Title: Love Somebody, Lose Somebody

Author: Catalyst

Rating: Teen

Category: Well, that's a stupid question...

Summary: This is what happens when I listen to Chris Isaak.

Author's Note: This fic is inspired by Wicked Game by Chris Isaak. The title comes from that song, and if I do decide to include snippets, they will be from that song as well.

More often than not, she cries herself to sleep these days. Not the heart-wrenching, soul-searing sobs she's used to, but tired tears in mournful succession. She doesn't have the energy to sob anymore. She doesn't have the energy to do a whole lot of anything anymore.

The world was on fire

And no one could save me but you

A new job, a new house, a new room. A new life, if only it could wash away the past. She knows her father would give her anything to rinse away the shadows that lurk behind her closed door, behind her closed eyelids. He's changed his world to make hers something different. No memories beyond this screen. No ghosts in this closet.

No boys at this door, tortured, frail, broken.

I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you

I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

She thinks she sees him sometimes. Just down the street, she'll catch a glimmer of yellow, a flicker of a smile, a dash of hope. But it's always just another snazzy sports car, a twelve year old with a mean streak, a fraud. He's not waiting for her. Why should he? She didn't wait for him.

What a wicked thing to do

To make me dream of you

When she closes her eyes, she sees fire and plastic, ash and blonde hair and blood. She sees ashtrays and refrigerators and the red, red, black that so often fills her nights. She sees promise and failure, hope and mistrust. She sees lies and tension, and what-if, oh but only, what-if.

What a wicked thing to say

You never felt this way

She won't say that she loved him. She's not sure if it's true or not, but she won't say it because he's gone, so what does it matter. He's gone and she's not and all he cared about was her, but no. No. Because this isn't love. It was never love.

No, I...

Don't wanna fall in love

And she wonders just how many times she has to say it to make it true.

Nobody loves no one. . .