Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Warning: Slash, get over it, or get out.
Since this is the last chapter, I just want to say THANKS to all my reviewers! I love you guys! This is for you.
Remus was speechless for what felt like an eternity. When he at last found his voice, he managed to stutter out, "You-you remember?"
Sirius nodded, clutching the book even tighter.
"But… but you said… you said you didn't remember anything. You said you drank more than usual and didn't remember anything."
"I didn't know what else to say."
"I panicked. I didn't want you to think I had taken… advantage. I didn't want to think I had taken advantage. It was easier to pretend. Then James and Peter came back upstairs and you looked so terrified. I thought it best if we didn't tell them, at least not until we'd figured ourselves out, and we could always use the excuse that we were drunk if it bothered you so much. We could pretend it never happened, or we could tell them it didn't mean anything and then pretend we'd forgotten all about it. Whatever happened between us could stay between us. No need for anyone else to get involved if you didn't want them to be. And as for what to tell you… I tried talking to you. You didn't want to talk. I assumed you were angry, but I didn't know why. I wasn't sure if it was something I'd done, if I'd hurt you… You said I hadn't, and you didn't seem hurt, so I believed that. I wondered if you were angry because I did take advantage. I didn't know how to talk to you about it. I'd hoped the words would come to me somehow. You couldn't remember anything. You still can't. What was I supposed to say?"
Does it matter? "I don't know what this has to do with –"
"I remember, Remus. I remember everything. And I knew."
"What?" Remus felt as though he'd come to a crossroad and wasn't sure which direction to take, or even where he was coming from. "You knew? Knew what?"
"You're a werewolf, Rem," Sirius said urgently. "Did you really think that I wouldn't have found out everything I could as soon as I knew?"
"I don't –"
"I've known for years that werewolves mate for life."
"You've known –"
"It's why I never did anything."
"I didn't want to trap you."
"I didn't want to force you into something you weren't ready for. We're so young. I knew I wanted to be with you, I don't know how, I just knew. But I didn't know if you were ready for that, and I didn't want you to have to decide so soon. But then that night…"
"That Night," Remus echoed. His head was whirling. What's happening?
"That Night," Sirius repeated. "That night I was drunk, and we started playing those stupid games, and spin the bottle was my idea, because after I kissed you in the first game I wanted to do it again, and I didn't think I could keep dropping the card without looking suspicious, and we kissed again, and when you kissed James I just wanted to hit him – and he's practically my brother! – so I used a spell to rig the bottle when you spun so we'd kiss again, and then the game ended, and I kept kissing you, and I convinced you to come back up here, and –"
"Stop," Remus put up a hand. This was too much to take in all at once. "Wait." He blinked a few times, trying to arrange his thoughts. It was useless. After a moment, he gave up and nodded, still hopelessly muddled, but feeling a strange desire to hear the rest of the sordid tale.
"I convinced you to come back up here," Sirius said again, "and… I'm so sorry, Rem, I was drunk. I wasn't thinking clearly. I didn't mean to… to seduce you. I just wanted… I don't know what I wanted. I wanted you. I've wanted you for so long, and I just couldn't stop. I still want you."
"You still –"
"And earlier, when you left me in the hall, when you dropped that book, I saw the chapter title, and I realized you must not have realized what had happened. I hadn't really understood what was going on the last few days, but I had assumed it had to do with the mating bond, and I was afraid you were angry with me. I never thought you didn't know about it! I was just wandering around the castle, worrying about what to do, what to say. I realized something wasn't right. I couldn't figure out what it was. Then I felt you when you were up on the Astronomy Tower, and I knew something was wrong. Very wrong. And then up in the dorm, you kept saying you were sorry, and it would have been easier if you'd died, and I couldn't handle it. I wasn't sure why you were saying that! So I came here. I needed to think. And I looked at the book – at the chapter that explains everything – and I saw – I'd forgotten all about… Are you trying to reject the bond?"
"Am I what?"
"The bond! I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I didn't think you could reject it. I didn't realize the werewolf was given the same choice as the human. I'm still not sure why you'd want to reject it, but I can't think of any other explanation."
"You're the one rejecting it…" Remus began, but even as the words left his mouth he realized that they weren't true.
Sirius was shaking his head. "No."
"You're not rejecting it." It wasn't a question.
"I'd accepted it long before I even had a choice to make," Sirius whispered. "Long before I even knew there might be something to accept."
"Then I…" Remus closed his eyes, bringing up a hand to rub them. "How is that possible?" he asked himself aloud.
"Do you have any… reservations?" Sirius's voice broke into Remus's thoughts.
"What?" the brunet let his hand drop back to his side, eyes opening slowly to look at the taller boy.
"Reservations. About the bond. That might explain why you haven't accepted it."
"But I…" Remus stopped. Reservations. "Yes," he admitted in a low voice.
"Yes?" the dark-haired boy questioned.
Golden-brown eyes met grey. "You said you didn't want to trap me. But don't you see, I'm the one who has trapped you? I'm the werewolf. I've been in love with you for so long, but even before I knew about the… the mating bond… I didn't want to drag you down with me. You're my best friend. And so much more than that to me. How could I do that to you? And now this… this thing… I can't ask you to give up your life for me."
"You're in love with me? You were before we…"
"Had sex?" Remus quirked a brow, somehow finding Sirius's reluctance to say the words amusing in spite of everything.
Sirius flushed slightly. "Yes."
"If you can't say it, you shouldn't be doing it, Sirius."
Sirius's flush darkened. "Thank you, Evans."
Remus's lips twitched in a valiant effort to smile, but the situation fought back. "Yes, I'm in love with you. I have been for years. I suppose there's no use fighting that anymore. Can't you see it in my mind anyway?"
"Then what's the problem?"
"How can I ask you to give up everything for me?"
"Who says I'm giving up anything?"
"Rem, you are everything." The book fell to the ground as Sirius closed the distance between them, catching Remus's face between his now-empty palms. "You are my life. How could you even think of asking me to give you up?"
"How can I –"
Sirius rested his forehead against the brunet's. "It's not your decision to make," he whispered.
Remus shuddered at the feel of his companion's heated breath washing over him.
"The only decision you have to make," Sirius continued, "is: do you want to be with me?"
Remus met the grey eyes that were so close to his own.
Be honest, Sirius's voice murmured in Remus's mind.
Yes, Remus thought. Yes, I want to be with you. I need to be with you.
Then be with me.
Remus nodded slightly, and closed the last few centimeters that separated them, sealing his lips to Sirius's as his eyes fluttered shut.
All in an instant, the weight that had been pressing down on Remus since That Night was gone, vanished into thin air… into the past.
Teeth nipped gently at Remus's bottom lip, and Remus couldn't suppress the groan that was building inside him. He pushed closer to the other boy, arms twining around his companion's waist, holding him tight. The hands framing Remus's face moved into his hair, one sliding around to cup the nape of the brunet's neck as the kiss deepened.
Love you, the thought drifted from Sirius's mind to Remus's.
Love you, Remus thought back, then all thoughts vanished as he dissolved into kissing his mate.
A/N: Well, that's that. (I know I was meant to update ToTP this weekend, but I can't seem to finish the next chapter. Sorry! Also sorry to those of you waiting for the rest of RKoW's Ch. 4, it'll be up in due time!) So, what do you think of this fic, now it's done? Perhaps someday I'll write an epilogue, or even a prologue. That might be fun. Of course, if I did that, the majority of it would likely be on my LJ account, due to lemon-ness and the fact that I'm sick of getting temporarily kicked off this site. It also depends on reviews, and what you guys want. So, did you like this fic? Hate it? Love it? Please review and let me know!