Hello everyone! I regret to inform you that this will be the last chapter of Phone Calls, Sharpie Highs, and Lack of Sleep. I know you're all very disappointed (and if your not, I'll hunt you down), but I can't really think of anything else to write, so sorry. This chapter is dedicated to Serindipity9!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Sharpie, or Alias, its sad isn't it?
"Hermione why are you crying?" Harry asked, getting worried instantly.
"Nadia died!" Hermione said, sobbing uncontrollably.
Harry thought back on everything he and Hermione had ever discussed about her family. Was it an aunt, a sister, a grandmother? "Who's Nadia?" He finally asked, feeling like a jerk for not knowing her family better.
"And Slone was such a jerk about it to!" Hermione continued as if she hadn't heard Harry's question. "It's his own daughter and he didn't even seem to care at all! Oh, and poor Sidney! She just had her baby and now her sister's dead!"
Harry became extremely worried about Hermione's mental health. She wasn't making any sense at all, she seemed to be upset about the death of someone who wasn't related to her, and was still very angry about some guy named Slone.
Comprehension hit Harry, and he suddenly knew exactly what her rant was about. "I thought you didn't watch Alias," he said, feeling stupid he didn't know what she was talking about sooner.
"It's your fault that I do!" Hermione said wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve. "You told me about Dudley watching it, and I was wondering how you knew the exact season and everything, so I thought I'd see if it was worth watching. Now I've seen all the episodes from all the seasons, and am completely obsessed."
Harry couldn't think of anything to say, so he settled on, "How many Sharpies did you sniff before I called you?"
"I am having an emotional break down and you think I'm high!" Hermione screamed into the mirror.
"Hermione," Harry said very calmly. "You are in hysterics because a fictional person died on a TV show. You're the smartest witch in our year, possibly in the whole school, and you're acting like Lavender and Parvati. There is no way that you are acting like this without some sort of outside help. Now, tell me, how many Sharpies did you inhale before I called you?"
"Harry," Hermione said mocking him with every word. "You are insulting the smartest witch in our year. I know every hex, jinx, spell, and curse that you could ever think of. Why, pray tell, would you want to do such a stupid thing, as insult me while I'm in the middle of a crisis?"
Harry laughed, "I'm going to go with you had the caps off of at least two Sharpies so long that they dried up. Either that your one of your huge ones."
"Harry, we're going back to Hogwarts in less than a week, do you enjoy watching the Sorting Ceremony?"
"Yes," Harry said slowly, not entirely sure what relevance that had to the current conversation.
"Well, it's such a shame you're going to miss it this year, because when I see you, I'm going to send you to the Hospital Wing!"
"You wouldn't do that."
"Yes I would."
"You won't because you're mad at me enough to hex me until I miss a week of school, which is probably what you're planning on doing." He took a break for Hermione to nod at him and smirk. "Well, this is our final year at Hogwarts, therefore it's out NEWT's year. You think way too highly about grades to let me miss a week of homework and let me fall behind."
Hermione was silent for a moment, "You're right Harry, I wouldn't want you to miss a week of classes, so instead I'll jinx you spend the first day back in the Hospital Wing, but you won't miss any classes. Then I won't help you with your homework, and you'll have to learn how to study properly without my help."
Harry stared at her in shock, "You wouldn't."
"You would really let me fail all of my classes just because I accused you of being a Sharpie-addict?"
"Harry, Harry, Harry," Hermione said sighing. "You have done nothing but pick on me since I sent you this mirror, I think a summer of teasing equals out a year of no homework help."
"That's not true," Harry said grinning. "We both were mean to Ron and you don't see him refusing to… to… Hermione, what does Ron help us with?"
"Harry, that's a horrible thing to say! Ron does a lot of things for us!"
"An example would be…"
"He… well, he does, no never mind… umm…. I don't know. He argues with us, plays Wizard's Chess, distracts you from your studies, is jealous as can be, and is a jerk to me…." Hermione trailed off, not sure where she was going with this stream of remarks.
"He is there to help us out when we're in trouble," Harry said, feeling bad that he was being mean to his best friend.
"When is suits him," Hermione mumbled.
"Hermione," Harry said sternly. "Stop making me question my friendship with Ron. He is a good friend, he just has trust issues."
"Trust issues? Explain your reasoning."
"Well, when he distracts me from studying it's normally because he can tell I want an excuse to be doing something else, he's jealous because he feels that he's living in his brother's shadows, and he's a jerk because he's afraid that we think that we're too good for him and are going to leave him in the dust."
"Harry, tell me something."
"What did Ron see when he was looking at Mirror of Erisid that you guys found?"
Harry frowned in concentration, trying to remember everything that Ron had told him. "He saw himself as Head Boy, Quidditch captain, and something else. I don't remember all of it."
"Right, now tell me, what did you see?"
"Ron was made Prefect, he won the Quidditch Cup last year, and knows his parents. Why would he be jealous of you, when he has what he wants, and what you want?" Harry was silent for a long time, and Hermione felt guilty once again. "I shouldn't have said that," she apologized. "I've just been wondering that since fourth year when Ron was mad because your name come out of the Goblet of Fire."
"I can't wait to go back to Hogwarts," Harry said, clearly trying to avoid asking a question that would make him angry with Ron.
"Yeah, is should be really fun!" Hermione said quickly, sensing Harry's mood. "I can't believe we're in our final year at Hogwarts. Honestly, I didn't think we'd survive this long!"
"I had my doubts too," Harry admitted, chuckling softly. "We must be really lucky or something, we seem to attract danger or something."
"Yeah… I still get nightmares about that troll in first year, just so you know, I'm very thankful that you barged into the girl's bathroom to save me."
Harry laughed, "You should feel lucky, I don't go barging into the girl's bathroom for just anyone." They both shared a laugh that ended in them yawning.
"Do you want to go to sleep?" Harry asked.
"No, I like talking you. It's nice, it's a small break from being in a fight with Ron and not being able to talk to anyone because I feel like if I do I'll get my head bit off."
"Yeah," Harry agreed. "It's nice just hanging out. I almost feel like a regular teenager." Tears swelled up in Hermione's eyes, whether it was because of all the yawning or because she was truly sad about what he said, Harry wasn't in a hurry to find out.
Hermione yawned again, causing Harry to do the same. "Why'd you make me do that Hermione?"
"You made me yawn."
"I did no such-" she was cut off by yet another yawn. "Maybe we should go to bed."
"Yeah, we'll see each other in a couple of days any way."
"Good night Harry."
"Good night Hermione, and thanks."
"Being the best friend a guy could ever ask for."