A/N: Okay first of all I have gone crazy with Markus/Amelia fics. This will probably be my last for a while. I want to work on something with Lucian and Sonja in it. Anyway I just thought it would be nice to try and get this pairing out there..I have fallen in love with the idea of the two of them. Think about how Victor would feel about it..why he would forbid it surely. He would think the two would plot against him..anyway I just thought I would give everyone some idea of what was going through my mind. I hope eventually to be able to read some Markus/Amelia fanfiction instead of writing it..
Forever can be a wonderful word; it can be an exquisite word. Forever can be a beautiful and romantic word. It often brings to the mind visions of love and bliss. I would like to have thought of forever that way, and I did for a time. Forever..a word I used for myself and for those ideals of love that great poets wrote about. I know now that forever can be a terrible word. Forever can be an awful word that makes my heart ache dully in my chest. It feels as if it is breaking again and again when I say that word. Forever is the word I now use for the sorrowful and painful life I will lead for the rest of eternity. Forever is no longer an idea that makes me glad of my curse..its a word that makes me wish someone truly would destroy me and send me on to whatever awaits me. Forever is the word I use when I think of her.
I think of the absurd promises I once made to her. I think of the long nights we spent together, nights that I so painstakingly hid from Victor and the rest of the coven. I was always so completely careful never to let anyone know of Amelia and I. Of course it was inevitable, and when he learned of us..Victor forbid it. He must have suspected that we would conspire against him. I cannot pretend that the conversation never came to pass. The things she said to me the night that William was made a prisoner still cause my heart to ache in shame.
"You were supposed to be mine for all of eternity, Amelia! You were supposed to belong to me! Your loyalties were to me..you betrayed me.." She flinched as if I had slapped her. Her beautiful eyes sparkling with tears that refused to fall. She was not angry with me..I suppose she understood a bit of what I was feeling. Still it hurt her to listen to me accuse of her of the cruelty I felt she had inflicted upon me.
"You will understand in time.." How was it that she had become so wise? Had I not noticed the moment when her age seemed to have surpassed mine? Had my eyes been so clouded that I had missed the changes that had occurred in her? Had i truly been to blind to see the moment she had ceased to need me? "You could not have kept him at bay..you could not control William..he had to be locked away..Its not forever..you and I will find a way to change him..to save him, just as I promised you I would. This imprisonment is neccessary.." Her marble fingers stroked his arm as she spoke her soft and intelligent words.
"I did not want him to be harmed..he is my brother." My words ached with the fierce pain and anger I felt. The sense that I had been betrayed by the only one I had truly trusted had not entirely left me..however it had faded just a bit.
"I did not know that Victor meant to do it..It was a cruel desception, I will not pretend otherwise.."
"And yet you were the one who gave the order for more! 'More' you cried! " The anger within me took over, and my arm involuntarily jerked from her grasp. I recoiled as if in disgust when she attempted to comfort me. It was truly as if I had ceased to care for her at all. No, that isn't right at all is it? I felt as if she had ceased to care for me, and that was perhaps the worst pain I had ever known..to love one who felt nothing for me.
"When our eyes met did you not see the sorrow I felt for the terrible act I was forced to commit? Did you not see the pity I felt..the guilt..did you not see my shame?" Her eyes could no longer meet mine, and they rose to the stone walls of my chamber. I thought back to the moment that our eyes had met hours before. I had seen a glimmer of something I had not recognized at the moment in my fury. It must have filled Victor with sadistic glee to see the exchange between us that night..the silent looks I had fixed her with. He must have believed that he had truly ruined anything that had been between us.
"I understand, Amelia. You are afraid of Victor..you obey him as if he is your creator.."
"But I do not love him as if he gave me my immortal life.." I ignored her interruption, her sweet, pleading voice making me angry instead of merciful. I wanted to reach out and tear her apart..I wanted to feast upon her life's blood and watch as her eyes dimmed one final time..but I could not do it. Instead I decided to lash out with my tongue, although I would have been careful with my words had I thought any longer.
"You are a coward!" My accusation made her lips twitch in anger and I could see the blood of her last meal rise into her face as she gasped.
"I..I am the coward? Markus, you are the the coward! You bow down to Victor and give into him as if he had more power than you! You who are the source of all vampires! You could strike him down and return to your position as Lord of our strange race! No..I am not the coward."
She had been right. If I had struck Victor down myself, something would have changed. She might never have been murdered. Kraven and his team had sat by as she was drained of ever drop of her blood. The thought made my blood boil..but I had given Kraven his reward. He had deserved so much more pain for his betrayal of my beloved Amelia. I would never see her again. We were parted forever..and forever was a very long time. It was perhaps then that I decided that the entire race of vampires would pay for what had been done to her..and for what had been done to my brother. I would make them all..each and every immortal..sorry for their every sin. When I burned down the coven, I laughed. I went crazy with laughter as I listened to the ones inside dying. Any who had known of Amelia's death and had done nothing..they were all destroyed thanks to me. I might have succeeded..somehow I went wrong. Someone everything changed. Perhaps my intentions were not as noble as I had first thought them..perhaps I took things to far.
When I released William..I realized the end of my family before it had even started. At that moment I closed my eyes for just a moment..it would not be long before we would be united again. Was their life after true death? Was there a place where we might be together again. As my life flashes before my eyes..as I draw closer to my fate with each passing moment, with each movement of hers..of Selene's..I had lost her..my love..the second of the race that I had created..we should have been together forever. We should have had forever to share everything we could have shared.
I realize now that forever is a long time.