Disclaimer: I own nothing
Darkscream walks into an empty cell. "Whores, it's time for you to be moved," he announced. "Whores?"
"We ran out of cast members so that scene was cut" Scourge told him striding in.
"A little notice would be nice" Darkscream grumbled.
"You were given notice" T-Ai said haughtily.
"When and where?" Darkscream asked. T-Ai pointed at his forehead. Reaching up he pulled off the post-it stuck there. " 'Dropping whore scene, Love Pita'… Did she just break the fourth wall" Darkscream asked. Suddenly he was hit with a bokken.
"Well, now she did" Scourge said looking up to see if the author was going to hit someone else with a bokken.
"Anyway I'm here to tell you… I've been robbed" T-Ai said dramatically.
"Really? By who?" Scourge asked conversationally.
"Abbey and one of her other friends. They've run off together! They must know that Salem intends to rise up and overthrow us!" T-Ai exclaimed.
"Or she realized that with Proctor dead her sole reason for starting the witch-hunt was dead too" Koji said dully as he was carried in with his arms and legs shackled.
"What's with all the chains?" Scourge asked.
"Let's just say Optimus probably won't be making the curtain call" Darkscream said putting Koji down.
"I knew I liked that kid" Scourge said.
"Don't get to happy, he's still alive, just a little loopy"
Ye Olde Hospice----Uhh, Hospital!
Optimus in full body cast watching a re-run of Charmed.
"No Phoebe! The Source is going to kill your sisters after he turns back time! Leave demon boy and go home to save them!" Optimus yells at the screen.
His roommate glares at him "Dude, Prue died in the season three finale"
"This is the season six finale. Chris is the one that dies, sending his father on a murderous rampage that kills two elders, leads him to the Avatars, and nearly gets him recycled in season seven"
"Oh…" Optimus looks back at the screen and sees Gideon stabbing Chris who's trying to save his brother from the insane elder. "WATCH OUT PRUE! SHAX IS GOING TO KILL YOU!"Back at the Salem Jail…
Scourge's optic is twitching. "Alrighty then… What---"
Sky-byte storms in. "I come to do the devil's work!"
"Does this mean we can hang you too?" Koji asks hopefully.
"No, I am a instrument of God. I can not be swayed by Lucifer" Sky-byte proclaimed.
"But you said-" T-Ai started.
"I meant I came to consul Christians to lie to save their lives. I tell them to confess imaginary guilt!" Sky-byte cried out burying his face in his hands. He peeks through his claws at Koji. "Have you confessed your guilt yet? You're soon to be a widow and still very young. You need not die when you could still find an honorable husband" Sky-byte said raising an eyebrow suggestively.
"That better have been part of the script" Dr. Onishi growled.
"Of course it was" Sky-byte said with a nervous cough. "What do you take me for?"
Dr. Onishi glared before walking off.
"Goody Proctor need not confess just yet" T-Ai said self-righteously. "It would not be prudent to hang a woman in her heavily pregnant condition."
Sky-byte looked at Koji's flat stomach. "Huh?"
"Though Goody Proctor has yet to show signs of pregnancy we are confident that they should appear any day now" Scourge proclaimed.
"But it's been six months. Shouldn't the signs have manifested by now?" Sky-byte asked.
"Well, the baby could be very small" Scourge allowed.
Sky-byte stared. "Uh-huh" he nodded.
"WE CAN NOT HANG THIS SORT!" T-Ai cried out.
"Why the bloody hell not?" Scourge asked.
"Salem shall rise up in rebellion! We will all be killed!" She cried.
"Why in God's name would they be discontent? They've always cheered at the hangings before." Scourge said.
"Those hung before were sluts and dissidents! These are respectable citizens!" T-Ai claimed.
"Then why are they being hung?" Scourge asked.
"Because they were accused by vengeful sluts?" Koji suggested.
"NO! They are secretly serving the devil! The towns people will be grateful for our wisdom!" Scourge declared.
Koji looked out the window at the towns people who were holding pitchforks and torches screaming 'Down with the judges'. "Sure. You're right" he said sarcastically.
"But just to be sure. Goody Proctor, maybe the sight of his forth child growing in your womb"—Koji gags at this point—"will dissuade your husband from this course of foolishness and allow him to confess. That way one good man may live" Scourge declared.
Koji's still gagging. "What was that? You lost me at womb" he gasped between breaths.
"Bailiff! Bring in Proctor" Scourge ordered. Darkscream is already leading in Ultra Magnus.
"Proctor behold you wife!" Scourge ordered.
Magnus looks at Koji. "Ok… Anything else you want me to do?"
"Does not the sight of her so heavily with child move you to confess you're wrong doing so that you may one day teach your son to walk tall in the light of the Lord our God?" Scourge asked.
Koji rubs his still flat stomach and shrugs.
"Not really" Magnus admitted.
"Are you blind man! Would you leave this woman alone to fend for herself and your four children? Are you that cruel?" Scourge asked.
"No. She'll manage fine without me" Magnus said.
"I pray you man. Find your honesty and confess your sins before it's to late!" Scourge pleaded.
"I've found my honesty" Magnus assured them, backing up.
"Well?" T-Ai asked.
"Well what?" Magnus asked.
"Isn't this where John Proctor kisses his wife with a passion that he hasn't felt since their wedding night?" Scourge asks.
"Umm…do I have to?" Magnus asked.
"YES!" Everyone, sans Koji, yells at him.
"Uhh—I think I hear the drums beating, time for my execution!" Magnus yells running off to be hung.
"Proctor! If you don't kiss her—"
"Him! I am a guy goddamnit!" Koji yelled. He thinks for a moment "And I don't want to be kissed!"
"If you don't kiss your wife I'll hang her too!" Scourge yelled. A dull rumble started in the distance.
"What's that?" Magnus stopped to ask.
"It sounds like a stampede" T-Ai said.
Koji looked terrified "Not again" He cried.
"What's going on boy?" Scourge hissed.
"EEEEKKKK!" a mass of girls swarmed into view.
"Who are they?" T-Ai asked.
"Remember when I mentioned fan clubs" Magnus asked.
"Well that's Koji's fan club" Magnus said.
"ATTACK!" the girls yelled. They then proceeded to tackle Scourge, tie him up and began to use him as a piñata.
"That was the most tame thing they've done so far" Koji commented.
"What do they usually do? Rip off your clothes for souvenirs?" Darkscream asked.
Koji glared at Darkscream as the girls stopped hitting Scourge. "You just had to remind them, didn't you?"
"Get him!" the girls cried as the group swarmed at Koji.
"BACK OFF!" the girls suddenly ran in terror from a pissed off T-Ai.
Everybody else stared at T-Ai shocked by her outburst. "People have been picking on me for four acts and you say nothing. Now some girls try to rip off my clothes and you freak?" Koji asked.
"I think it has something to do with the fact everyone ragging on you until now has been male. T-Ai doesn't want any females messing with you" Magnus explained.
"SHUT UP!" T-Ai yelled.
"Awwwww" the audience cooed at the slight romance shown.
"This scene would be so much more romantic if he wasn't portraying a pregnant woman and she wasn't wearing a fake moustache" a random audience member commented.
"Shut up" the rest of the audience yelled.
"Well screw you, you ungrateful boogers" She said before vanishing into thin air.
"Did the author just break the fourth wall again?" Darkscream asked.
"Do we honestly care?" Magnus asked
"How are we suppose to end this thing then? The fan club ruined the ending" T-Ai asked.
"Do you really have to ask?" Koji asked with a smirk.Ten Minutes Later…
"Governor Danforth is hereby sentenced to hang for the murder of good Christian men and women. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Sky-byte asked.
"You can all burn in h---" Scourge was cut off by the trapdoor under his feet opening up and allowing him to fall into the darkness of 'Hell'.
"I some how don't think this is how it really went in Salem" Magnus commented.
"It's close enough. The church admitted that they were wrong and there were no witches in Salem. They even issued a formal apology" Koji explained.
"Cool… Should we do curtain call now?" Magnus asked.
"How many of the original cast would be willing to actually comeback for it? How many can?" Koji asked.
"Well Prowl refuses to talk to me since I spilled the beans about our relationship in front of his brothers and I'm a little afraid of his brothers right now" Magnus admitted.
"Megatron came off his high from the drugs we slipped him to make him nice. We probably don't want to be anywhere near him until the Viagra is completely out of his system" Darkscream put in.
"Carl and Jenny won't return my phone calls since they were cast as vengeful sluts" Koji sighed.
"Team Bullet Train didn't like being cast as the bad guys either" T-Ai announced.
"And Koji made it so Optimus can't even think straight much less walk across a stage" Sky-byte said. "How did you do that anyway?"
Koji shrugged with unfocused eyes. "Tricks of the trade" he said non-committedly.
"Well who else can't make it?" Magnus asked.
"Scourge obviously" T-Ai said.
"And Wedge is hiding somewhere away from HeavyLoad. HeavyLoad is still treating him like he's a henpecked husband" Koji yawned.
"So it's just us?" Magnus said.
"Why don't we just call it a night?" Magnus recommended.
"Probably for the best. Koji's already asleep" Darkscream said holding up the boy.
"Probably should take him home" Magnus said. "His parents can be really scary at times"
"Ok!" Darkscream said dumping Koji into Magnus' arms before running off. "See ya!" Sky-byte said taking off.
"Don't look at me, I'm not even corporeal" T-Ai said.
"Fine. When the Onishis give you back by dismembered pieces send them to Prowl. I'd rather he had them than Optimus" Magnus grumbled as he walked off stage.Ye Olde Hospital…
"Serves him right for hitting me so many times" Optimus grumbles watching TV.
"How does Leo deserve to be frozen in a block of ice for hitting you so many times?" His roommate asked watching yet another episode of Charmed.
"I'm talking about my stupid brother. He has to take our friend home to his psychotic parents who are probably going to kill him for half the stuff that happened to their son during the play we were performing" Optimus explained staring at the TV with the utmost interest. "HA!" He laughed pointing at the screen, which was currently showing Piper and Leo sharing a heart felt goodbye complete with tears and a promise to see each other again after the final confrontation. "Dr. Onishi just decked him!"
AN: The last part was written while I was being bugged by my little cousin so it isn't my best work.