Well! A new story! Don't worry though; I'll finish my other one. This one just called to me. It said, "Write me, bitch! Write me now!" So I had to comply. This story will be SasuNaru (as I believe all Naruto fics should be) and hopefully have lots and lots of Sakura-bashing! XD Because I just never get around to it... And that makes me sad. So anyway! I hope you enjoy this. It's crack-tastic.

Disclaimer: Yes. I own Naruto. :sarcasm floods the world: Other than a set of Naruto swingers, I own nothing to do with Naruto. But I do adore those swingers! XD :plays with Itachi-swinger and Gaara-swinger:


Cell Seven had just gotten done with their latest mission, and were ready to go home. The young genin were all drained, even though they didn't want to admit it, and they just wanted to crawl into their nice, warm beds and sleep. However, their jounin sensei had other plans…

"I've always been told this village is a lovely place, but never had a chance to check it out. Why don't we stay here for the night?" The man smiled at him from behind his mask. "Besides, it's getting quite late and it looks as though it's going to storm…" As if confirming this statement, the sky let out a low rumble.

"Kakashi-sensei, there are no hotels," stated a young girl with pink hair and green eyes. She frowned at her sensei; she just wanted to get home. On the other hand… She may get to share a room with her crush…

Hearing the group's plight, an old woman, with a hunched back hobbled over to them. "I couldn't help overhearing your conversation… You said you needed a place to stay? Why, my son owns a nice hotel on the other side of town! Come with me…" She ushered them after her.

"Wait! Isn't that a hotel right there?" The team's sensei, Hatake Kakashi of the gravity defying silver hair, pointed to a small, decrepit hotel just across the way. "Hotel Jiraiya!"

The old woman's eyes widened. "Oh! You don't want to be goin' in there, dearies. 'Round these parts, that place is known as…" She looked around conspiratorially, and beckoned them closer with a finger. "The Prevert Hotel."

The young blond boy of the group cocked his head to the side, his blue eyes narrowing in confusion. "What's a 'prevert'?"

The other boy of the group, who had raven black hair, rolled his equally black eyes. "She meant 'pervert', dobe." He sighed, wondering when they could leave the old woman. Her breath was rancid.

Blondie, a.k.a. Uzumaki Naruto, scowled at the other boy. "Oi! I'm not a dobe, teme! Stop calling me that!" He lunged for the other boy.

"Naruto! Stop talking to Sasuke-kun like that!" Pinky, a.k.a. Haruno Sakura, smacked Naruto on the head, causing him to fall to the ground. No one got away with talking to Sasuke with her around, no siree.

Uchiha Sasuke, a.k.a. the Walking Ice-brick of Konoha, bit back a yawn. His teammates, especially the pink one, could be so tiring. Wonderful. Now he was starting to sound like Nara Shikamaru, a.k.a. the lazy one.

Elsewhere, in Konoha, a young brown haired genin sneezed.

Kakashi smiled at the old woman, ignoring his team who were currently fighting. "Well, it was very kind of you to offer your son's hotel, but I think we'll just stick with this one. We don't have much money on us… And this one doesn't look too expensive…"

The old woman snorted. "Fine! Take your luck at the Prevert Hotel. But don't say I didn't warn you…" And with that, she hobbled off, muttering under her breath.

Straightening up, Kakashi clapped his hands together. "Well! Let's go check in, shall we?"

He started towards the hotel, followed by Sasuke, the only one paying the slightest bit of attention.

When Naruto and Sakura noticed that their comrades' signature chakra was missing, they paused and looked around. "Where are Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke-kun/the teme?" They spotted them just entering the doors of the hotel. "OI! Wait for us!" And they took off after them.

Inside, Kakashi talked to the man behind the counter. He was older, with crazy white hair, and a peculiar glint in his eye. The two talked in hushed voices, rousing suspicion in the three genin.

"Why is Kakashi-sensei talking to that man like he knows him?"

"Maybe he does, dobe."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT, TEME!"

"Make me."

"I WILL! Someday…"

"I know a way you can shut him up now!" Kakashi sang.

"We don't want to hear it," they replied in unison, deadpanned.

The man behind the counter beamed. "I see what you mean, Kakashi."

Kakashi smiled at the man.

Naruto couldn't handle all of the secrecy. "What the hell is going on here!"

The two adults looked at him. "Whatever do you mean, Naruto?"

Naruto was on the verge of crying in frustration.

Kakashi ignored this and smiled at his team. "Team, I'd like to introduce you to the manager of the hotel, Jiraiya-sama. Jiraiya, this is my team. You already know about Naruto and Sasuke, and this is Haruno Sakura."

Jiraiya beamed at Naruto and Sasuke, and added a little leer at Sakura. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Sakura-san."

Sakura eyed the man warily. "Nice to meet you, Jiraiya-sama…"

"Well," Kakashi started, "Jiraiya has informed me that one of the rooms I reserved had to be used, so we only have two rooms. Sasuke, Naruto? That means you two have to share."

"Wait… You mean you reserved the rooms ahead of time? You planned all of this, Sensei!"

Kakashi faked an innocent look. "Planned what, Naruto? I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about. Now, here's the key, Sasuke. Make sure you take care of Naruto. You know he can be childish. Come now, Sakura. Our room is on the other side of the hotel." He placed an arm around Sakura's shoulders and led her away.

"Bu-Bu-But…" She looked back over her should, longingly. 'I wanted to room with Sasuke-kun…'

"No 'buts', Sakura. It would be very inappropriate of me to let you and Naruto room together. I do declare, what do you think of me? That cuts me deep, Sakura… Have you no faith in your sensei? Am I so low in your eyes?" He threw his other arm over his eyes. "Oh the pain! Oh the agony! My student does not believe in me! Woe is me!"

"Sensei! That's not true! I believe in you, sensei! … Did you say me and Naruto? You thought I wanted to room with Naruto!"

Their voices trailed off as Kakashi continued to lead Sakura away from the lobby, Sasuke and Naruto.

Sasuke, Naruto and Jiraiya stared after the two, disgusted, confused and impressed, respectively. Jiraiya smiled at the two boys in the lobby.

"So! You boys going to go to your room or what?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I'm going to the room. Naruto can do what he pleases." He headed towards the stairs.

"Oi! Wait! I'm going to the room, too, Sasuke-teme! I'm not gonna let you have the bed! It's mine!"

"Quiet, dobe. You're too loud. You can have the couch."

"No! You can have couch, teme! And stop calling me 'dobe'!"

Their voices faded as they made their way to their room. Jiraiya looked after them smiling, in a scary manner.

"Isn't that sweet… They already have pet names for each other…"

The jingle of bells drew his attention to a fair sized party. He blinked in surprise. He never really expected people to come in here. That old woman was being paid to scare people into not wanting to enter. What could these people want? None the less, Jiraiya smiled at them.

"Hello! Welcome to Hotel Jiraiya! What can I do you for?"

A medium sized man with a lean build, brown hair and a scar across his nose pushed himself forward among the crowd of young people. He stood at the counter, glowering at Jiraiya. And Jiraiya found himself wanting to cower under the look.

"I'm looking for Hatake Kakashi, Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura. Are they here?"

Jiraiya blinked. "Uh… Well… Who may I say is calling…?"

The man's glower darkened. "Are they here, sir!"

"Uhm…"

"Dolphy!"

This caught the attention of everyone, and they turned to see Kakashi standing there, beaming. Or at least they thought he was. It was hard to tell with that mask.

The man with the scar across his nose, a.k.a. Umino Iruka, glowered so darkly at the other man, that everyone in the room cowered, save for the person whom it was directed at.

"Kakashi! What is the meaning of this! Why didn't you come back to the village on time! And why are you and your team checked into a hotel that is five miles from where you live!"

Kakashi blinked at the other man. "It was too late to come back, and it looked like it was going to storm." He smiled at Iruka, a.k.a. his dolphin. "Come on, dolphin. Stay with me. I can get Sakura another room. And all of these little people can stay with her!"

The young people scowled at the jounin, angry at being called 'little people'. Well, most of them did, one just stared at the floor, another looked bored and yet another just stood there, so really, only one scowled. But she scowled enough for all of them.

Jiraiya cleared his throat. "Well! If I can have all of your names, I'll get you all rooms."

Iruka cleared his throat, and deliberately turned away from Kakashi. "Umino Iruka."

The boy with long, dark hair and white eyes stared at Jiraiya. "Hyuuga Neji."

The blonde haired, blue eyed girl who had scowled at Kakashi raised her chin proudly. "Yamanaka Ino."

The boy with his brown hair in a pony-tail sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "Nara Shikamaru."

The girl with short, purple hair and pale eyes stared at her feet and twiddled her fingers nervously. "Hy-Hyuuga Hinata…"

Jiraiya smiled at them all. "Very well! Here are your keys!" He handed the boys one set of keys and the girls another. "The boys will have to share a room and the girls can share the other. We're, uhm, we're awfully full tonight…"

Jiraiya was left staring after everyone as they left the lobby, wondering 'Whendid this plan fall apart…?'


So0o0... Did you like it? Should I continue? If you think so, would you... LET ME KNOW IN A REVIEW! In case people didn't know, the author can see when people read the story, and then they also know how many out of those people review. And let me just say... the distance between those numbers is emense. So why don't we try and shorten that gap, hm? What do you say? I'll give you a cookie if you do. I may review your stories, if they happen to fall in areas that I like. And just to put the icing on the cake, I'll mention you in the next chapter! Isn't that nice of me? But I can only do that if you REVIEW! So do that. And you and I can both be happy.

Sorry to sound like a bitch, but it just really bugs me. I put a lot of work into this thing... :(

And to all of those who review my other stories... I LOVE YOU::gives cookies to other reviewers, big, chunky, warm, gooey, fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies: Enjoy!