A/N: I know you've all been waiting forever for this and I am so sorry! I've been so busy, but here it is and you don't have to wait any longer after this because this is the last chapter!
For sticking with me all this time and through all the sporadic updates, here's a music video I made just for this fanfiction and for all of you: http:// www . youtube . com/watch?vufRhFHA2LQc ( you have to remove the spaces, ffnet does not like urls) For those who have been reviewing I'll be messaging you with a link of something special to say an extra big thank you for all your reviews.
Thank you everyone! Happy Holidays!
Whispering secrets in vain
Listen to the Rain
"I love you."
Mark turned from the window at the sound of the tired voice and saw Roger standing in the hallway dripping. Rain rolled down his body to collect in puddles underneath his feet.
The relief that flowed through him must be easy to see. Roger's expression was unreadable under all that rained. He waited for Roger to move, but he didn't so mark walked to him instead.
"I love you too."
Mark's pale hand took hold of Roger's dripping one.
"Come on… we need to get you into something dry…"
He led him into their room, led Roger to sit on the edge of the bed. Mark started to walk away, to find clothes, but Roger gripped harder to his hand and pulled him back.
Please don't let go…
"I'm just… getting you some clothes… I'll be back…"
Roger wrapped his other arm around Marks waist bringing him close and pressing his head against Mark's abdomen. Mark's pale hands went to Roger's long dripping hair, running through it gently.
Can't we stay for awhile?
He knew better than to speak right now.
Roger was shaking from more than the cold.
"She's… she's… really gone… Isn't… she? She…"
Mark nodded, emotion slipping from his own voice… just a little, "Yeah… she's… gone."
Roger held tighter to Mark's waist.
"And.. I let her.. I let her… It's my fault… shes not dancing anymore. It's my… fault…"
Too much emotion.
"No… no… Roger… it's not your fault, okay? It's not." He leaned down, hands moving up and down Roger's back as he pressed his face into that wet, wet hair, "It's no ones' fault… it's just life. It's just… it's just stupid fucking life. And we just have to get through it right? Together. You and I."
Mark could feel Roger nod underneath him.
Could hear him choke on tears.
Mark nodded too.
He had Roger back.
He didn't even notice the tears pricking at the edges of his own eyes.
The tears that wouldn't fall... but God… he had Roger back.
Roger shook harder. Mark held tighter.
"I lo- loved… her.. I.. I rea- really… I did… I- I loved.. her… I lo.. loved her so… so fuckin much… so much.."
"I know." Mark said, "I know you did."
Roger wasn't holding back anymore. Mark's shirt was getting wet from the rain still clinging to Roger and from his tears. The sobs were muffled but they were there, finally there.
"Will… will it… ever… get bet-… better for.. us?"
Mark could just barely understand the words beyond the muffled crying. He pulled away from Roger, kneeled down further so they could be eye level and lifted Roger's chin up with his index finger. He smiled gently and raised his thumb to wipe the tears from Roger's cheeks.
"Of course it will. Not perfect. But… I think it's getting better already." Mark kissed Roger, lingering on his lips for a moment, "We just… have to be open to it I guess."
Roger nodded, visibly took in a deep breath, rubbing at his red eyes.
Mark shook his head, looked down, "Hey… its okay. Just don't… ever do that again…okay? We don't… we… we don't get enough… time together as it is… and I… I don't… know what I'd do without… you…"
"I won't. I won't…do it… not ever again." He leaned his forehead against Mark's. "I don't... think I could leave you… not anymore…"
Mark took in the moment, clung to it desperately, and tried to engrave it in his memory. Almost wishing the camera was around, but there are some memories that can't be captured.
They were going to be okay. Roger was back, Roger was feeling again, Roger had let himself grieve, and Roger wasn't leaving. They would be just fine together. For now they would be just fine… and for now that was all that mattered.
He ran his hands up Roger's wet arms.
"Jesus… Roger, you're freezing… Lemme get you some dry clothes, okay? Just… just stay right here."
Mark returned with clothes from Roger's still packed suitcase and a towel. Roger had remained on the edge of the bed, but he was crying again. Silently. The tear drops matched the look of the rain dripping on to Roger's face from his hair. Mark set the towel and clothes down on the bed.
He took hold of the bottom of Roger's shirt and slowly pulled it up, worked it off of him and to the ground. Mark kissed Roger's neck and chest, took hold of the towel and wiped the water away from his abdomen and shoulders and arms. He kissed Roger's neck again for a little longer.
Mark pulled the dry, warm, dark green hoody over Roger's head and then pale hands moved to the button at Roger's soaked jeans.
"I can… dress myself y'know…"
"Yeah, I know." He unbuttoned the pants, "But I want to do this."
Mark pulled Roger's pants off carefully, took the towel in hand.
"Woah… no towel… not here…."
Not now maybe.
Mark smiled, nodded, and threw the red plaid pants at Roger to put on himself.
He sat behind Roger on the bed and brought the towel to Roger's dripping hair, massaging the towel into Roger's hair and head, pulling the water away. Roger leaned his head back in appreciation, breathing soft and calm as the tears stopped. The hair was still damp, but not dripping. Mark threw the towel to the ground and pulled Roger on to the bed next to him, wrapping an arm around his waist.
Roger leaned forward, pressing their lips together. His hand went back to cradle Mark's head.
And there it was… the same electricity, the same fire he'd felt the very first time their lips had met… and every time after.
"No more cold?"
And Roger smiled.
And it was perfect.