Title: Worth It
Pairing: Roy x Edward
Summary: Edward confesses, and Roy doesn't love him back.
Warnings: Shounen-ai/boy love.
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. Is it clear? Then let us proceed.
"I love you."
These three words were said in a barely audible whisper. Fearful golden eyes looked up at him with anticipation. There was a small light in them, a light of hope. Hoping that the other man would love him back. A weak smile was managed, a trembling smile under two spots of pink colouring from embarrassment.
"Is this a joke, Fullmetal?" Anger and confusion was apparent on the usually emotionless pale face of the older man.
The smile faltered. There was silence as the boy grasped for courage. "No." Head lowered again, almost shamefully. "Do you not like me?" I always thought you did. So I was wrong.
"Of course not. You're a thirteen-year-old boy who is my youngest and most troublesome subordinate. You're a male, and so am I, in case you never realized, Fullmetal. I'm your superior."
He had a strong urge to apologize. But I've done nothing wrong. Besides, he would think that I'm a pathetic little kid even more than ever. He turned away and walked out of the room. "Forget that I ever said anything, Colonel." The door slammed shut.
It was then when the boy finally muttered, "I'm sorry."
Their arms were linked as they walked slowly in the light, cooling rain. His head was resting comfortably on the older alchemist's arm, snuggling closer for warmth, breathing in the sweet scent of the man he loved. He smiled up at him.
"I still love you, you know. Even after what you'd said to me, that you don't love me. Even when you hate me so much. Even when you send me on all these horrible missions to torture me."
The dark-haired man smiled back, and opened his mouth to say something.
He blinked a few times. Light was seeping through the crack between the curtains. It was almost dawn.
And it had only been a dream. It felt so real. That happiness which had been flowing through his body slithered away, leaving him cold. It was not the first time this had happened. It had occurred countless times before. Waking up was a nightmare. It was so frustrating. Every dream filled his heart afresh with yearning for the other man in it. Every dream brought him closer, and then when he returned to reality, wrenched him away from what he thought he had got at last.
There were tears, but he did not allow them to fall.
"Congratulations, sir. I knew you would be able to achieve this," Colonel Riza Hawkeye said with a small smile. This was the man whom she had risked her life to protect and assist towards his goal of becoming the Fuhrer. She considered herself a very lucky woman to have survived to see the day when all her hard work was paid for. She was proud, of herself, and of her superior too.
"Thank you, Hawkeye," he said, and he meant it with his heart. "In fact, thank you to all of you guys too." He was refering to Havoc, Breda, Fuery and Falman. All of them had been promoted at least three ranks during these years for their own contribution to the military.
Just then, there was a knock on the door and a young man with long blond hair tied into a ponytail entered quietly. "Congrats, Fuhrer," he said. There was a bitterness in his tone, and he wore a sort of ironic smile. Anguish lurked in his golden pupils.
The new Fuhrer looked startled to see the newcomer. A slight frown formed on his face. "Fullmetal," he acknowledged softly. He paused, thoughtfully, before speaking again, "Thanks."
The blond raised an eyebrow. "There is no need to thank me."
"You helped. A lot." Is that a smile directed at me? From him? "Even I can't deny that."
Leaning in, closer, and whispering in his ear, "I love you too." An arm snaking round his waist.
Shock. Disbelief. Joy. "Get off me. Don't lie." Pushing him away.
"It's the truth."
Silence. It was this nothingness which seemed to speak the loudest, conveying everything.
"Then why...?" Hurt. Tears rushing back from memories forced to the back of his mind over these years. Swallowing them.
"I didn't want any distractions from my course to my current position."
"Yeah? So becoming president of the country is more important than me." More tears. Unable to fight them.
"Look, Edward," using his name for the first time, "I would have thrown away EVERYTHING for you. Just for you. But you see, this, all this," waving his arms around to indicate his brand new office, the badge on his shoulder showing his rank, the shiny medallions lined up on his uniform, "is not only for my sake, but for the good of all the people in this whole country of Amestris. If I gave up, they would still be suffering, with no one to hear their cry for help. If we started a relationship, we might have got caught, and then it would all be ruined and my plans would be spoilt. You do understand, right?"
Processing his words.
"Then I guess it's worth the wait." And the pain.
A/N: Liked it? I enjoyed writing this A LOT. Please read & review!