Summary: It's hard to imagine things ever coming up when you're down, and vice verse. That's what Kagome Higurashi told herself years ago. Now she's stuck on the bottom, once again. Even though she has to tell herself that things will get better, she highly doubts that they can. The best things to her have been jerked away, once again, and dangled above her head to taunt her.
Rated M for death, depressing material, and foul language...
Song Lyrics (centered)
Best of Us
Chapter 10: Memory Overload
Perhaps there is such a thing as happiness. It won't come to you naturally, like many people believe. You have to work at it. Many people work at it without knowing it, and they're happy. Some people don't realize that it's something to be earned, and never get it. Then there are the few people who don't even know how to work on becomming happy.
I think that I'm no longer in that group...
- - -
"Kagome, do you remember me?" A voice in my mind asks.
No, I don't remember you. What's your name?
"You'll remember soon enough. How does the fire feel against your skin?"
You're an arsonist, aren't you?
"Yes, I am."
Well, why did you involve me in your work for a while? Why did you keep me around you for a period in time?
"All will be revealed soon."
What if I don't want it to be revealed? What if I want to be ignorant? Ignorance is bliss...
"Ignorance is stupidity. Grow up. You'll know."
How'd you get my skin to feel like it was burning?
"It was burning. You can't see the flames."
Am I hallucenating?
"No. You're just experiencing something that you thought you could escape from."
Will you leave me alone? I have a child to pick up from school. I need my body to do it.
"He can wait."
You know his gender. How?
"I am using your body. I'm freezing it from moving, and I'm speaking to you in your mind. How do you think? I can see your memories."
Will you leave? I don't want you knowing my memories. It's bad enough that my husband knows some.
"You don't want me to restore what we had together?"
Ignorance is bliss, I told you. Just leave me alone. I'd rather suffer from these nightmares than remember. Besides, what I do remember is bad enough. I don't need more.
"Wait until you realize what you've done with me..."
"Now you're curious, aren't you?"
No shit, sherlock. Now, what are you talking about?
"You'll find out when I remove the spell."
Spell? What spell?
"You had a spell placed on your mind many years ago. The memories that you experienced were subdued, just as long as you didn't cross a boundary."
Boundary? What'd I do?
"Your husband may know..."
Leave Inuyasha out of this. If I have a past to deal with, you deal with me. My family won't be brought into this.
"What grade is Hainyu in?"
Seventh. Now leave me alone. I have to pick him up.
Just like that, the voice in my head is gone. I sigh then grab my keys to go out to the car. I hesitate for a moment then pick up the phone.
"Sango, it's Kagome. Can you get Hainyu from school? I can't at the moment. I'm kinda scared of my driving..." I tell her.
"Yah, sure... Kagome, lay off the tea. That stuff is addicting, and you know it... Hey, can he stay over?" She asks me.
"I'm serious about coming off the tea." I smile then hang up the phone. Chai Tea isn't addicting. It's just delicious, that's all... Wait, am I defending a drink? Woah. I must be more tired than I thought.
I sit down in my chair and begin to write things down.
( Open Diary Entry )
Kaylee was the best of us. She's gone. My child was going to be the best of us, but it died too...
Now Hainyu is the only thing that Inuyasha and I have. There are problems growing, and I can feel the tension. No one else is even aware of it, though. It's all in my mind... I just have to keep this away from my family. I can't risk losing the last child I have given birth to...
Memories are hard to accept. Mainly the new, devistating ones. There's someone else in my past. Someone worse than Naraku. Much worse. He's been speaking to me through my mind. I think he has hypnosis powers. If only I could tell when he was coming, I'd be able to put a barrier around myself to keep him away.
I guess it doesn't matter. I have a bad past, and I have to get those people away from me. I have to get these bad people away from me in order to move on...
Looking at all the people I have to deal with, I feel like laughing. No wonder I stopped talking. I was so traumatized. I don't think I even realized the gravity of it until I had to lose my family to them...
My body stiffens as memories suddenly come rushing back to me. I feel my hand shaking as I struggle to put my pen back to use. Finally, the memories come to a halt. The only one who understands it is my busy pen...
I don't remember his name... I was only hanging around him for a year. Maybe a year and a half. A lot less time than I was with Naraku. A lot more conflicts there...
He had silver hair with black tips. His eyes were purple. When he got really mad at me, or anyone else, he would rub between his eyes and then his eyes would be red.
What did he do? Everything. He showed me things that I shouldn't have seen. He convinced me that things were okay when they weren't. He controlled my life, when he knew that I didn't want to be controlled.
At one point, he had convinced me that killing people would bring me satisfaction from my pain that Naraku caused. Like a fool, I believed him. I was desperate to think that something would erease the pain...
It didn't. It just added to my nightmares...
( Close Diary Entry )
So, ignorance is bliss. I wish I were ignorant right now. I don't want to know my past. I want to forget it and move on. I want the bliss that everyone desires... Does that mean that my chances of happiness are completely ruined right now? If I'm no longer ignorant, then does that mena that I can never be happy?
Perhaps this would be a good time to talk to Inuyasha and let him be my therapist again...
Sequal: Best of Life
Ignorance is bliss. Bliss is what we all desire. That's the conclusion Kagome Higurashi came up with after realizing thatshe has more of a bad history. Now she has to deal with this on her own. There's no way her family can get dragged down into this again.
So, what did you all think? I hope you liked it. This story was supposed to be longer, but I started getting frustrated with finals going on. I got so mad that I started condensing the chapters and just skipping some of the things. I had to get rid of two chapters due to a problem with me revealing something too soon. I was too lazy to go back and fix the few chapters, so I just... yah... I'm talkative tonight!
And I'm cold. Don't forget that.
So, would you all like a third story? It'll be the last time for me to mess up their lives... Well, not mess up... Perhaps intensify is the right word...
Oh, Chai Tea is very good. The flavor is addicting, though! I'm in love with it, though. Annnd... I'll have the third one out sometime. I'm working on three stories (including the sequal), and I don't know when I'll have time for it...
- Bipolar Tangerine