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Prologue: Radioactive Witches' Brew

The sky way a dark purple in Free Country USA, the moon being heavily clouded by mist and an unprecedented lightning strike. As the lightning crackled during this stereotypically cliché hour, one individual was staying up, mixing and fiddling with various chemicals he did not bother to fathom.

Down in his basement, Homestar Runner was busy with his new Chem-Stree Set that he bought from Bubs. It was a very old one, probably collecting germs and dust in the liquids inside. Homestar didn't mind however, and so he began to concoct various experiments with his new toy.

Many hours passed. The unlimited possibilities Homestar tinkered with made his eyelids heavy, and his arms (or lack thereof) were tired of hauling around beakers with thick liquid mass. His interest didn't seem to fade, however, and he got to the point where he brought out his second-favorite drink: Witches' Brew.

Homestar had no idea why he brought a jar of it out for experimenting. Perhaps he was starving after all these hours and wanted a snack. Such as Suudsu, but he despised Gummi Bears (or at least the green ones).

As soon as he poured the cup of blue liquid – Homestar called it "Running Fuel that is Spiencifitalcy Forculmazed" – into the jar, someone unexpectedly arrived in his basement.

"Homestar, just what do you think you are doing up late at night?" Marzipan half-yawned, in her pink night-gown and fuzzy white bunny slippers.

He thought for a moment, staring into space all the while pouring in random liquids from the table. "Uh…making fondue."

"That's not fondue," Homestar's girlfriend corrected. "That's you mixing with dangerous chemicals. I'm against pollution."

"Yeah yeah." Homestar didn't really pay attention to anything Marzipan was saying from this point. The lack of sleep was getting to him.

"Homestar, you need sleep."

"NO!" He jumped onto the table in surprise, knocking down most of his cherished Chem-Stree set. The now neon-green Witches Brew fell on the floor, surprisingly landing right-side up.

Marzipan noticed it fall on the ground. "And why is your…Witches Brew glowing? Perhaps you're going to dump it carelessly into the wharf and kill those poor fishes-"

"Marzipan, I don't need any carelessness." Homestar jumped from the table, and grabbed his drink, holding it to his mouth.

"Well then," she said, "you need to get some sleep or else you're going to wake up cranky, mister. Good night." With that, Marzipan went up the stairs and out of the basement.

And so Homestar took the first sip of his combined drink.

And spat it out of his mouth afterwards.

"Oh crap!" he exclaimed. "This stuff is bad for me. Maybe when I'm older."

And then he collapsed.


Just as Marzipan exited Homestar's house, she thought she heard her boyfriend collapsing.

Before she could think more of the situation, however, she heard an explosion from beneath.

And then a bright flash.