Disclaimer: No… I don't own Harry Potter… such a shame. Oh and the title for this story and the basic idea for this story was taken from the "Rejected Book Titles" List from mugglenet.
A/N: This isn't really a sequel to "H.P.& The Case of the Clean but Unfolded Laundry" it's more like the 2nd story in a series of stories that aren't really related. I'm going to write other story parodies as well, and they're all going to subtly refer to each other but you don't have to read them in sequential order.
A/N (again): Also, thanks to Doris: BETA! Yay!
Harry Potter and Professor Snape's really awesome pink boxers that happen to be worn everyday of his life
"Ginny…I still don't know how to thank you enough for saving me from that unfolded laundry… you'll always be my hero." Harry Potter told a 16- year- old Ginny Weasley. He smiled at her with a lop-sided grin and ruffled his impossibly-messy jet-black hair with his hand.
"Harry, it's my pleasure to help you out. Because I'm just really awesome and I can help anyone out with anything. Yeah, you're jealous. Anyway, I'm going back to the common room, bye, love!" Ginny said and she pecked Harry on the lips and turned around to return to the Gryffindor Common Room, her long red hair swinging behind her.
Harry kept walking along, planning on taking a trip to the kitchens. He whistled 'Santa Claus is coming to town' as he made his way to the kitchens. He was about to turn the corner on the 2nd floor when something pink grabbed his attention. With an eyebrow raised, he turned to face the pink entity that had caught his eye and was overcome with surprise.
In front of him, on the floor, were possibly the coolest boxers Harry had ever seen. They were hot pink, cotton, and had shiny pink sequences artistically placed in random spots with "I'm too sexy for my boxers" written on them in bubbly, white writing. Harry could only recall seeing boxers half as awesome as these once, and it was nearly 2 years ago…
"Hey Ron, what do you think of this shirt?" Harry asked, holding up a light blue t-shirt.
"Hmm, it's a nice shirt, but it clashes with your eyes. You should stick to the darker colors, especially green." Ron said with his hand on his chin, as if in great thought.
"You think so? Yeah, I guess you're right… You should try this shirt, it would really bring out the blue in your eyes." Harry replied, giving the light blue shirt to Ron and holding up a dark green shirt while looking at himself in the mirror. Smiling at the way the green complemented his eyes, he turned around only to stop and stare in awe.
There, on the shelf next to the shirts, were boxers. And one pair of boxers stood out respectively. They were lime green, with purple hearts all over them, and "You're jealous of my awesome boxers" written on the buttocks of them in scarlet, cursive writing.
"EHMAHGOSH!" Harry and Ron both said at the same time, having both seen the amazing boxers at the same time. They both looked at each other and after much violence and an exchange of harmful words, they decided it would be best if neither of them bought the boxers. Such a shame.
Harry went to pick up the boxers. He was halfway there when he realized he didn't know who the boxers belonged to and how they had gotten there.
"Scourgify, Wingardium Leviosa." Harry said, levitating the clean boxers over to him to inspect their perfection. Just as he was about to let them down and bring them to his dorm-
"POTTER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! PUT THOSE DOWN NOW! THEY'RE MINE!" Professor Severus Snape, the potions master, yelled at Harry.
"No! I found them! Finders keepers, losers weepers!" Harry said, sticking his tongue out at Snape.
"POTTER I WEAR THOSE EVEYRDAY, I CANNOT GO ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT THEM! STUPID HOUSE ELF STOLE THEM THE OTHER DAY…GRRR, GIVE THEM HERE!"
"Uhm… no." Harry said, running off to Gryffindor tower, Snape on his heel. Harry was about to make it… almost there… BANG! Snape had jumped on Harry, wrestling him to the floor. Snape grabbed the awesome pink boxers out of Harry's grasp then ran off to the dungeons. But that wasn't the end! Harry wouldn't stop there!
"Give- Them- Here!" Harry said as he ran into Snape's office.
"CRUCIO!" Snape shouted as Harry entered.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the pain!
"STUPID BOY::takes off cruciatus curse:"
"FINE! HAVE YOUR STUPID BOXERS! I DON'T NEED BOXERS ANWAY! I GO COMMANDO!" Harry said angrily, running off to Gryffindor tower, hoping to be comforted by Ginny.
A/N: Please review, hope you guys liked it! Keep an eye out for other H.P. parodies like these, written by yours truly. :-D