Star Crossed Lies and Other Hidden Feelings
By GilmoreGirl1979 (the Reigning Quote Queen)
Provider of Quality FAN FICTION
Rating: let's say PG-13 with an ISH?
R/R: yes please I love reviews; I wanna marry them (as previously stated, I have strange passions.)
Hi! This is your friendly disclaimer: I REJECT ASP's AND NOW DR's REALITIES AND SUBSTITUTE MY OWN! I don't own (DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!), No Harm No Sue.
LOCALIZY: you cross my I's and dot my T's, baby you're the greatest!
A/N: This chapter brought to you by the letter D and the number 3
A/N: The show sucks, that's why you are here…
To all of my beautiful minions
I'll Stay With You
Lorelai waited an hour for Luke's return, only Rory came home and was confused why her mother was so worked up if she had had the day off. Lorelai was already pacing and in mid-rant when Rory came in the house, perhaps Starbucks brewed the coffee a little too strong this morning.
"Why, why, just when things were settling down," Lorelai whined.
"What's going on?" Rory put down her book bag.
"I mean, you know that we are dating and are fine with it," Lorelai pointed to Rory then raised her arms above her head, "Score! You're back home away from my brain washing parents, you know about my trust fund and don't resent me for it because you know basically I'll be splitting it with you anyway, by providing such things as food and clothes; and REALLY!! How much longer can Rachel stay for this weird visit to her ex-boyfriend anyway… I'm here; I'm the girlfriend now, it's not like she can steal him back now…."
"Mom, what happened?"
"Oh, God. he's mad at me, what if she takes advantage of the situation and steals him back?" Lorelai was unable to bear the thought of Rachel caressing Luke's tattoo and other regions.
"He wanted to talk to me and I didn't see that it was obviously important to him," Lorelai saw Luke's hurt expression in her mind again, "I have to talk to him. That's it. I have to find him and just have it all out."
"Talk to who?" Rory asked.
"Why, why did he have to come here? Stupid man!" Lorelai agonized at Max Medina's abysmal timing yet again.
"Who came where?" Rory insisted on an explanation.
Lorelai finally explained to her daughter, "Max came here, he wanted to make sure you hadn't killed me and clogged my body in the sink disposal, only he didn't want to make sure I was alive, he wanted to talk about us," Lorelai said with exasperation, "… I can only assume about starting us up again which is ten shades of crazy since I'm already started with Luke!!"
"Max wants you back…" Rory said surprised. She hadn't been serious when she threw that line in her teacher's face the other day; she just was groping for anything to get him off her case about her broken heart.
Lorelai waved off, "Oh I don't know, I didn't let him finish, all signs were pointing to that though… and then Luke had to walk in…" Lorelai agonized again.
"Luke was here?"
"He came here early because he wanted to have a discussion about us, the trust fund, Max's phone call, I assume to take advantage that you had a forty minute bus ride and he would have my full attention. Then he saw Max standing in the doorway and he assumed the worst, that he was here to get back together with me or that I'd be so willing to just jump in his arms…"
"In Luke's arms or Max's arms."
"I'm sorry, I'm having trouble keeping up," Rory apologized, "and you want to be in Max's arms?"
"No! Luke's!" Lorelai barked frustrated.
Rory desperately wanted to help her mother, "Okay, maybe you should start from the beginning? And a little more slowly…."
"There's no time, I have to find Luke," Lorelai grabbed her purse and was out the door.
When the door slammed closed again, Rory blew out a long breath, "So Rory, how was your day? Just fine, Rory, thanks for asking," she plopped on the couch, stared at the ceiling pondering why their lives always seemed so tempestuous and she hoped for the best.
Lorelai awkwardly parked in front of the diner, and ignored Taylor yelling that her Jeep was too far away from the curb, waving off his complaints with a distracted "BLAH!"
The good news was Rachel didn't seem to be around. The bad news was that Luke looked upset. Lorelai saw Babette fervently elbow Miss Patty when she walked in with the jingle of bells above her head. She felt Miss Patty's eyes follow her as she approached the counter and Luke. Lorelai discreetly whispered to Luke, "Luke can we talk? Please?"
"I'm busy," he dismissed.
"Luke, please," Lorelai insisted, "It's important."
Luke called over his shoulder, "Caesar I'll be back in a minute."
Lorelai had to smirk, she hoped she was worth more than a minute of his time, being his girlfriend. They went upstairs and entered the apartment together. Lorelai started off innocently, "You didn't come back from the hardware store."
"You're disposal is fine," he said quickly.
"Well, good; are you fine?"
"No, I'm not," he said finally boiling over since his questions had been simmering for twenty-four hours.
"Okay, then talk to me. What's the problem?"
"MAX," he barked, did he really have to say it?
Lorelai defended herself, "I didn't ask him to come to the house, he just showed up!"
"Like he just called, twice in a week?"
"Luke, I don't want him. I'm with you."
"Are you?" Luke asked snidely.
"Well, I'm getting an awful lot of mixed signals on this end," Luke put his hands on his hips.
"Luke, I'm dating you, I slept with you."
"So what? You sleep with me and that's enough to prove you care?"
"Did you sleep with Max?"
"What? I don't see what relevance that has on us…"
"Well, you say you're done with him, how long till you're done with me?"
"Okay, woaw, back up a second…"
"Didn't you sleep with Christopher last time he came to town?"
"Hey! That was a low blow…"
"It's true though isn't it? You cared more for sleeping with Chris than for helping me paint the diner which was all your idea by the way because I hate painting!!" Luke finished in a holler because this temper was starting to rise.
"I did paint the diner, by myself, to make it up to you…"
Luke ignored her, "Then there is the money?"
"Your trust fund money…"
"Luke, I didn't know about it, I'm still just as floored as you are. I'm pissed at my mother because frankly over the last 16 years I could have used it."
"What do you mean for what? To raise my daughter? To provide her with food and clothes and books?"
"And a Bentley?"
"Luke, what are you talking about? You are all over the place…."
"Change, Lorelai, this is all about change."
"Okay?" Lorelai tried to follow him.
"The other day, you didn't want Rory to have that money 'cause it meant freedom, independence, that she wouldn't need you anymore. Now you're singing a different tune because it's you who has the money, you're the one in control. The point is the other night you said you didn't want things to change and well now they are changing, dramatically, and it's too fast for me! One second you're dating Max, and then you're not! One minute we are just pretending to be together, the next you can't keep your hands off me! We're lying to your daughter and our friends about what we really are! Are you embarrassed by me or something?!"
"It's okay now. Rory knows, and soon we can tell everyone and they'll be happy for us."
Luke continued on like he hadn't heard her, "Then suddenly you hit the jackpot and I'm not good enough for you anymore…"
"I've never said that!"
"…But you're thinking about it right? You now have oodles of money, the freedom to finally do whatever it is you want, you can leave this town behind you…"
"You mean leave you behind," Lorelai deduced.
"Lorelai, we come from two different worlds… you adapt and fit in my world so well, but… I can't do that with yours…"
"I don't want you too," Lorelai stepped forward, and forced Luke to look at her, "It's not my world…that world suffocated me, that world lied to me, okay. I hate that world, I ran from that world…just because I have money now doesn't mean I'm going to start to have caviar and escargot every night…I'm still me, burgers and fries, movie night, coffee drinking me… who wants to be with you..."
Suddenly, the apartment door opened, and Rachel walked in, "Oh I'm sorry am I interrupting …again," she laughed lightly, sensing the intense air of the room. Rachel was confused, yesterday Luke and Lorelai were so loving, so together, and now you could cut the tension in the room with a knife.
Lorelai folded her arms, uncomfortable around the ex-girlfriend, "No, no, you're not. We were just having a discussion," Lorelai eyed Luke; angry at his assumptions, and longing to finish their conversation.
"Oh," Rachel reacted.
"What?" Lorelai asked harshly at the look on Rachel's face.
"Well, it's just… my parents used to have those… they are divorced now…"
Lorelai looked back at Luke pointedly, "No worries of that, we're not married," then Lorelai left.
Rachel thought she picked up what they had been discussing. Lorelai wants to get married? and Luke doesn't… Rachel thought that sounded strange, but then realized that she might have put Luke off marriage for a while, and now that he found the one, he was helpless and hesitant to take that step.
"You okay?" Rachel asked Luke.
"Yeah," Luke said quickly, "Um, if it's all right… I think I should stay here tonight… on the couch of course…"
"Well, sure it is your couch…and your place. Everything okay with Rory?" Rachel couldn't understand, Luke and Lorelai seemed so together and caring yesterday. Suddenly they were fighting?
"Yeah, she's home, she's safe…"
"Mom, it will be okay really," Rory assured, offering her mother a fresh mug of coffee from the kitchen.
"He's just so… stubborn," Lorelai spat, at her wits end with the baseball cap wearing man.
"Pot, meet the kettle."
"Infuriating," Lorelai listed.
"Again just like you…"
"You really like him."
"Totally," Lorelai sighed, "Oh why is my life so complicated!!"
Suddenly the door bell rang, "Maybe that's him?" Rory said hopefully.
"It's too soon."
Rory wanted to prove her mother wrong and went to let Luke in. When she opened the door she found a string had been tied to the door knob with a note, it read: follow me.
Lorelai came and examined the curious clue. "Well, at least you will be getting lucky tonight."
"How do you know it's not for you?"
"Rory, trust me, this one is all yours," Lorelai patted her daughter's shoulder and went back to pout on the couch.
"Well, what should I do?" Rory asked.
"Follow it," Lorelai shrugged.
"But I don't know what's on the other end?"
Lorelai looked back at her daughter, "Only one way to find out."
Rory giggled at the peculiar string, she took it in her hands and began to follow it down the street.
When the front door closed again Lorelai smiled, "Ata boy, Dean."
Rory followed the string past her mail box, and then Babette's mailbox, another turn down Kirk's street, winding and twisting, and changing colors a few times with knots as more string needed to be added to suit the purpose; then Rory reached the town square. Rory made sure she looked both ways before crossing into the lawn of the center of town and headed toward the gazebo. She walked up the steps and saw the interior of the gazebo was decorated with flowers. Rory was starting to think that her mother had been mistaken, that all this was intended for Lorelai; but Luke was angry, he wouldn't pull together this romantic gesture so soon, perhaps Max was the mastermind trying to win Lorelai back with a grand gesture. Rory suddenly turned and saw a man with a guitar she didn't really know that well.
"Who are you?"
"I'm the town troubadour," he announced.
Rory's brow furrowed, "We don't have a town troubadour."
"You do now," the man with glasses assured and started to strum his guitar.
Let me tell you a story
About a boy named Dean…
And his fall from glory.
Well, he was in love
But was proud
He found the courage
To say it aloud
To a special girl
To him she meant the world.
Well, he took his time
To do it right
Saved some money
And planned a night
Just to try and please her
And a bonfire too
He found the moment
To say I love you
He was scared
By the way she blankly stared
The words the girl
Did not return
Inside him it began
He lost his head
He did not see the tears she shed
Forgive this fool
He did not mean
The beating of his heart
He can't stand to be apart
He loves you still
Take him back
If that's your will
If you still want a happy ending
Just turn around and start the mending
Rory spun around and suddenly Dean appeared, he came up the steps to meet Rory in the Gazebo. "Hi."
"Hi?" Rory was surprised to see him.
"I wanted to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost it like that… broken up with you."
Rory didn't know what to say or do. Her hands wouldn't stop fidgeting; she wanted to touch him, to hug him again, have things be the way they were before.
"I still feel the same," Dean's hair hung in front of his face, "So if you wanted… we could get back together? And when you're ready to say…"
Rory pounced on him, dragging his tall frame down so she could meet his lips. Dean happily hunched over for the affection as Rory repeatedly pecked at his lips.
"I love you too," Rory said between kisses.
This encouraged Dean to pick Rory up off the ground and spin her while the troubadour played his guitar again, serenading the reunited couple.
Lorelai crawled into bed with Luke, naked. Luke was eager to hold her, to kiss her; he attacked the sensitive spots he had learned to focus on over their few times together. she cooed and moaned her approval, desperately wanting to show him how she felt once again.
"I love you Lorelai," Luke confessed.
"Of course you do," she teased, "Oh Luke…" she sighed, as if she loved the things he was doing to her, and whispered right in his ear, "I hate you."
"What?" Luke was stunned that she would say such a thing while they were about to make love again.
Lorelai's tone was sweet but her words were harsh, their venom deluding Luke's hormones and he got a contradicting message as she kept kissing him with hot, hormonal whispers, egging him on to make love to her as she spoke; "I hate you, God having you touch me makes my skin crawl, the last few weeks have been hell, and to sleep with you, GAH I can't believe I was that desperate…but sometimes you just need to get laid." She blew into his ear, "How could I ever love a nobody failure like you…"
Luke hated to hear the words, he tried to separate from her, the evil naked Lorelai, but somehow she was stronger than him.
"I should be with Christopher, sure character wise he's worthless … but he comes from a good family, comes from money like I do…and he is Rory's father that must be considered as well. One pretty little package, the happy, wealthy family together again," she sighed sinisterly. "Or maybe I should get back together with Max, he is a scholar, and can keep up with my obscure references to rapture. He did go to college you know, unlike you. He's a quality man and Rory's teacher… she could learn a lot from him; but then, I haven't really decided yet," she said as indifferently as Scarlet O'Hara. "Besides, what could Rory learn from you…what could you possibly offer her as a father figure?"
Here words were opposite of her actions, and Luke didn't know what to believe. He wanted to push her off him, distance himself from her hurtful words, but somehow he was trapped listening to her poison.
"I despise you Luke. The only redeeming thing about you is the coffee…which, I assure you is the only reason I kept coming back to that smelly, dirty diner of yours all of these years. The only reason for the last five years was the coffee."
Luke woke up and Rachel let out a yelp of surprise as she fell back onto the floor.
Luke was disoriented, but he made out that figure wasn't Lorelai as his eyes adjusted to reality again, "I'm sorry… are you okay?" Luke asked, looking at where she had landed.
"I was about to ask you the same thing," Rachel asked from the floor between the couch and coffee table.
"Oh um, just a ...bad dream I guess," Luke dismissed.
"You never had those before…"
"Look, I really don't want to talk about it or analyze it with a dream dictionary like you girls do… just please go back to sleep…"
"Okay… sure..." Rachel got up from the floor and headed back to his bed, yet Rachel recalled a popular song from their teen years, I hear the secrets that you keep, when you're talking in your sleep…
Lorelai was jealous of Rory. No doubt Dean had pulled together some romantic miracle and that was why Rory wasn't home yet.
Lorelai didn't know what was going on with Luke. Everything seemed fine, they were together, Rory knew and she was about to inherit oodles of money. However they were in a real couple fight, not speaking, and Lorelai didn't feel like talking to anyone. She didn't know what to do, usually when she was confused or in tumult she could go vent things out with Luke, her coffee provider, her best friend, her rock.
However now that rock was her boyfriend; he was no longer just a bystander he was the leading man and he had his own confusion over the situation to deal with.
There was a knock on the front door, Lorelai knew Rory would just come in and spill the details of her insanely romantic evening; Lorelai decided she had better plaster on a smile to nod her way through Rory's retelling, yet deep down she hoped it would be Luke, but was doubly disappointed by Rachel standing there, "Oh hi."
"Can I help you?" Lorelai said pointedly.
"Actually, I was hoping to help you," Rachel invited herself in, leaving her duffel on the porch since she wasn't going to be long.
"Really? About what?"
"About you and Luke."
"Rachel we don't have to talk about Luke, I actually think he'd prefer it…"
But Rachel cut Lorelai off, "It's my fault."
"That he's not open to marriage, I abused him horribly, well with my wanderlust, and well, maybe he's timid now about the idea, cause … he's afraid that even if he does commit to you… you'll leave him… like I did."
Boy lady… you are really off! And full of yourself!
"You two seem really happy," Rachel observed, accepting that he was with Lorelai, almost content that Luke was so well taken care of.
"Thank you … we are …most of the time," When we aren't pretending or fighting.
"…and I hate to think that I ruined things for you, so can I give you some advice?"
"Just give him some more time. And If", then Rachel corrected, "… when he does propose, don't run away from him… and don't let him go. Not now… not for an instant. He is the very best man…"
"Wait a minute, "It was then that Lorelai got some insight in to Luke and Rachel's last Good-bye. "Did he …?"
"Yeah. We were engaged all of 5 hours. It was just such bad timing for us. He was tired of me floating in and out of his life. He wanted me to be more… permanent, to settle down, have a family. He wanted a promise, a guarantee," she shrugged. "I came for him five years after his father's funeral. I stayed all of 6 months and I think he took that to mean I was there to stay. When November came, the anniversary of William's death was too much for him he still missed his father so much. he asked me, and I think he just didn't want to be alone anymore, and I did love him, so I said 'yes', to make him happy; but you see, my work was finally getting noticed, and there was still so much I wanted to do and see. I had an opportunity to go to Australia and photograph an Aboriginal tribe. And we were still pretty young, and I got scared, and saw our small town life flash before my eyes. I saw everything I thought I wanted slipping away, my career slipping away stuck in Stars Hollow forever. So, I took the ring off and put it on his father's desk, and I left … again, while he was sleeping, without a word to anyone. I'd say that is pretty final wouldn't you?"
"To say the least." Lorelai was appalled; no wonder Luke wanted her gone.
"Apparently he thought so too. Which is why he found you… I'm happy he found you. I can tell … he loves you very much."
Lorelai started to blush, "How can you tell?" wondering if like was really only pretending after their stolen kisses.
"I've known him since I was 6, so trust me I know."
Lorelai followed Rachel outside and watched as she picked up the duffel bag from the porch. There was also a cab waiting for Rachel.
"There's no reason for me to stay… take good care of him."
"I will," Lorelai promised.
Rory came back and told her mother all about the string, the troubadour and Dean. Lorelai was happy for her daughter, Rory was Rory again everything was back to normal save for Luke.
Dean's gesture inspired Lorelai, she wasn't going to hire the troubadour to write a song for them but she knew at the very least they had to work beyond shouting at each other and get to the heart of the problem.
Early the next day, Lorelai went to the diner and sat on the steps. She waited outside for Luke to begin his opening ritual, hoped he would see her and let her in.
Suddenly, the bells jingled behind her, "Lorelai?"
She stood up quickly and turned around, "Hi."
"I don't open for an hour? I don't have any coffee!"
"I know, we really need to talk."
Luke let her in and started taking chairs off the table tops.
"Luke, come on don't ignore me…"
"Because Rachel is gone now."
Luke looked genuinely surprised, "What?" he had just come from the apartment, he honestly hadn't noticed if he had seen Rachel in his bed while he was getting ready he had been so focus on his nightmare. He went upstairs and Lorelai quickly followed him.
Luke had just seen Rachel last night when he woke up from his dream, he called into the apartment "Rachel?" but her duffel bag was gone. Luke saw a note on the kitchen table, just like the one she left him years ago and he read it while Lorelai shyly came into his apartment.
It was good to see you again. I only want you to be happy and I can see you have found that with Lorelai. I won't be back unless I get an invitation to the wedding.
No pressure, but tell her everything, tell her how you really feel or you may loose her too. Seeing you together, I don't think you could survive that. Lorelai is who you were meant to be with.
"She's gone…for good."
"Luke, I've been thinking… we should … stop pretending."
"What?" Luke had been waiting for this, he knew she still had feelings for Max, he knew even though they slept together it was too good to be true.
"We should tell the town about us. Be out in the open no hiding, no shame, just us, together.
"Huh?" that wasn't what he was expecting.
"I don't want us to end, I don't want things the way they were before… I mean they don't have to be the same, I mean yes I want to joke and talk with you as my friend… but you're so much more to me now…"
"Well, we said no going back…" Luke was slowly processing her words, she was doing a lot of double speak and he found it hard to follow.
"Luke, will you listen to me! I don't want Chris or Max; I want you! You're my boyfriend, I want this to continue! I want to go on patented Luke Danes dates, maybe even a baseball game if you don't mind me asking a bunch of questions because I really don't see the point of throwing a ball just to hit it with a stick…."
"Lorelai, what the hell are you talking about…"
"Us…" Lorelai started to step toward him to close the distance between them, "I want to be with you, I'm crazy about you… and you are just going to have to accept that… okay?" Lorelai pulled him toward her, to shut him up with a passionate kissed.
"Hm, Lorelai?" Luke was breathless from her kisses again.
"I told you… I'm ending the charade," hoping she'd have better luck with a different word.
He looked her dead in her eye, "What about the money?"
"So I have money big deal? When I was thinking about all the things I was going to do with the money I was planning on sending Rory to college, getting out from my mother's thumb, investing in my own inn. But in all those wonderful day dreams you were there beside me to help me. Sitting with me at Rory's graduations from Chilton and Harvard; Without the obligatory dinners with my mother I'd have Friday nights free for date nights with you… you with me to help me christen all the guest rooms when I open my own Inn. You're in the picture Luke, you're part of the plan…you've always been there…"
"…And I'm not going to leave you," Lorelai was still getting frustrated that she couldn't get through that thick ball cap of his, "I'm in love with you, you big idiot!" her lips crashed onto his again.
Luke eagerly enveloped her in his arms. Luke forgot about the diner needing to open, about Lorelai's money and mother. Everything was wiped clean, a fresh start.
She was in love with him and he loved her too.
Cause I'm out of ideas for this one… Shrugs, sorry
Hope you enjoyed my sad attempt at song writing…
Debbie's thought for the month of May:
The show comes full circle… which is just a stupid way of saying we haven't gone anywhere.
"That was all God given talent..." why thank you NON POD Luke!
R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,
"...Remember this is for posterity ... so be honest."
Please be specific with R/R; name one (or as many as you can think of or want to mention..…) At least one specific thing you liked
Please! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)
Hence the Rant option below.
Insert Rant here V
A/N: if not completely satisfied with this chapter, please return unused portion for a full refund...