Operation sell house
"Heero, the real estate agent just phoned. Did you know that the equity for our house just went up around one hundred thousand during the last five years!" Duo exclaimed, overly excited as his boyfriend sat impartially at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper. Duo was hanging over Heero's shoulder, pressing his face close trying to get a reaction from the silent younger man.
"Uhuh…" Heero replied, flipping the page of his newspaper over, licking his finger as he turned the page. He was used to giving this over-used and standard reply to get Duo to be quiet.
"This is great! We're going to get so much money!" Duo then began prancing around the kitchen, spinning and making other weird gestures of happiness, his braid flying out behind his back.
"Only if we decide to sell," Heero mumbled, not even looking at Duo. He was too focused on the business section of his newspaper.
"Please Heero?…" Dup started whining, coming around behind his boyfriend's chair, wrapping his arms around his chest. Duo continued his antics by nuzzling his head into the crock of Heero's neck, licking a sensitive spot that never failed to get a shiver. "It's a hundred thousand dollars in profit. Imagine what we could do with a hundred thousand dollars!" Duo whispered in his ear, grinning like an idiot when Heero shivered. "We could take that trip to Hawaii. The hot sun, tiny little bathing suits, and we wouldn't be bothered for days." Duo continued to rattle off things, each one punctuated with a nip or lick to Heero's neck. "Don't you want to go to Hawaii with me, love?" Duo asked pressing his cheek against Heero's wrapping his arms tighter around the Japanese man.
Heero gave a shaky sigh before he started to talk Duo out of his crazy idea. "Of course I want to go to Hawaii with you. But did it ever occur to you that the other people on our block could have the same idea? Selling our house would be a rat race."
"Oh, come on Heero!" Duo exclaimed grabbing his boyfriend's hand and pulling him to the front window of their living room. Plopping himself down on the couch he pulled his reluctant lover into his lap. "Do you see any for sale signs on any of their houses?" Duo asked, pointing out the window to their neighbour's houses.
"No, but that doesn't mean that there won't be ones out there soon." Heero mumbled, leaning back into Duo's chest getting comfortable for a nap in his warm protective hold.
"Heero, there are leaders and there are followers. We will sell our house and then all the sheep will follow! I guarantee no one else has thought of this yet!"
guarantee?" Heero asked, raising an eyebrow at Duo
Yes I guarantee it! If you don't believe me I'll even throw in a Maxwell security policy: If our house does not sell in a month then I Duo Maxwell will clean our new house for the period of the time we live in it!"
"But you never clean." Heero gave Duo a slightly toned down death glare.
"You should have been a car sales man," Heero mumbled in defeat.
"You won't regret this decision! I promise Hee-chan!" Duo exclaimed, sealing the deal by bringing his lips down on Heero's, treading his hands in the chocolate brown locks he loved so much. His hands drew Heero's head closer and Duo slid his tongue into Heero's mouth. Heero moved closer, straddling Duo's waist, bringing his tongue out to play with Duo's.
Duo abruptly stood up and gave Heero a suggestive smile. Tilting his head, Heero made his way upstairs. Duo's smile changed into a lecherous grin as he watched Heero's ass move up the stairs.
"God, I love your ass Hee-Chan!" Duo whispered into his love's ear as they moved up the stairs together. Heero turned around and gave Duo quick glare before pulling him faster up the stairs. "Well. You're going to have to wait till we get to our room before you get any." Heero said, a second before Duo swooped down, lifted Heero up bridal-style and slammed the bedroom door closed with his foot.
> > >
The next morning, Duo began making the arrangements to get their house on the market. Just as Duo suspected, no one had started to sell on their street yet. Duo was quite self-assured that they would sell their house easily. The mental image of Heero in a maid costume spurred on his drive to sell sell sell!
"Oh, hello Duo! Did you talk to Heero about selling your house?"
"Actually that's why I'm calling."
"All systems go!"
"I don't know how you do it."
"Do you really want to know?"
"No… that's fine Duo… I'll be over later on in the day to put up the for sale sign. It shouldn't take to long to sell your house since it's on the high list at the moment."
"That's what I was looking forward to hear!"
"I'll draw up the papers and I can start brining people over as soon as tomorrow"
"That's great Sally thanks a lot!"
"No problem, Duo. It's my job, Talk to you later!"
As she promised, Sally had people over at the house the next day. What Sally and Duo didn't expect was a for sale sign on the house right next to them. The house that just happened to be owned by the couple Treize Khushrenada and Milliardo Peacecraft.
"Heero!" Duo screamed from the upstairs bathroom window at seven o clock in the morning.
"Heero, come see this!"
"Duo I'm not interested in seeing anything that has you so interested in the bathroom." Heero replied from the bed, reading a book about the world war, trying to ignore his yelling lover in the bathroom.
"Ew your automatically assume its something nasty!" Duo yelled penitently, the sound of the toilet flushing drowning out any other comment that would have followed. "What have I ever done to be condemned to such a fate?" Duo asked Heero once he came back into the bedroom. Flopping down on the plush bed he putt on a convincing innocent look.
"Don't even try to look innocent, Duo."
Duo pouted in defeat. "Fine, I admit I have had some slightly nasty thoughts but this time isn't one of them!"
"Right, Duo." Heero placed his book down and rolled off bed, proceeding to walk across the room to his dresser to change into something that didn't consist of only boxers.
"Well, if you don't believe me, I won't tell you!" Duo replied, rolling over so his back was to Heero
Sighing, Heero looked over at his lover. There was a rare chance that Duo was telling the truth, and Heero physically couldn't stand not knowing. "Alright, Duo. I believe you. Now will you please tell me?"
Duo jumped out of bed, and before Heero knew what was happening he had a grinning Baka's lips on his own.
"Awe, I knew you'd come around baby! Just look out the window.." Duo said, running out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen, most likely to get food.
Heero felt a sense of dread fill his gut as he walked over the window, and out onto the lawn beside their 'for sale' sign. Not only was there one on their house, but there was also one on the house right next door to them. A house that just happened to have the exact same floor plan and value as theirs did. A house that was owned by their evil neighbours. The ones they never had pleasant conversations with.
"Duo, you do realize that it's going to almost impossible to sell this house now?" Heero asked, now slightly calmer then earlier.
"Well… yah. I didn't expect something like this to happen." Duo said, patiently trying to win Heero over with the sad-eyed expression.
"No, Duo! Don't even try that! Didn't I say this was going to happen? But does anyone listen to Heero! NO! Just because I don't talk non-stop, doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about! Do you even care? No! No one even give a flying fu--"
"Heero, snap out off it!" Duo snapped, giving Heero a not-so gentle slap to the face, also referred to as a bitch slap. "This isn't the time to start getting all crazy on me! We have to figure out how to sell this house first!"
"This isn't my problem, Duo! We made a bet remember? I wash my hands clean of this!" Heero stated, pushing his chair back from the kitchen table, throwing his hands into the air.
"Heero, this is your house too. Do you realize we could lose thousands from this? Do you really trust me to handle something like this by myself?" Duo asked, not liking the idea that he had to put himself down. However, he had to. Heero's cooperation was needed in this operation.
Heero just sighed and flopped back down into his seat. "I'm assuming from that grin on your face that you have an idea."
Duo's grin just widened and he bounded over to Heero and wrapped his arms around his lover's waist.
"Let me explain my plan in one word…" Duo said, gesturing his hand out in front of them as if showing Heero something very grand and invisible "Sabotage."