Tonight
At a fern bar,
Fat, foolish
And fifty-four
Sits down
Heavily
Beside you,
Orders a
Shirley Temple
And tries to
Strike up
A conversation.

Awkwardly
She admits
She's just
Divorced her
Husband, Al,
Hairy back,
Barcalounger,
Snore, and all.
"'S time I had
Me some fun.
How 'bout you,
Handsome?"

Bloody hell!
Had she been
Thirty years
Younger,
Four stone
Lighter, and
Five kids fewer,
You might have
Taken her bait
But fat, foolish
And fifty-four?
You still have
Some pride left!

Leering,
The other you
Whispers in
Your ear,
"Inside an
Old girl,
There's a
Young girl…"
"No,"
You reply
"Too old,
This one's-"

Fangs bared,
You interrupt:
"Old has its uses."
Then shrug,
Looking
At your talons.
"Humor her
Dowdiness.
She's good
For a buck,
Trust me
On this one."

She buys you
A drink,
Boldly sliding
Her hand
Up your thigh,
While asking
You to dance.
Bloody hell,
This fat old cow
Wants to
What?
So you do.

Later,
You walk
Her home.
The other you
Capering
Alongside,
As she leans
Heavily,
On your arm
Simpering
Like the deb,
She once was.

She waddles
Up the front
Steps of her
Ticky-tacky
Tract house,
And opens her
Door,
Tipsily
Inviting
You and
You
In.

The other
You jeers
At her
Dated kitchen,
Harvest gold and
Avocado green
While she
Makes coffee,
Desire clear
In every move
Of a fat and foolish
Woman of fifty-four.

Giggling, she
Offers you a cup.
The other you
Rolls his eyes,
Bored as you
Thank her
Like a good boy.
She says,
"I've never done
Anything this
Naughty before.
What would
Al think?"

"F…f…fuck Al!"
She adds
A shot of
Bourbon
To both
Your coffees
"I want fun.
I haven't had
Fun since… since…
Let's have fun,"
She puckers up,
"Gimme kiss!"

And because
Even a fat and
Foolish woman
Of fifty-four,
Has her uses,
You give her
One final thrill,
One deep kiss,
Before tearing
Out her throat-
Making her
Yours forever.

Your blood
Upon her lips,
She falls
Heavily to the
Faded linoleum,
"Well done, mate!"
The other you
Grins his
Approval,
Pointing at
Her basement door,
You nod, numb.

Humming,
You bury
A fat and foolish
Woman of fifty-four,
Newly divorced
The first
Of your
Future brood,
To sleep beneath
Her cellar floor
As the other you
Laughs.