Introduction

Narrator: Welcome, fellow readers to one of the weird, wackiest, hilarious, and partially idiotic interpretation of what the ever-so-popular rail shooter, THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD, is all about. Personally, it is my favorite rail-gun shooter because of all the zombies, missions, chapters, people, characters, HEAD A-SPLODE! kind of thing… You get the idea. Well, now its time to tell you all about HOUSE OF THE DEAD! It all began with a crazy dude named Dr. Roy Curien… is it Rudy? Or is it Charles? Anyways, this young man tries to find a cure for his sick son, but he becomes insane and creates zombies-OF-THE-DEAD! They are set loose and they eat the scientists-OF-THE-DEAD! Then, they start roaming around inside and outside the mansion-OF-THE-DEAD! OH NO! But two AMS (American Misbehavior Society) agents, Agent G and Agent Rogan go to Curien's to investigate the disappearances of these dead scientists! But what dangers will they encounter as they travel through the HOUSE OF THE DEAD! MWA HA HA HA!

Characters

House of the Dead 1

Agent Rogan: Agent Rogan of the AMS (American Misbehavior Society) is the main hero of this series. He is also the humorous, light-hearted, and to put it this way, "idiotic" partner of Agent G. He and his partner go on a little trip to investigate at a mansion belonging to a very intelligent young man named Dr. Curien, hoping to find out why many scientists from the DBR are disappearing all around and inside of the area. Personally, he is only there to rescue his girlfriend, Sophie Richards, an employee and personal assistant to Dr. Curien. Nineteen years later, Rogan disappears in the tall DBR lab facility, thus making his nineteen-year-old daughter, Lisa Rogan, and his old partner G go out into the middle of nowhere to find him.

Agent G: Agent Rogan's down-to-Earth, cold-hearted gunman from the AMS. Unlike Rogan, G is not so easily distracted. He always seems to say cruel statements about Rogan and his stupidity, and it he is also known to have the most common sense than any other AMS member in his unit because of his intelligence and that fact that he likes to ponder about the illogical events that occur in this story. He also seems to not have a liking for humor, cuz' it will take a LOT more than a joke to make G smile. Before the investigation of the Curien Mansion, was only a merciless and strict agent from the AMS, but after the Curien Mansion Incident, his view of the world itself began to change. Nineteen years later, G goes on a search for Rogan with his nineteen-year-old daughter Lisa in the Tower of Babel er, I mean the EFI lab facility.

Dr. Roy Curien: The extremely intelligent geneticist and biochemist who started it all. The founder and current leader of the DBR, Dr. Curien is the head honcho in his genetic labs that are said to contain inhumane experiments and what-nots of that sort. His original goal was to find a cure for his sick son, Daniel Curien, who was suffering from a rare, but odd illness that always kept him bedridden. One day, Dr. Curien finally snaps after trying to find the perfect cure for that dang illness, and begins to make inhumane experiments and unleash them amongst the other scientists just for the heck of it. Dr. Curien hates big businesses and the AMS, but he loves cheese and crackers with a helping of a glass of milk with some cookies.

Sophie Richards: Agent Rogan's girlfriend and personal assistant to the mad Dr. Curien. She is kidnapped by the Dr. Curien and kept inside of the mansion by the Hanged Man, a gruesome experiment created by Dr. Curien himself. She is also the mother of Lisa Rogan.

Bosses

Chariot (Type 27): A three meter tall muscular zombie covered in thick, heavy metal plates of armor. The Chariot's primary weapon is a gigantic pole arm axe, and the only known weak spot of this ferocious creature is the small, glowing red crystal encrusted on the middle of its chest. This is also the same creature that "kills" Sophie with one swing of its axe.

The Hanged Man (Type 041): A blue-skinned, bat-like creature with claws on both the hands and feet. This experiment is also known to have a control over the undead bats in the area. This creature drags Sophie towards the back of the Curien Mansion, telling that she will never escape ALIVE! This creature's weak point is his chest.

Hermit (Type 6803): A gigantic mutant spider that guards the forbidden entrance and passageways of the Curien Research labs. This creature likes to attack by biting, scratching, and throwing up green venom balls on people. Its weak point is his head.

Magician (Type 0): A horned, half-armored humanoid with the ability to move quickly, emit fireballs, and levitate. This experiment turns against Dr. Curien near the end of G and Rogan's journey through the mansion. Unfortunately, there is no known weakness for this masterpiece.