AN Weird, I'm sorry but there are penguins, for a little bit anyway, Rodney whumping without there really being any.

Disclaimer – I own the DVDs, that's as close as I'm going to get

Rating – G

Summary – Who would ever suspect the penguin? Penguins! I couldn't resist.

Suspect the Penguin

When it came to a major crisis John would be the first one to admit there was no one he wanted at his back more than Rodney McKay. Lord knows the scientist had pulled them out of the way of certain death more times than anyone could count.

During a minor one though… it always seemed to be Zelenka's team who was rushing round in a desperate panic.

There was the one about a month ago with the Transporter tubes suddenly shutting down… of course that was the one Rodney had spent most of trapped in a sound-proofed and, more importantly, more worrying, air-proof Transporter tube.

And a couple of weeks after that when they'd found the de-aging machine… the de-aging machine that had turned Rodney into a six month year old, come to think

And of course who could forget the one just last week, in which Rodney had suddenly discovered that he had a complete inability to speak or write anything other than what had turned out to be the Ancient's equivalent of Shakespearean style prose. Then again, that one had been quite funny, he and Ford had personally taken great delight in annoying Rodney about it, until the scientist in question had turned to them and snarled what Elizabeth had later translated to be the Ancient equivalent of 'a plague on both your houses.'

John looked ruefully down at the penguin that was sitting on the seat next to him, doing a remarkable job of crossing its flippers and glaring at the science team, squawking ever so often as though he thought they might have forgotten him.

'Perhaps,' he thought, 'the reason Rodney wasn't involved in sorting these things out was that they tended to be happening to him.' Really, he needed to take more care instead of just rushing in and trying every device before they knew what it did. John plastered an innocent expression on his face as the penguin turned to look at him distrustfully. That was what he did after all.

Suddenly the penguin snarled at him and John almost leapt a mile. Watching the penguin warily, he suddenly cleared his mind as a sneaking suspicion hit him.

Psychic penguins, what next?

Then again, for sending into enemy camps…

John edged further towards the edge of his seat, trying not to look like he was backing away.

Who would ever suspect a penguin?