Title: General's Pet
Spoilers: Some from the Season Four episode 'Upgrades' and a few allusions to Seasons One and Two but nothing major.
Summary: Who is General Hammond's favorite? Missing scene from 'Upgrades'. One Shot.
Disclaimer: 'Stargate SG1' and all the characters associated with the show belong to someone who isn't me. As I doubt that the owners would be willing to trade their rights for some magic beans that aren't in any way magical, this is not going to change at any point in the foreseeable future.
O'Malley's Bar and Grill
"So on a scale of one to ten, exactly how mad do you think General Hammond is going to be when he finds out about this?"
Jack swallowed a large mouthful of steak before answering Daniel's question. "Don't worry about it - we'll just blame Carter."
"He's not going to yell at her." Jack continued, ignoring Sam's indignant protest entirely. "She's his favorite."
"I am not… sir." She tacked on belatedly.
"Let's see, shall we?" Jack began with mock seriousness. "He's your Dad's old friend, he's only known you since you were born. General Hammond - or is it 'Uncle George' to you? - would let you get away with murder."
Sam blushed slightly at Daniel's amused query. "So I've known him for a long time. That doesn't mean I'm…"
"He hand picked you for the SGC, he trusts all your plans, you were the one he relied on when he needed a message carried to 1969 - didn't he trust us not to lose it en route?" He demanded of Daniel, aggrieved.
"Remember what happened when Hathor took over the base?" Daniel reminded them, wisely sidestepping Jack's query.
"Who could forget? She knocks out the CO of the SGC and not only does he not haul her ass up on charges, he gives her a freakin' medal! Sure, Carter, there's no way that the good general favors you." He finished sarcastically.
"There were extenuating circumstances. Besides, if you ask me, Daniel's his favorite." Sam said, neatly deflecting the attention from her own head to that of the unfortunate archaeologist. "The general had to pull more than a few strings and bend a couple of regulations to put a civilian on a front line unit - almost as many as for Teal'c."
"She's got a point." Jack conceded. "And let's not forget that wonderful rule about us having to write reports on the cultural and scientific merits, yadda, yadda, yadda of every single planet we travel to. Although," He said fairly. "That's as much Carter's fault as yours."
"And do you remember his reaction when Machello suggested that we let him leave with Daniel's body and leave him to die?"
"He was not a happy camper." Jack agreed.
"What about you?" Daniel asked the older man.
"Me!" Jack was incredulous. "Are you insane? I'm… I'm…well, let's face it, I'm a pain in the ass - no giggling, Carter, that's an order." He glared at his amused 2IC. "I must have given him enough material for a couple of dozen insubordination charges and at least a few court martials for disobeying orders by now."
"And he's let you get away with it." Daniel countered triumphantly.
"You know," Jack said hastily. "Maybe we're looking at this the wrong way. Maybe it's not any of us. Maybe it's the man who wears a cowboy hat because Hammond's from Texas."
"The same guy who considers General Hammond a wise and honorable leader and has shared this opinion?" Daniel chimed in.
"The one who doesn't have to spend half his life in the infirmary?" Sam suggested. "And who didn't sneak out of the base to go for steak."
"Yeah." Jack deadpanned. "That guy."
"Just remember, I retired, you wanted me back." Jack blurted the reminder the second he saw the face of his commanding officer looking down at him and his team members as they lay sprawled on the ramp.
"Colonel, are you all okay?" Hammond asked, concerned. Between them, SG-1 had a knack for making what little hair he had left fall out and their latest escapade had not been any help to his coiffure.
"Think so." Daniel climbed to his feet.
"Will be." Sam added for good measure.
"I am very well, General Hammond." Teal'c inclined his head slightly.
"The damn armbands fell off, that's what happened!" Jack glowered.
Anise had the grace to look abashed. "I am sorry."
"Were you successful in destroying the ship?" General Hammond pressed.
"Indeed we were, General Hammond." Teal'c responded, unable to conceal his pride at having helped deal a blow to Apophis.
"Good." The general acknowledged this news with a nod. "Report to the infirmary."
"General, sir…about the obviously impending court martial, sir…" Jack O'Neill looked more awkward than Hammond - or anyone else - had ever seen him.
"You were all under the influence of an alien technology, Colonel. That's a pretty solid defense." Hammond assured them kindly, neglecting to mention that he considered the battery of physical exams Doctor Fraiser had planned for the trio to be more than enough of a punishment.
"Even so…I'm sorry."
Three quarters of the SGC's flagship team stood, like contrite children, waiting for the fourth to speak up.
"I have no need to apologize." It would have been a lie to say that Teal'c didn't sound smug about this.
"Teal'c was actually following orders." General Hammond told them, the slightest hint of reprimand in his tone.
"Of course he was." Jack waited until the general and the Jaffa were out of earshot before muttering "General's pet!"