Disclaimer: We own the agents. Period. The End. And the Lamp of Doom, but no one would want that anyway.

Now that that's over with…

Chapter Five:

April 19, 1996

In a middle school History classroom, a teacher sat at a metal desk grading papers. She glanced up as a man stepped into the room.
"Principal Beck." The teacher laid her pen onto the pile of ungraded papers.
"Ms. Croft." Mr. Beck closed the door behind him.

"Well, I'm glad we know the date," Beth said dryly.

"You know, something just occurred to me," Sushi said, stroking her chin. "Veronica Croft, Lara Croft... perhaps our dear author idolizes the Tomb Raider?"
"She's probably seen the movie seventy times," added Twitchy. "Lord knows she probably doesn't play video games."

Myth shuffled her feet guiltily.
"No!" Twitchy said in mock horror, "Myth, not knowing practically everything there is to know about the original canonical thing?"
"Okay, first, that sounded stupid," Myth told him. "And second, I have the perfect comeback for that. I just don't want to waste it. But you wait. Oh, yes, it's time will come."

"That was quite possibly stupider -" Sushi paused. "More stupid? Whatever - Than what he said."

"We're not here to discuss my sentence structure," Myth snapped, "We're here to get rid of this Sue. Can we do our job, please?"

"You've made a vast improvement on the…"

"History classes but we are unable to renew your contract."

"You weren't the only one that we had to let go. I hope you understand."

"Oh, I understand and I have seen this same thing happen far too often. I've been teaching for fifteen years and every time the students begin to raise their grades I get kicked out the door. You see I've been through this a few times before. My contract is never renewed after the students start passing the BSAP exam. I decided to take matters into my own capable hands." Veronica climbed to her feet as her grey eyes flashed violet with anger. "At least this time, I anticipated the way I would be getting the boot."

"Flashing violet?" Beth muttered incredulously. "Why violet? Why not just go all the way and have them flash urple?"

"You want her eyes to flash urple?" Myth asked, equally incredulous.

"And what's with the conspiracy thing?" Beth continued, ignoring Myth.

"Oh, she's just paranoid." Twitchy flapped a hand to his forehead in a mimic of Veronica. "They call it Help-Help-The-World's-Out-To-Get-Me Syndrome, or Help-Help Syndrome for short. Classic 'Sue symptom."

Myth was scanning The Words during this little exchange, making notes in her notebook, and managed to nudge all three of them with her elbows at the same time.

"Check this out," she pointed.

Veronica opened the folder and pulled out two of the letters. "Both of these are from schools in England. One is Smeltings Academy and the other is Stonewall High. You see they have already heard of my reputation for getting the kids to learn. I am willing to share my knowledge with anyone who is willing to learn."

"I thought Smeltings only took men as teachers."

"I am as good as any man. I will get the respect that I deserve." Veronica closed the file folder.

"Those who are inexperienced in the ways of 'Sue identification," Myth said, adopting a lecturing tone, "Observe the rabid feminism. It's not even really feminism, technically, because she's speaking only of herself, whereas true feminism-"
"We get it," Twitchy interrupted her.

"Careful, guys." Sushi was eyeing a fog coming in through the walls. It seemed to be... talking. In many tiny little voices. Very scratchy voices, like ones you'd find on an old record. "I think that's the 'fog of faded memories' rolling in."

"So... now she's the defender of the weak," Twitchy commented. "Hey, isn't that a series by Tamora Pierce?"
"That's 'Protector of the Small'," Myth told him, "And that, my comrades-at-arms, is a wonderful example of female empowerment and-"
"Myth, did she just shoot a beam of red light out of her hand?" Beth asked in the tone of someone wishing to be told otherwise.

There was a moment of disbelieving silence from the agents.
"I think she did," Sushi said calmly. "How interesting."

"Aww, look, she's having a memory attack," Twitchy cooed. "How endearing. Except for the part where it's not."

"Look, that boy just pulled out a wand!" Sushi was pointing to a boy who was now sticking said wand back into his bag. "...oh, don't tell me he's going to spill his guts about magic to her. I may be sick."

"I think it's fascinating that none of the students think this is odd at all," Beth told Myth, who was again scribbling away in the notebook.

"Yeah, go figure," Myth responded absent-mindedly. "That's definitely going on the list."

"And she's beloved of her students," Twitchy said, and went on in a squeaky falsetto, "Lookit me, I'm so beeeoootiful and smart and clever and nice, yet can discipline my class in seconds if needful, and I probably have Snape and Lupin and Sirius fall madly-"
"I like how you drew out beautiful," Sushi told him seriously, "It showed exactly how important that ideal is to society in general."
"...You sound like a weird hybrid of Myth and Luna, you know that, right?" Twitchy told her.

Sushi shrugged, supremely unconcerned. "I do what I can. Besides-" She waved in the general direction of Veronica, who was now watching her students snap their pencils in half because she was too expensive to keep around. "Look at her. She's the very model of what the author wishes she looked like."

"Heads up, you guys." Myth pointed at the words. "We're about to hit a chapter change. Only a minor time shift, so it shouldn't be too bad, but-"

The world shook before she could finish that sentence with "-hold on to something," and the four of them were sprawled on the hallway floor watching Veronica follow her students down the stairs.

Six minutes later, Myth solemnly handed Sushi an airsickness bag. "You were right. He's baring his inner soul."

Sushi eyed the bag. "When I said I would be sick, I was being facetious."
"Keep it," Beth advised, her eyes scanning The Words. "You may need it later."


Isabel's A/N (Because she continued writing and reading, even if she made no appearance. That, dear possible reviewers, is commitment): And so we continue on our killing journey. Laissez les bon temps roulez.

Myth's A/N: Oh. The. Horror. Yes, I know we've griped about this before, but there have been even more crossovers added to the later chapters. It has gone from being merely an X-men/Harry Potter/ Star Wars/ InuYasha crossover to an X-men/Harry Potter/ Star Wars/ InuYasha/ Power Rangers: Mystic Force/ Pirates of the Caribbean/ Charmed crossover. Oh, and another story on her profile puts in Lord of the Rings. Yes, I'm whining. You would be too, if you had to read this whole thing for research.