Author's Note: This story takes place in the first movie after Viktor vows that Selene will have absolution once she kills Michael. These are her thoughts in that scene where she stands there reeling from his words.

The Mansion

Viktor: Fear not my child, absolution will be yours, the moment you kill the descendent of Corvinus…this…Michael…

The words had no sooner left Viktor's lips before my entire world came crashing down around me. I had never once questioned his world before. It wasn't even an option. The safety and continuation of the coven were all that mattered. But Michael changed all of that, without ever intending to. It was all his fault. I had known from the moment that we locked gazes that my life would never be the same again. If I had only known…

Erica's scathing statement about Michael, or my human as she affectionately called him, being a lycan shook me to the core. The thought of checking had somehow never crossed my mind; especially after all of the blood that I saw on his neck, it had to come from somewhere. Of course it could have been my own loss of blood that had me preoccupied but I still should have been more thorough. I had been so focused on the fact that the lycans were hunting Michael and rather than flee at the first opportunity to come his way he did nothing less than save my life, tended to my wounds even after I had explained to him that I would be fine, and stayed by my side until he passed out from exhaustion. His showing back up at the front gate after I had woken Viktor up was nothing short of amazing, well amazing or incredibly stupid. Kraven couldn't stop his tirade against my being able to choose my own path in life rather than be on his arm and simply an accessory, something to help further his standing within the coven. I ignored Kraven's glare with the same demeanor that I usually do and took Michael away before anyone could get any sudden ideas. I only intended to keep him away until I could return to the mansion and speak with Viktor. I was sure that he would know what to do. The kiss had originally been intended to shut him up, but I think that somewhere deep within my soul I was curious. His status as a lycan suddenly nonexistent. As our lips met sensations and feelings that I no longer thought that I possessed were reawakened within me in that single moment in time. My thoughts and feelings were still clouded by those very same feelings and sensations as I was given the beginning of my punishment for my actions. Had it not been for Erica's self-serving stunt of shutting off the power to the entire mansion I'm not sure that I could have made it back to Michael in time. The lycans surprised me more than once in that short amount of time as we fought. Had I not been able to haul a prisoner back to the mansion we would probably still believe Kraven's lies and have lost Michael forever.

But because of that we knew the truth. We had a chance to set the wrongs of the past right. But Michael's death would not be one of them. I didn't know how I was going to do it but I could not follow Viktor's orders like I always had before. I simply couldn't bring myself to kill Michael; no matter how hard I tried. It should have been like clockwork for me, killing was my profession; hell…it was my entire life. But every time that I closed my eyes and the image of a lifeless Michael lying on the dirty ground with silver nitrate running out of to many bullet wounds my throat would clench up tightly and my pulse would race, but not in a good way. I still had no idea how I was going to free Michael and get him out of the underworld, escaping Viktor's wrath, without getting caught. But whatever happened I knew that it would be one interesting night. -END

Author's Note: This is just a little thought that I had after watching the scene in the first movie right before the final battle where it seems as if Selene has a crisis of conscience at Viktor's words. If anything is off I apologize, I haven't read the book that I've heard a lot about so I might be lacking a few things. This little one shot is mostly about if Selene had a journal and had written about her thoughts in that short time towards the end of the first movie. I have seen the second movie and loved it and hope that a third one comes sooner rather than later. If they ever let Selene and Michael have a kid, since in the first one it was shown that a vampire and a lycan can have a child together and after the ending of the second movie a normal life for the two is now an option. Well at least as normal as a Selene could get. But if they ever had a kid I think that the perfect choice would be for them to have a daughter, given how being a daughter has been a central factor in both movies, first there was Sonja and then Selene as Viktor's daughter. So I'd say have Eliza Dushku play their daughter, after all being immortals neither Michael nor Selene would age like we would, allowing them to still be as we see them now many years after the birth of their child. Eliza has the dramatic ability to play the role. She's done enough actions scenes on Buffy, Angel, and her other movies that they'd be easy. And since a vampire's eyes seem to be so important to them, given the change of colors that they go through during the two movies, that she'd excel there as well, plus her voice wouldn't hurt for the horror/action movie atmosphere. So in closing I hope that you liked this little one shot. Reviews are greatly appreciated.