Author's Note: Like Jackson, I never forget an anniversary. ;) It's two months to the day of my last update, and I realise it's been much too long, and I realise I suck. But all I can say is that I truly hope you enjoy, and all I can ask is that it was worth the wait.
Warning: Fairly explicit sexual content in this chapter. If that offends you, you'll just have to be doubly patient until I can get Chapter 7 out. For those of you who won't be offended... well, you can just doubly enjoy. ;)
At first when he kissed her, she couldn't respond. She was frozen with the prospect of what lay ahead of her. She knew there was no future with this man and yet she was willingly giving herself to him, body and soul. Willingly giving herself to any man since her assault had seemed impossible. Why him? Why now?
"Jack," she whispered urgently. He paused his gentle assault for a moment, letting out a small, laboured sigh, and waited for her to speak.
A lump climbed into her throat and she couldn't speak, so she merely looked at him pleadingly, not knowing what she was asking for, but asking nonetheless.
He sighed again, heavier this time. "I can't say the things you want to hear. Don't you understand? I'm not…" He looked away, clenching and unclenching his jaw. "I'm not built that way."
She continued to not speak, continued to look at him, softly pushing his hair back from his face in rhythmic strokes. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch imperceptibly.
"Lisa," he murmured and his eyes met hers. For once, she didn't marvel at the colour they were, but at the emotions they held. And it was all the answers she needed. It was she that pulled her to him that second time, meeting his lips softly as though she were kissing him for the first time, kissing anyone for the first time. Her ardour grew as she could feel his do the same, and the kisses became more fervent, needier. Leading somewhere.
He wasn't kissing her with his tongue, just continuously pressing against her lips, hot and open-mouthed. She groaned low, a frustrated sound as she tried to deepen their kiss. He smiled on her mouth and reached up to tangle his fingers in her hair. He curled his finger slightly and pressed them together, giving her locks a small, teasing tug. Not enough to hurt her, just enough to make her take notice. She responded by twining her arms around his neck and pressing her hands into his back to pull him closer. He moved in, pushing her back against the headboard, pinning her body between his and the bed. He continued his slow, leisurely, wet assault of her mouth, finally slipping his tongue between her lips and taking little tastes of her. The kind of flavour that could only be Lisa. The kind that he would never forget.
Her legs dropped apart of their own volition and she hardly noticed until she felt an insistent hardness between them, creating friction, building fires. The silk pyjama bottoms she wore did nothing in the way of a barrier and she felt everything at her very core, liquid heat rushing to greet him. Her nipples were standing at attention underneath her camisole. The way he was positioned, his fully-clothed chest was just hovering above hers, not quite touching, and it was a sweet torture.
He moved away from her mouth, kissing along her jaw line and beneath her earlobe, before nipping at the appendage. She giggled and shied away.
"You're giggling?" he asked, incredulously, his voice nothing more than a raspy whisper. "I'm trying to seduce you and you're giggling?"
"That tickles," she responded innocently, her eyes wide, her cheeks flushed.
He shook his head and moved back to her neck. She moaned as he found a particularly sensitive area, right where her pulse beat a steady rhythm. He paid special attention to that spot, gently biting and kissing, running his teeth along the vulnerable line. She was at his mercy. She felt like he was a vampire, just trying to decide where the juiciest spot was to bite. And it thrilled her.
His hands had moved out of her hair and were running down her neck, past her collarbone. The one hand went all the way to her hip and then around to her bottom where his fingers dug in. He yanked her down further on the bed so that her head hit the pillow instead of the headboard and he was fully over her and she was fully under him and—
"Stop!" she gasped suddenly, all the passion fled from her eyes even as she squeezed them tightly shut. She squirmed underneath him, making an uncomfortable circumstance even more painful, literally. He shifted his body weight so that it was evenly distributed over hers and he was pinning her to the bed. Not unlike the first time he'd crawled in through her window, so many weeks ago.
"Lisa, relax." Jackson's no-nonsense voice was clear of all husky seduction. "Stop."
"You stop," she demanded, still keeping her eyes closed. She bucked her hips underneath him. "I changed my mind, I don't want this. I don't want you."
Jackson rolled his eyes heavenward. "Yes, you do."
She shook her head, tears rolling out from beneath her lids, past her temples into her hair line. "I don't, I don't."
"Lisa, look at me."
He growled and shifted so that he was grasped her face with his hand, squeezing her cheeks together. "Look at me."
Finally, she opened her eyes and glared at him mutinously. "I. Don't. Want. This."
He shifted again, stroking her centre with his hardness, slowly and deliberately. She shivered. "Yeah," he responded, more than a small trace of arrogance in his voice. "You do."
She just shook her head, looking away.
"No, Lisa." He forced her eyes back to his. "Look at me. Keep looking at me. Do not take your eyes off of me. Do I have your attention?"
She refused to answer, but also kept her eyes attached to his.
"Whoever you're envisioning right now, whatever circumstance you're regressing to, you need to stop. You need to get over it. It was years ago."
"But it still hurts," she whispered desperately.
"Lise." His voice had tendered when he spoke again. "Look at me. Who am I?"
She shook her head sadly. "I don't know."
"You do. You know me."
She scoffed and his expression grew stormy.
"You know me," he repeated, a bit angrier. "You know me. I'm Jack. And I'm yours."
"Just for tonight," she said, and neither knew if it was a question or a plea.
He leaned forward and kissed her softly on the mouth, keeping his lips there as he spoke, so softly she could barely hear. So softly it might have been the wind. "For always."
It was the closest to a vow that he would ever get, with her or with anyone, and she knew it, and she took it for what it was and what it meant to her.
"Okay, Jack." She gave him a tremulous smile and he gave her a rare, genuine one in return.
She nodded and her smile grew. "Okay."
He kissed her again, allowing their passion to grow leisurely once more. Soon, the fires had been re-stoked. He ground against her restlessly and she spread her legs wider, wanting it. Skimming his hands over her thin top, she moaned as she felt her nipples harden to uncomfortable proportions. He went down her body, placing soft, open-mouthed kisses over her collarbone and the delicate lace lining of her camisole. Moving over the fabric, he bit at her distended nipples through the diaphanous material, pulling them even further out.
"Jack," she half-gasped, half-moaned, entwining her fingers in his hair. She bucked lightly underneath him, intentionally rubbing against his hardness. She lifted her arms over her head and he took the invitation she offered, stripping off the top so that her upper body was exposed. He paused for a beat, just because he was too male to not stop and appreciate the view for a moment. Her gently rounded breasts were still pert, too small to spread and fall to the sides. The nipples stood out like stalks, all dark and goosebumpy in the pale moonlight and glow of the television set that was still on. A fine, blonde down was slightly visible in the same light, encircling her belly button and going down into her pyjama bottoms. He wanted to follow it, but knew he had all night.
If Lisa was uncomfortable under his scrutiny she didn't show it, merely regarded him with heavily-lidded eyes and swollen lips, her expression indiscernible. He sat up and quickly stripped off his own shirt and undershirt, so that he could feel his bare flesh against hers, before falling back down on her and kissing those lips that were just begging for it. She squirmed underneath him once more, this time to revel in the feeling of his bare chest against hers. He brought his hands up between them, cupping her breasts, feeling the nipple in his palm. Her chest rose to push her breasts further into his hands, and he kissed down her chin and down her neck and down her chest. He'd raised his palms up slightly so that the nipple barely touched and was circling his hand over her breast.
Lisa's breath came in soft pants and she continued to rub restlessly against him. He was rock hard, she could feel it, and it still frightened her a little. She chastised herself for acting like such a blushing virgin and made an effort to just stop thinking altogether. Jackson chose that moment to close his mouth over her nipple and aid in that effort. She gasped loudly as his tongue played over the sensitive end and his mouth nipped and sucked. She ran her fingers through his hair and wrapped her legs around his hips. His pelvis ground into hers and she felt like she was losing her mind.
"Jackson…Jack," she gasped, as he moved to the other breast and lavished his attentions on that one as well. "Oh, God, Jack!"
He stopped and looked up at her, flashing a devilish smirk. "Yeah?"
She responded by yanking her to him and kissing him, while simultaneously squirming under him in an attempt to get her pants off. He chuckled against her mouth reached down to help her. As he pulled her bottoms down, he went down with them until his forehead rested on her navel, his chin on the line of her panties. Pulling back, he looked down at where his chin had rested and couldn't help but chuckle again.
"Shut up," she warned, laughingly. She knew he was probably less than impressed with her serviceable, white cotton underwear.
"No, it's a turn-on," he promised, climbing up to kiss her again.
"Right," she mumbled against his mouth, still smiling.
"I'll show you how much of a turn-on," he whispered back against hers, letting his hand trail down her body until it slipped beneath the cotton band. She wasn't entirely bare down there, a quality he liked in a woman as it made him feel as though he were actually sleeping with a woman and not an eight-year-old, and he slid his hand down further until all he could feel was liquid heat and teeming wetness.
"Ohh," he groaned. "You are so ready for me."
She moaned in a way that he could only deduce to be agreement.
Still, he stroked her, spreading the wetness up and down her slit, finding the centre of pleasure and rubbing it with his finger, creating a friction that had her quivering.
"Mmm," she murmured, tossing her head from side to side.
He slid his finger down further and inserted it into her, stroking her inner walls, while his thumb went back to the nerve bundle, seeking it out and chafing it.
"Jack!" She couldn't stop her cry as she gripped the sheets so hard her knuckles were white.
"Yes, baby, yes." He kissed her hotly on the mouth, his tongue stroking hers, heavily and leisurely. He slowly inserted another finger in her and her gasp turned into a loud moan that hung in the air. "Does that hurt?"
She just shook her head, whimpering. He let his fingers fill her and applied more pressure to her clitoris, flicking it with the nail of his thumb.
She panted his name in rapid succession as he murmured against her mouth, "Yes, Lise. Come for me. Come on, baby."
Her orgasm built in slow waves. She could fill it in the quivering of her inner thighs, in her muscles clenching around his sopping fingers, in the tears that pricked beneath her eyelids. She let out a long, low moan as he removed his hand from her still-throbbing centre.
"Oh, Jack," she breathed. "Oh, Jack."
He kissed her damp forehead softly. She could feel him trembling with his own unfulfilled desire and the need to be gentle with her, and she marvelled at how much he seemed to care; to protect her, in a sense. The feeling overwhelmed her, and she almost laughed out loud at how much she made out of how little he gave. She would expect nothing less from any other man, and yet for Jack to exhibit such feelings it was simply a bonus.
"Lisa," he whispered, breaking her out of her reverie.
She looked at him questioningly.
"Stop thinking so much." He kissed her fleetingly on the mouth and positioned himself above her.
She could feel the tip of his hard shaft nudging her wet, swollen flesh. A wave of unwanted memories brought bile to her throat and she tried to hold back her apprehension, but couldn't seem to help the small whimper that escaped.
Jackson said nothing, but repositioned so that he was holding himself up higher off of her, trying not to make her feel smothered. He noticed her scar then, an angry slash over her breastbone. Leaning down, he kissed along it reverently, trying to erase it with his lips and tongue. She let her head fall back and allowed herself to just feel him, feel his body over hers and his mouth on her skin. She opened her legs wider in an unspoken invitation and he looked at her and gave a soft, un-Jackson smile. Returning his gentle smile with one of her one, she reached up and kissed one of his scars—the jagged, star-shaped one at the base of his throat. He chuckled softly as she kissed him there, and she could feel the vibrations in his throat.
"Jackson." She wrapped her arms around his body and pulled him down to her, thwarting his attempts to give her some space. "I need you, I need to feel you. Please, just… stay here. Keep your body here. You feel different, and I need to know that. I need to feel that." She held his body flush against hers and they trembled together, her from her overwhelming emotions, him from his all-encompassing lust.
"Okay, Lise, okay," he murmured, kissing her face. He moved up only slightly this time, still keeping his body close to hers, and began to enter her slowly.
"Ahh," she groaned as he stretched and filled her.
"Are you okay? Does it hurt?"
She shook her head to the latter question, even as tears trickled from beneath her lids.
Jack clenched his jaw tightly, thinking unpleasant thoughts about the last time someone had been inside Lisa like this, and what he'd like to do to that person. He continued to push forward slowly as he kissed her tears away and then kissed her lips, transferring the salty wetness from his mouth to hers, sinking into her wetness below. He couldn't help the groan that escaped his lips as he filled her completely, his hard shaft sheathed within her.
They stayed like that, joined, for a moment. He wanted to give her time to adjust to him and she didn't move for fear this moment would end. It hurt, yes, a bit. But the feeling of total and unequivocal completion overrode any physical pain. It was insane, because part of her still hated him. She feared, however, that a bigger part actually loved him and that revelation snatched her breath away.
"Are you okay?" he asked again, hearing her gasp.
She turned tear-filled eyes on him and knew that her heart was doomed. She nodded jerkily and he kissed her forehead, shifting so that he slid out of her slightly, before thrusting back in.
Her intake of breath was unrelated to any inner turmoil this time, and instead was concentrated solely on the physical sensations she was feeling. He continued to slide in and out of her, the friction of the movement driving her to the brink.
She moaned loudly as he reached between their bodies and found her clit, rubbing it feverishly as he continued to thrust.
She moaned his name over and over, and he encouraged her with his own moans and panted, nonsensical words. She gripped his buttocks hard, digging her nails into the taut flesh, and brought her knees up to take him deeper in her.
Lisa felt Jack's entire body tense then, and knew that he'd reached climax. She could feel the hot spurt of his seed inside her body, could feel it approaching her womb, and for once it didn't frighten her. Of course she was protected, so there was hardly a risk of pregnancy, but even the idea of a baby didn't fill her with dread. She had no time to wonder at this, however, as Jack brought her to her own orgasm. She cried out at the force of it, throwing her head back as she let wave after wave of pleasure glide over her, course through her body.
He collapsed on top of her, burying his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply. She could feel his heart thundering in her chest and knew it matched her own rapid beat. She couldn't stop touching him, running her hands up and down his back. He was still inside her, limp now, but she was reluctant to let him go. And he seemed just as reluctant to leave her. Probably out of sheer exhaustion, she reasoned, but it was still nice to keep him close right then.
Long moments passed. Their skin cooled slightly, the television set glowed, the moon still shone. Finally, he summoned the energy to remove himself from her and off of her. Goosebumps rose on her flesh as it came in contact with the cool air of her room, and she shivered lightly. Jack lay on his back and stared at the ceiling, saying nothing. Lisa got up to use the bathroom. She winced when she saw some blood on the toilet paper and, standing up, she went to wet a washcloth to clean herself up a bit. As she ran cool water over the cloth, Jack came up behind her. They were both stark naked, illuminated by the night-light in the bathroom. She had dark circles under her eyes and evidence of a morning beard was growing on Jackson's face. Both had unbelievably tousled hair and reddened parts of their bodies. For all intents and purposes, they looked like a couple that had been thoroughly ravished by one another.
Without saying anything, Jackson wrapped his arms around Lisa from behind and pulled her against him. She let the washcloth fall back into the sink and just leaned into her embrace. It was sensual, but not lustful; he was merely holding her for the sake of holding her. He'd closed his eyes and was rocking her gently back and forth. She put her arms over his and let him. After a moment, she turned around and hugged him full, arms around his neck, her hands splayed across his back. He returned it, wrapping his strong arms around her and holding her tightly.
"Jack?" she whispered against his ear.
"I just wanted you to know that I love you." He stilled, the rocking coming to an abrupt halt. "You don't have to say it back, I just wanted you to know." And it was true. She didn't need to hear it in return. It would be nice, of course, but she hadn't said it for that reason. She'd said it to get it out. To express her feelings for once instead of always bottling it up, holding it inside. She told him that she loved him so that he would know it, that he would know that no matter where he was, what he did, or where he went, there would be someone who cared.
There was a long, heavy silence. Jackson released her slowly and held her arms, his eyes travelling all over her face and her body. Without a word, he reached behind her into the sink and took the wet cloth out. He gently brought it to her face, wiping away the tear stains and dried sweat. Bringing it down, he gently bathed her with it, worshipping her arms, her chest and her back. He re-wet it and applied it tenderly between her legs, cleaning away the dried blood and semen, soothing her sore flesh. The tenderness with which he did this brought tears to her eyes, and still he said not a word. When he finished, he placed the cloth back in the sink and kissed her lightly on the temple, before heading back towards the bed.
She followed him and just watched, waiting for him to start putting his clothes back on. Waiting for him to leave. Instead, he surprised her by getting back into the bed and pulling the covers over half of his body, leaving his chest still exposed. He spread his arm out across her side of the bed and merely looked at her, his eyes slightly beckoning. She didn't hesitate for a minute and went over, climbing in beside him. She put her head on his shoulder and he put his arm around her. Putting her hand over his chest, she felt his heart beating steadily beneath her palm, and they both eventually fell asleep to the beat.