere… but where? Hold on a minute! Wasn't that the actor that had performed the ceremony back then? Yeah, that was him! While Rory impatiently tapped her foot, Logan started to cross-read over the article. Frowning, he did a double take and started to read through the article again, word for word this time. When he was finished he read it through another time, simply unable to believe it.
"Well?" Rory finally wanted to impatiently know.
Slowly, Logan let his hands sink down and he stared at Rory with wide eyes. Surely that had to be a joke? This couldn't be actually happening? No way was this true. This was stuff out of a bad comedy show, not real life.
"We're married?" Logan sputtered, unbelieving.