Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time



I had to let him go. It was the only thing I could do after graduation because of the fact that the war with Voldemort was starting. I didn't want to hurt him if I died in the battle. Eighteen was too young for him to be hurt by my death. The hardest thing I had to do was walk away and pretend that I didn't love him, didn't want anything to do with him. I loved him more than life itself, but I walked away. I was used to walking away from people, leaving them confused and heartbroken. I was the "Boy Who Lived," the "Boy who Defeated Voldemort before He could walk." It was a heavy burden to put on anyone. Its something I never knew about until I was 11.

I didn't want to leave him behind. I wanted to take him with me, to let him fight with me, maybe die with me in battle, but I couldn't. I tried to protect him, but still, he was the son of Lucius Malfoy, a Death Eater and one of the biggest Voldemort supporters. He was supposed to follow in his Father's footsteps and become a death eater. Instead, we fell in love with each other and he promised me he wouldn't. I don't know if he lived up to his end of the promise because I walked out of his life at age 18.

I regret it now, I admit it. I regret letting Draco Malfoy go. I could've had handled it better, I know that now also. I know that we were meant to be together. But, I couldn't go back and be with him. He wouldn't take me, he would laugh at me. Knowing him, he has someone else. He was too good looking to be by himself for this long. I regret leaving him behind.


There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you know



There's no use of looking back and wondering what could have been. My destiny was pre-ordained, as was his. I was supposed to fight for the good of the world and he was supposed to be the devil incarnate, the next Lord Voldemort. He was more advanced in the Dark Arts than I could ever have been, and he taught me a lot about them. I've tried to avoid looking back into the past, to the happy times that he and I shared, the first real love either of us had ever had. I loved him, he loved me. He wanted me just to be me and I wanted him to be who I knew he could be.

I try not to think how it could be now. I mean, what's the point? Draco and Harry, the tree in the forbidden forest says. Our names carved forever in the bark of tree. Too bad we couldn't have lasted forever also. I know that I can't live in the past, but I know now what I should have known five years ago. I need Draco Malfoy as much as I need to breathe.


I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby



I never had any of my dreams come true until I met Draco Malfoy, because I never knew what dreams were living with the Dursleys. I mean, they hated me and my parents, and I was so happy when Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia died at the hands of Voldemort. Wouldn't people be shocked to hear that from Harry Potter? Alas, it's true. Until I met Draco Malfoy, I wasn't happy, I didn't even know what dreams were They squashed all my dreams. Draco Malfoy was my dream come true.

I have had other lovers since I walked out that day. There are some things you learn in the battles of war and I learned how to fuck them and leave them. They didn't mind, they were used to it, was a war after all and all is lost in love and war. However, every time I was fucking someone else, I was always thinking about Draco. Draco, my first, last and only love. I've tried to pretend that I have moved on, that my heart has healed and that my soul isn't cracked into a thousand pieces. It's not working. I want Draco Malfoy back, I want to be together with him forever. He'll always be my first love, my baby, my everything.


I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you



I never found the words to say "Wait, I didn't mean what I said, I want you with me forever." I couldn't say those words at the time, because at the time I did what I thought was right. I didn't want him to see what I knew I would see. After all, I saw Cedric Diggory die in my fourth year at the hands of Voldemort, I knew what he was capable of. He killed hundreds, if not thousands, of innocent people, and I did not want my beloved to be exposed to that. I thought that if he came with me, Voldemort would go with him first. I really did.

I've been all around the world since the war with Voldemort I've tried to forget him, to cleanse my soul of him, but I can't. Wherever I go, a part of me is still with him. My love, I have never forgotten him.


Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
And so my road can never be cause yesterday is all that fills my mind



In my memory of our times together, the time seems to blend together. I always lost the sense of time, because I thought forever is what we would have. I was wrong. I was wrong for leaving him go, and I regret it. God, do I regret it. I want him back so bad, but my heart is too fragile to go to him. I want to go to him, make everything right between us. I have wanted to send him an owl, to tell Hedwig to find him, no matter how long it takes, to send him a letter telling him to come to me. I can't do it. My pride won't let me.

Yesterday is all that fills my mind. All I can think about is yesterday, and all our time together. The good times, the bad times, the fights that we had. We had good times, but not all of them were good. We had our fights, and our fights were bad. But we always made up. We always managed to make up and move on. But, I ruined it. I could say it was all his fault, but it wasn't. It was mine. I take full blame. I want him back, because he is all that fills my mind.


There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go



I shouldn't look back, because the past is too painful. I look back and see what might have been and it makes me sad to think of what might have been. I remember when everyone found out about us. After the initial shock wore off of it being Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, everyone was accepting. Well, except for Ron, but he came around eventually and eventually he found love with someone also. And when everyone found out about that one, even I of all people was shocked. Ron and Snape? I mean, come on? I guess love works in mysterious ways, and the last I heard, they were still living together and relatively happy.

I wonder what Draco and I would be like now, five years into the future. Would we be happy? I know we would be together still, because our love for each other ran that deep. I know I should let him go, but I can't, because it means leaving behind the part of my life behind that was the happiest I've ever known. I need to let you go, Draco, but I can't and its not fair to you.


You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will
Oh baby, you'll always be the one I know I'll never forget



You've always been the one I dream about at night. You're still the one I dream of. I can never forget you. God knows I've tried. I've tried to leave you go, to let the past be the past, to find a new love, but I can't. I love you still, always and forever. I can never forget you, Draco Malfoy. I need you back, but that's not fair to you either. Yes you will, and you know the power that you have over me. You know that you've always had this power over me. the power to have my love, my heart. I will never forget you, Draco. I need to let you go.


There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye
No no no no



I need to quit looking back into the past. It's not getting me anywhere. Then why am I still trying to grasp the happiness I let slip through my fingers? Why can't I let go of you? Why? Why is it that I'm standing here, on your doorstep, waiting for you to answer the door. Why can't I just tell you goodbye.? Why can't I just turn and walk away. I've tried to leave you go, to tell you goodbye, but I can't. Please forgive me for this, but I can't do this. I have to leave you this note and turn and walk away.