Ficlet: The Answer to the Primordial Question: What Would Happen if You Put Batman and Wolverine in a Room Together?

As always, standard disclaimers apply. I do not own Wolvie, Bats, Hulk, General O'niel, CloNeil ®, Bugs Bunny, Malcom Renolds, He-man, Optimus Prime, The Shaft, Brisco County Jr., Black Debbie, White Debbie, Captain Kirk, Mumm-Ra, The Mummy, MANTIS, Ron Weasley OR The Power Rangers.

I DO own: two pairs of pink pajamas, a red tablecloth, a set of those big pizza hut cups, a copy of Serenity on DVD, 137 pens, glow-in-the-dark face paint, a cement squirrel and Hamster Boy.

What do YOU own?

Oh wait. I was writing fic. Look. A chicken...

Ficlet: The Answer to the Primordial Question: What Would Happen if You Put Batman and Wolverine in a Room Together?

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Concept Design: Brendan Storm

Story: Brendan Storm

Editing: Battybeyond

Direction: Adderal XR

Produced by: Effexor XR

Exective Producer: Nos Energy Drink

Script Supervision: Killer Mutant Poodles from Outer Space (I told you.)

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Test case 102:

Subject Tne: Logan. Alias? Sits in the corner, smells a bit like a wet dog. Upon entering the room, the subject lights a cigar.

Subject Two: Batman. Alias? Dark, angry looking. Upon entering the room, the subject immediately began looking for escape routs. Finding none, he settled in the corner nearest the only door. On his way to said corner, he tears the cigar out of the mouth of subject one and grinds it into the linoleum.

4:49:05 After five hours the only interaction is the grabbing of chairs.

Pizza sent in at 5:12:22

6:01:23: Breakthrough.

Subject One is the first to react. "You gunna eat that Bub?"

Subject Two glares.

Subject One shrugs and eats Subject Two's crusts.

9:34:56 Final observation: Subject One is very good at Solitaire. Subject Two is very good at glaring at subject one.

Test case 103:

Control subjects: Bruce Banner and Jack O'niel…

THE END

Special Thanks To: Stan Lee for giving us great characters, DC for screwing up great characters, Joss Whedon who is my master now, Charlene Edwards for teaching me how to spell, Mark Martin for running one more year in the Nextel series, my chiropractor for giving me that half inch back, Apple for allowing me to drown my sorrows, and $400 in an iPod Photo two weeks before they announced iPod Video, you fckers. To my mom for giving me the angst to write. And to you, Brad. You know why.

Unlike PETA, who has a kill shelter in Virginia, no animals, mutants, clones, robots who turn into other things or Wiccans were harmed in the making of this ficlet.

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidence and unintentional.

Soundtrack available on iTunes and from those Fckers at Sony Audio who crashed my World of Warcraft game.

OverlyMedicated Pictures, all rights reserved r 2006

Grr. Arg.