Warning: The End of The End which makes it The End.

DAK: Ok, I'll shut up…for now. –Lee Pose-

Behold, the last chapter of this guide!!

Beware: Boring stuff ahead.

Warning: Language (Little Sasuke-kun is having a potty mouth lately)

DAK: So, I guess this is the grand finale huh? How do you feel about this Naruto?

Naruto: Shit

DAK: Oh, I do quite agree…it is sad that it's ending isn't it?

Sasuke: Hehe, what he means is, he's feelings like shitting. You know, aka, "number 2"

Naruto: You piece of shit! Like you don't shit yourself!

Sasuke: Of course I shit, who doesn't? At least I'm not afraid to admit I shit!

Naruto: I never said I was afraid to say I shit! Wanna compare who can shit better?! You, Me, Right now! TO THE TOILET! It's shitting time!



DAK: Cough…So how do you feel about this Itachi?

Itachi: -No Comment-

Sasuke: Psh, he's too busy attempting to be a fucking emo to care.

Itachi: I'm the emo? Last time I checked, you were the one blinded by revenge.

Sasuke: Last time I checked, you were the one that fucking paints his fucking nails!

Orochimaru: My, my Sasuke hiss kun hiss….. you sure cuss a lot hiss…

Sasuke: Nobody asked you Oreo! And who said you could appear in this story?!

Naruto: HAHA, I bet Sasuke couldn't live a chapter without swearing!!

Sasuke: Oh yeah?

Naruto: Oh yeah!

Sakura: Sighh…I guess I'll say it for both of them…let the war begin.

Ping Pong Pang

And now! Let the Acknowledgements Commence!

DAK: So I guess you guys have been wondering, WHO had won this story's contest? Well before I announce that, it is time to put the word 'acknowledgements' to its use.

Of course, DAK has a brilliant mind –cough- but not all the tips in guide are made up by that brilliant mind –cough- so!! Since because DAK believes in crediting so much, it is time to CREDIT! –rawr-

Side note: Authors out there better credit too! Don't give me that shit about oh, how everything is just a coincidence and you happen to get the same idea as others or how they look similar. Credit damnit! It won't hurt to do that! If you knew that they looked simlar then obviously, you were influenced by that. Yes, smite me oh mighty smiter! –Credit: Bruce Almight- There, I've even given you an example, now SHOO! And Credit! –Rawr-

Warning: You can just skip all of this if you want haha, and scroll done until you see the words FINALLY!

Let the crediting begin! Starting from….

Naruto's Guide

-Tip 2: Always have extra gas in your butt. It could be handy sometimes and could even help you win over your enemies! –Cough- Kiba –Cough-

Credit: A picture xD

DAK: If you want me to send you the picture, just ask. Chances are, I still have it. If not, too bad ha!

-Tip 7: Kawaii no Jutsu

Credit: A picture xD

Sasuke's Guide:

-Tip 2: Dealing with: People who trash talk about you and laugh at you

Credit: A picture xD

-Naruto's version of the Uchiha Showdown

Credit: A picture xD

Naruto: I can't believe you tainted Sakura-chan's mouth by French kissing her!!! YOU EVIL BUTT IN THE HEAD!

Sasuke: Jealous? You piece of shitake mushroom!

Lee: What? I thought I was supposed to be the youthful mushroom…

Gai: Don't worry my youthful student! You will always be the youthful mushroom in my eyes!

Lee: Gai-sensei!

Gai: Lee!

Lee: Gai-sensei!

Gai: Lee!

Lee: Gai-sen- -trips-

Sakura's Guide

-Tip 3,6,7: Ways a detestable monkey will ask you out.

Credit: Chain letter xD

Naruto: Finally! Something other than a damn picture!

Neji: She was destined to use pictures. Oh look...she does have a destiny after all...

Sakura: What the hell does that mean?

-Tip 4: When a hot monkey asks you out.

Credit: Martin Mystery….alright, alright…I used to watch that show alright?! Sheesh…

Lee's Guide

Lee: YOSH! My lovely guide with youthfulness on top! –eye's sparkle-

-Tip 5: Definitions of burping.

Credit: Shrek 1

DAK: Who would've guessed!! –le Gasp!!-

Lee: Oh, my youthful secret is not so youthful anymore. I apologize youthful readers. –youthful tears fall down-

Tenten: It's ok Lee

Neji: I guess you were destined to lose your youthfulness…not that you were any youthful before.

Lee: -le Gasp- The youthful truth REVEALS!! I-I'm….not youthful?!!

Gai: No Lee! No! You're youthful!! You're the most youthful person to me!

Lee: Gai-sensei!

Gai: Lee!

Lee: Gai-sensei!

-Tsunami crashes in the background-

Gai: HEY! I didn't order a tsunami! I ordered waves!

DAK: Oops, sorry…

-Waves crashes in the background-

Kakashi's Guide

Gai: Oh look, its Kakashi's guide, Lee's guide is better! Harumph!

- Act 2: Conflict: If you get caught in class sleeping.

Credit: Chain Letter xD

- Ad Alert: Cinnamon Toast Crunch! By you're very own destiny Neji freak.

Credit: A picture xD

- Act 5: Naruto think his butt is special and if he were to replace it, the readers would feel emotionally insulted.

Credit: Will Smith… you got that right!

- Act 6,9: Excuses for sleeping in class.

Credit: Chain Letter xD

- Act 7: Excuses for report cards

Credit: Youtube (go ask DAK for link)

Sasuke: Cheh, you sure stole a lot of tips from other people.

Kakashi: It's called using your resources Uchiha dear –Pulls out his beloved book-

Jaraiya's Guide

Jaraiya: -Ding- Oooh, talking about all this crediting is just too sexy! I have another idea for my next book!

Tsunade: Think again hermit brain –punch-

- Tip 3: How to become a girl.

Credit: This British novel

- Puppet Show

Credit: Lanie-chan!

Naruto: How can you get horny just by thinking about credits?!

Jaraiya: -le gasps- I am not horny! I am being inspired by a natural urge inside me! And it is NOT called horny! It's called wonders of inspiration!

Sasuke: Dobe, speak for yourself.

Naruto: I am not horny! At least I don't hang out with a perverted girl, a homosexual senin, a weird looking fish head, and a nature freak!

Oreo: Oh my hiss... a homosexual freak? I think I like that name...

Karin: HEY! Are you talking about us?!!

Suigetsu: I think he was, if you can't tell with that puny brain of yours.

Juugo: I don't mind being a nature freak.

Sasuke: You are such a f.u.c.k.

Naruto: Oh my god!! You broke the bet! You swore! Not so mighty now are you ha!

Sasuke: Psh, its not a swear word. People just makes it a swear word. To me, it stands for





Sasuke: Or…in your case: a Fricken Ugly Crap-filled Kyuubi.

Naruto: Whyy youuuuu-

Sakura: Sasuke-kun, who is this red haired bitch?

Tsunade's Guide

-Tip 1,2,5,6,10: Ways to Bash

Credit: Bash dot com… xD

-Tip 3: Indian guy

Credit: Russell Peters

Oreo: Wow, you stole more tips than Kakashi

Tsunade: Shut up cookie!! At least I'm not dead!...Technically dead...err...whatever...

Itachi's Guide

Harry Schneider: ACK who's that?!

Oreo: -Looks around-

Harry Schneider: IT'S LORD VOLDAMORT!!

Oreo: -Looks around-

Kabuto: -Cough- I think he means you sir.

Oreo: Me?! Hisss…..

Harry Schneider: Avada Kadavra!! Alakazam! Bam!

Readers: -Waits for credits-

DAK: Sorry, all of Itachi's tips are original. I guess he's just too good to be true xD

Itachi Fans: -Faints- He sure is a hunk!

Harry Potter/Schneider: A honk? Honky Tonks?

Itachi Fans: A HUNK! Dieee you foreign bastard!! –Fan Laser-

Harry Potter/Schneider: Noooo….father…Lily…Ron…Help me!! –Dies-


DAK: And that's all for credits folks! That wasn't too bad now was it? Hehe…the other tips that have not been credited either came from my life experiences or my mind hehe...and NOW! Drum roll please!

-Drum Rolls-

DAK: It is time to announce the winner of this collection of guide! Who was the most popular guide of all? Which one recieved the most reviews? Welllllllllll...the answer is...






Naruto: GASPS!!

Kakashi: GASPS!!

Lee: Sniff...Sasuke is a formidable rival...

Sakura: Yay you won!!

Sasuke: -Eyebrow twitches- I did?

DAK: Bet you can never guess who came in second.

Naruto: Who? Who? Who?

DAK: Guess.

Naruto: Me?

DAK: Nope, its Jaraiya!!

Jaraiya: Holy!! I guess it was inevitable that the awesome Jaraiya would win!

Tsunade: He's blinded you readers! Why?! Why?!

If you have any problems with the guide or any complaints or praise, please press the review button at the bottom left corner. Or you can dial 1-800-Narutard. If none of these options satisfy your need to express yourself, you can email the following creators of this guide. Some of the email addresses will not be shown for some characters requested for privacy.

Note: You can try these emails if you want, but I suggest you email DAK first before attempting to do anything. –Smiles-

Please email the following if you have any questions...

Naruto: pokeruto-ramen-master at hotmail dot com

Sasuke: hot-male at hotmail dot com (yeah you got that right!)

Sakura: forehead-power at hotmail dot com

Lee: sexy-green-beast at hotmail dot com

Kakashi: itcha-kaka-itcha-kaka at hotmail dot com

Jaraiya: hot-hermit-booty at hotmail dot com

Itachi: black-nails-ftw at hotmail dot com

Shikamaru: shika-bon-bon-shika-bon-bon at hotmail dot com

Ino: pig-of-the-hill at hotmail dot com

Kiba: who-let-the-dawg-out at hotmail dot com

Konohamaru: santa-rulz at hotmail dot com

DAK: Well that's it dear readers!! We're sad that it ended but we had fun!! I guess this is the end! Thanks for reading!! Ciao for now!

DAK signing out!


Naruto: Don't miss us too much!

Kiba: Yeah, because we're like in every story on this website.

Sakura: Sasuke-kun, who was that bitch?

Karin: You talking about me?!

Sakura: Yeah, I'm talking about you! –Glare-

Karin: Well Sasuke is MINE!

Sakura: No, he's MINE!

Karin: Mine!

Sakura: Mine!

Sasuke: Shut the hell up both of you!

Naruto: Why?! Why?!! What's so special about that bastard?!

Lee: Yosh! I youthfully understand how you feel youthful Naruto!! My youthful heart breaks whenever I hear youthful Sakura and her youthful cries for youthful Sasuke!

Kakashi: Really? I think it's quite refreshing. Reminds me of Itcha Itcha Paradise! -Jaraiya smiles proudly-

Karin: Psh what about my cries of love?!

Sasuke: Karin, just shut up.

Sakura: You heard that Karin? –smirks-

Karin: What did you say bitch?!

Sasuke: Ughh…just shut up slut, personally, I think it's disgusting how you stalk me.

Naruto: -Gasps- You just said slut!! That's a swear word.

Sasuke: Whatever... I can swear whenever I want!

Naruto: You losttt the bet!!!

Sasuke: I don't care about the bet. That fricking slut just dissed my future girlfriend.


Sakura: -Gushes-

Sasuke: I guess I don't have any secrets now huh Kakashi.

Kakashi: Damn...


DAK: Yeah sorry…I had an uncontrollable sasusaku fandom there haha. Anyway, I now pronounce this guide FINISHED!

Ever having problems in life? Well, this guide has your answer! Come and read this guide created by your favourite ninjas in Konoha again! Hehe, we know you want to!


The Guide to Everything Inc.., © Published by Dark Angelic Kitty co. 2006-200X ©