Disclaimer: The characters belong to J.K. Rowling and whoever made the TourettesGUY!
"Harry! Look!" yelled Hermione, pointing twards the doorway of the Great Hall.
Harry followed his eyes to where she was pointing. There was an odd man there, with a blue t-shirt and a neck brace.
"Haha, look Potter your boyfriends here!" Yelled Malfoy.
But everyone quit talking and the hall went silent as the strange visitor yelled.
"PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISS! WHAT THE FUCK!"
Harry then realized that this man was a muggle. He quickly went over to him.
"He-he-hello sir. I'm Harry Potter."
"GO COUNT YOUR DICK! THE LAST TIME I GAVE A SHIT I GOT FUCKED!"
Startled Harry spoke again.
"Are you ok, sir?"
"NO! IT'S EMBARASSING AS FUCK TO HAVE A ASS!"
Finally Harry just gave up with the strange man. Next Draco came up.
"Hello sir. I see you hate that stupid Potter, too. The name's Draco, Draco Malfoy."
Draco offered his hand.
"FUCK YOU! YOU CAN TAKE A TWO HOUR SHIT AT JOLLY PIRATE DONUTS FOR ALL I CARE!"
Suddenly from behind this strange man a boy came.
"CAUSE YOU DON'T THINK THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL SOUNDS LIKE CHEWBACCA TAKING A SHIT, THAT'S WHY!"
Suddenly a wand came flying at the strange man.
"AHHHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK!" He yelled as he fell over on the wand. "IT'S EMBARASSING AS FUCK TO HAVE THIS DILDO UP MY ASS! PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISS!"
"Dad, really let's just go and leave these people alone! We can't just leave mom with Great Grandma."
The man sat and thought for a bit.
"I love my grandma Jennelle. She's the sweetest person in the whole word. BUT SHE'S OLD AS FUCK!"
"Fine! FUCKIN STAY HERE!"
And they boy stormed off.
"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT USING THAT WORD?"
Just then Draco had an idea. He cast a spell and Harry went flying into the man.
"YOU'VE GOT YOU'RE ASS UP YOUR ASS!"
"Sorry!" Harry muttered.
He slowly got up and as he did he accidentally hit this poor mans dick.
"OUCH! YOU'RE LUCKY IT WASN'T HARD! YES MY DICK OR COCK. YOU CAN'T DO SHIT WITHOUT YOUR BALLS!"
Suddenly Dumbledore came into the hall and the man dived under a table.
"Harry, did you see what he looked like?"
"YES! HE WAS A LONG LEGGED PISSED OFF PUERTO RICAN!" Said a voice from under the table. He got up, hitting his head.
"OH BOB SAGET!"
"Well I must get this poor man back." Said Dumbledore and with the wave of his wand the man dissappeared.
"THESE FISHSTICKS ARE AS HARD AS TITS!" Came a yell from the other end.
"Oh fuck this!" Said Dumbledore. And with the wave of his wand the man was thrown into the fireplace, screaming until the end.
"Let this be a lesson to you all."
"Sir, what is the lesson?" Said a stupid boy.
"GO COUNT YOUR DICK OR COCK I'M TOO FUCKING OLD FOR THIS! BOB SAGET!"
And Bob Saget appeared and him and Dumbledore rode off on magical unicorns to the land of never never.